Health: Today, I was sitting at my desk when out of nowhere I had a "silent...

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By fucktheearth - 20/04/2016 03:32 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was sitting at my desk when out of nowhere I had a "silent sneeze attack". Someone in the office called the paramedics because they thought I was having a seizure. This is the third time this has happened this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 485

You deserved it 2 056

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By Anon - 19/06/2024 12:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 139

Sneaky sneezy

By Worn Out - 11/11/2022 21:00 - United States

Today, I sneezed four times in succession. The problem is that I've never sneezed more than three times in a row in my life, so the fourth one came as such a shock to me that I accidentally banged my head on my desk when it occurred. FML

I agree, your life sucks 656

You deserved it 293

By SoSoRachel - 31/10/2012 21:03 - United States - Dunlap

Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 385

You deserved it 1 895

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 144

By Walter_Sobchak7 - 12/08/2017 01:30

Today, while at work, a sneeze snuck up on me. Ever sneeze so violently your fake tooth shoots into the cubicle across from you? FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 577

You deserved it 343

No laugh track required

By Anonymous - 06/05/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I sneezed so hard at work that I farted. In the silence in our open space office that followed, my boss looked over, smiled, and said, "Bless you?" The people in the office who weren't wearing headphones burst out laughing, then those people noticed the laughter, took their headphones off, and my boss then had to explain to them why they were laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 123

By race - 18/11/2010 08:37 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting and someone behind me sneezed really loudly. As they were doing so, I felt something cold land on my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 672

You deserved it 2 679

By HWS - 15/04/2011 05:47 - Canada

Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 293

You deserved it 7 777

By all arsed out - 06/03/2016 16:50 - United Kingdom - Spalding

Today, I suffered an uncontrollable sneezing attack. I have the runs. It wasn't exactly as bad as I'd have expected. Just a lot worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 661

You deserved it 1 560

By bglenney - 15/08/2013 09:47 - United States

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 946

You deserved it 4 191

WarmBuns 11

Wednesday 20 April 2016 19:19

Get a heart attack next time, they wont believe you.

wesleyc2110 22

Wednesday 20 April 2016 19:20

Allergies are great aren't they

Comments

thestoryofacaleb 14

Wednesday 20 April 2016 19:26

The third time they've called the paramedics or you've had a sneezing attack? Either way, fyl OP.

NotGabe 28

Wednesday 20 April 2016 19:42

I'd rather have a silent sneeze attack than a loud AF trumpet rampage haha

Chikiriwak 17

Wednesday 20 April 2016 20:15

Third time and it's only Wednesday... Remind everybody tomorrow about your sneezing attacks just in case

isaak_sanchez 18

Wednesday 20 April 2016 20:47

Let the sneeze out

False_Stupidity 41

Wednesday 20 April 2016 23:20

Silent sneeze attack sounds like your trying to hold them back. There is a lot of pressure involved and it's simply not healthy to hold in a sneeze.

D3ath0f5ilence 7

Wednesday 20 April 2016 23:44

Go to the doctor and get a prescription for allergy meds

Estelle101_fml 13

Thursday 21 April 2016 1:18

I understand your frustration op, people either think that or remark that I sound like a dying bunny.

dharmaint 15

Thursday 21 April 2016 1:30

Why not try to ask u first

KickAss73 12

Thursday 21 April 2016 2:32

Hope whatever is causing you this goes away

BeautifulChaos27 37

Thursday 21 April 2016 4:57

I've never seen, or heard of, anyone having a "silent sneeze attack".

Bansheefaerie 9

Thursday 21 April 2016 13:20

I think by silent sneeze attack they mean a sneeze attack that they try to hold back or prevent from being loud. My oldest daughter does that.

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I agree, your life sucks 33 629

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for no real reason via text message. A few hours later, she updated her relationship status on Facebook to "in a relationship." Her new "boyfriend"? Her cat. A mutual friend commented, "Well, he's better than that idiot you had before." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 470

You deserved it 6 173

Today, I've come to accept that I'll likely never be intimidating or taken seriously, because despite being 6'3" and 205 lbs, I have the face of a 12 year-old. I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 138

Fine... I guess?

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You deserved it 101

Today, I learned there is such a thing as "too much sex". After a full week of having sex at least twice a day with my girlfriend, I had to go to the GP due to a painful erection and swelling. The constant sex had caused me to burst a blood vessel in my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 660

You deserved it 2 914

Today, after months of begging, I finally convinced my friends to go skiing with me. On our first run I suggested a race. Everybody loved the idea. Good news: I came in first. Bad news: I tore a ligament in my knee. It will be operated on tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 695

You deserved it 1 065

Today, I was told that all the data on my laptop is unrecoverable after my hard drive crashed. I have been charged £300 for them to tell me this. Feeling sorry for myself, I wrapped myself up in a blanket and turned on my fan radiator as it's so cold… and promptly set my carpet on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 816

You deserved it 3 912