Intimacy: Today, I was sitting on the bus when a good looking girl accidentally...

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 07:49 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the bus when a good looking girl accidentally brushed her ass up against my shoulder as she walked past. This only made me realize that this has been the closest I've come to touching a girls ass in over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 551

You deserved it 6 259

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Same thing different taste

By swedishguy - 05/10/2009 17:22 - Sweden

Today, I was paying for coffee and accidentally touched hands with the girl behind the counter. As I was walking home, I realised that was the closest I've been to getting laid in two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 391

You deserved it 5 030

By gringa_Peru - 18/04/2009 01:19 - Peru

Today, I had the good fortune of finding a seat on the bus, not the norm in Peru. Several minutes after sitting down, I felt something on my shoulder. Thinking it was a hand, I turned my head to look. I came face to face with a dirty man's crotch, it was his erection resting on my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170 216

You deserved it 9 867

By dickface - 28/03/2011 20:13 - Canada

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 802

You deserved it 30 068

By EricCartman - 20/05/2009 03:31 - United States

Today, I was riding the bus home from school. I was sitting by myself, and my backpack was occupying the seat next to me. A hot girl boarded the bus, and was standing right where I was sitting. I placed my backpack on my lap, freeing up the seat. The girl stood the entire bus ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 613

You deserved it 6 452

Family jewels

By DanJames24 - 05/06/2020 14:00

Today, while on the bus, I had to stand as all the seats were taken. I was standing behind a group of small girls who were messing around with their bags. As they were swinging them, one hit me square in the nuts with her elbow. The girl said, “Wise up, I hardly touched you.” I missed my stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 726

You deserved it 186

Three's a crowd

By Anonymous - 13/08/2014 11:33 - Australia - Rooty Hill

Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 681

You deserved it 4 020

By Chris - 22/10/2009 04:57 - Canada

Today, I was riding the bus home from college. I was standing in the aisle and there was a rather cute girl sitting next to me. The bus came to an abrupt stop, I tripped, and fell into her lap. She shrieked, "Eww! Get off me!" and shove me onto the floor of the bus. Nice to know I'm revolting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 421

You deserved it 4 881

By nevergoingonabusagain - 30/05/2009 06:52 - Canada

Today, there were no more seats on the bus I was taking home, which meant I had to stand. I noticed that a creepy guy sitting in front of me had a boner, so I took a few steps back. Suddenly the bus went through something like a speed bump, which caused me to fall and sit on the man's lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 264

You deserved it 5 713

By comfylap - 28/05/2010 23:30 - United States

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a cute girl I didn't know. She fell asleep on my lap by accident and I just let her for the whole train ride. This is the closest I've ever been with a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 821

You deserved it 6 447

By scarlet - 09/05/2011 15:02 - Canada

Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 897

You deserved it 3 413

Doortje 29

Sunday 16 January 2011 16:41

You should take the bus more often.

perdix 29

Sunday 16 January 2011 17:24

So what happened over a year ago? Did you bump into a girl's ass in a check-out counter line or something? I'm hassling you, buddy, but I'm on a bit of an ass-touching drought myself, butt I'm hoping to fix that sooñ.

Comments

NikkiSaidSo 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 17:00

Don't worry guys, he touched his boyfriends ass just last night.

musickraze45 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 17:04

hahaha funny

haggymypants 3

Sunday 16 January 2011 21:24

Was that supposed to be a witty homosexual joke? If it was, explain what's so wrong with being a homosexual.

therealsuperman 0

Monday 17 January 2011 2:45

he didn't say there was anything wrong with gay people, don't look for every excuse to overreact

xxcheezy7xx 5

Sunday 16 January 2011 17:04

uhmm why would you want to? you know we shit outta our asses in case you have forgotten.

NuyoRicanGirl 3

Sunday 16 January 2011 17:20

:-/ I hope you don't shit all over your ass cheeks =p jk jk

DahkLohd 4

Sunday 16 January 2011 17:22

THAT IS A LIE! Everyone knows that girls don't poop. :)

LoveMySoldier82 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 17:59

We don't sweat or fart, either.

derpyderpton1408 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 21:25

If you guys didn't bitch, you'd explode

KristinaKreme 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 22:24

Um sorry for changing the subject but um, 33, I looked at your profile and it says you have 3 young kids and your husband is a soldier yet you have a picture of your breasts and you set it as your profile pic on FML? Am I the only one here?

LoveMySoldier82 0

Monday 17 January 2011 3:00

60 Thank you for proving 57 right. So technically, not completely off subject. Now, the picture I posted was a fully clothed upper body shot that was cropped when posted with my phone. But I'm loving the 12 yr old duck face look on you.

ismfof1 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 17:08

u shoudv spanked that ass! Itz been a year, so what have u realy got to loose?

DocBastard 38

Monday 17 January 2011 5:20

How about his freedom? You know, when he gets arrested and thrown in jail for battery?

strawberrybanana_fml 1

Sunday 16 January 2011 17:20

get over yourself

Ranimal 12

Sunday 16 January 2011 17:22

So FYL because you have no game and can't get laid? Uhm, no.

haggymypants 3

Sunday 16 January 2011 21:27

I would like to say the same thing to you sir.

Kaiden2554 0

Monday 17 January 2011 8:57

58 - Your profille peec confuzzes meh.

perdix 29

Sunday 16 January 2011 17:24

TheSexynator 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 17:44

and that's wat she had said

bfflrhea 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 19:46

why are you telling us thiss??

summersizzle 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 18:28

what is it with guys and asses I'll never understand.

stevenmx86 7

Sunday 16 January 2011 17:27

Oh wah wah wah.. Stop whining and go find a woman you wuss..

DeathShad0 1

Sunday 16 January 2011 17:38

Congratulations? You may have an obsession with asses, OP.

banana_buddy 6

Sunday 16 January 2011 17:49

The implication being the OP is a dick with no balls?

Wheredidgrungego 12

Sunday 16 January 2011 17:45

Is it honestly that hard to get laid for you? As long as you have a halfway decent personality and don't look like a gremlin, it shouldn't be that hard.