Love: Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with...

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By Anonymous - 22/10/2011 06:10 - United States

Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 616

You deserved it 53 645

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Same thing different taste

Poor little guy

By Anonymous - 04/03/2021 14:01

Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 171

Jealous much?

By Anonymous - 09/02/2010 06:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told my hamster he loved her. Repeatedly. In 'cute' baby voices. He has yet to say it to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 375

You deserved it 5 790

Halitosis

By Anonymous - 13/10/2021 20:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when I asked him to go brush his teeth, since his breath stank. He went back to playing video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 290

So…

By Anonymous - 29/03/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, my sister brought her class hamster home from school. Somehow it escaped from its cage, and ran into my room. My boyfriend, thinking it was a mouse, stomped on it. I'm stuck cleaning hamster guts from my carpet, and have to explain to a kindergarten class what happened to their pet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 766

You deserved it 7 628

By GasAttack - 07/09/2009 13:32 - Canada

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 485

You deserved it 8 538

By traumatised - 11/10/2009 16:16 - United Kingdom

Today, my new roommate decided to put his pet hamster in the same cage as my beloved hamster. Apparently he wanted them to make hamster babies. They are both males. His hamster attacked mine and tore it to pieces. I just finished cleaning up the mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 489

You deserved it 2 793

By Cheese4men - 14/05/2010 23:28 - Canada

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 626

You deserved it 8 783

By HaleyIsabelle - 08/03/2010 20:54 - France

Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 469

You deserved it 3 716

By zac545 - 19/02/2009 06:14 - United States

Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 956

You deserved it 11 238

The Taste of Love

By Anonymous - 05/04/2020 14:00

Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 496

You deserved it 319

laurabev 9

Saturday 22 October 2011 12:16

Why would you suck on his fingers??

peete182 0

Saturday 22 October 2011 12:20

Dont suck things that have been holding hamsters

Comments

GypsyRover 0

Saturday 22 October 2011 23:33

That is wrong on SO MANEY levels!!! You make me randy!

MaskedAspen 6

Saturday 22 October 2011 23:36

that's not even remotely cute.

deet124 11

Saturday 22 October 2011 23:44

SUCKS to PEE-YOU! :D

hatersgunnahat 0

Sunday 23 October 2011 5:03

Lol

Da_Bozz 13

Sunday 23 October 2011 1:00

Why do you suck his fingers although you know he played with the hamster?

omgiculol 4

Sunday 23 October 2011 3:19

is your boyfriend like 8 years old? seriously...

hatersgunnahat 0

Sunday 23 October 2011 4:56

Apparently it didn't smell.

bzett 0

Sunday 23 October 2011 5:37

did it taste as good as it smells?

alannah1988 4

Sunday 23 October 2011 6:47

That's why you should never shove anything in your mouth before smelling it - general rule.

theonlysweetpea 10

Sunday 23 October 2011 7:01

You are kinda the dumbest **** I've ever heard of. Sorry but there are too many strikes in this FML to go with any other judgement. YDI

fuckkyeaaaalaura 12

Sunday 23 October 2011 8:02

That is not cute at all

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Scams Party Awkward Money Capitalism Health Relatable Periods Gross Poopoo peepee Relationship advice Love Embarrassing Keys Transportation Sports Cars Miscellaneous Alcohol Parenting Ironic Work Cats Animals Scary Cute Death Suspicious AITA Family

The Top

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 652

You deserved it 5 182

Today, I ran to hug my mom at the airport, but when I stepped back, I realized I was hugging a total stranger who just so happened to be wearing the same coat as her usual coat. She smiled awkwardly as I backed away and said, “Sorry, I thought you were my mom.” The next level of embarrassment came when I looked up and saw my actual mom staring at me in horror from a few feet away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 397

The Top

Today, my friend used my phone to tag some of my overweight Facebook friends in a weight-loss video, along with the comment "Here's some motivation, fatasses!" I was able to delete the post, but not before I got a bunch of angry messages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 738

You deserved it 2 607

Today, I put some Gold Bond in between my legs to help reduce moisture. After I finished applying it, I discovered that the Gold Bond had Menthol in it. My crotch is on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 591

You deserved it 2 353

Today, after my bosses excitedly told me I'm getting promoted to customer service at our grocery store, a customer called me an idiot in the parking lot for accidentally backing into the shopping cart she left in my blind spot. So it begins… FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 145

You deserved it 5 403

Today, I went to see the cast list for the new musical I'm in. I didn't get the part I wanted, and instead I got the part of one of the suitors. Interestingly, they made me the suitor to my ex. And the guy she leaves me for at the end of the musical is the guy she left me for in real life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 461

You deserved it 3 144

Today, I was training a new person. The job included driving around the city all day, during which she decided to hang her head out the window and bark like a dog. I spent an 8-hour shift with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 823

You deserved it 3 417

Today, I left 20 minutes early for school to get a good seat in class. I sat in traffic for 20 minutes before I even got on the thruway and for another 25 minutes once I got off the exit for school. Then I couldn't find parking at my university. I missed class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 945

You deserved it 806