Miscellaneous: Today, I was so lonely that I pretended I wanted to buy something... - FML

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By lonelynessinCA - 14/03/2011 18:31 - United States

Today, I was so lonely that I pretended I wanted to buy something from a telemarketer so that they would keep talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 024

You deserved it 9 785

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Same thing different taste

By lonely loser - 22/08/2014 18:04 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was so desperately lonely that I begged a telemarketer not to hang up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 757

You deserved it 6 788

Desperation

By Anonymous - 18/02/2022 21:59

Today, I felt so lonely that I went on an online chat website and pretended to be a girl just so someone would talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 647

You deserved it 402

By forever alone - 05/05/2019 04:00

Today, I was so desperate for someone to talk to I called various restaurants pretending to be interested in ordering food, just so I could have a conversation. I called eleven different places. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 010

You deserved it 846

Forever alone man

By Boyufd - 02/01/2021 08:00

Today, I feel so lonely I talked to the likely scam number that called me. Even then they hung up after 2 minutes of talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 180

Poor choices were made

By Anonymous - 27/10/2022 22:00

Today, I'm so lonely that I actually convinced myself it was by choice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 666

You deserved it 185

By lonesome - 15/12/2014 03:22 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 566

You deserved it 6 247

By LonelyAF - 12/08/2017 13:00

Today, I was so lonely I called my stalker ex-boyfriend. He was too busy to talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 412

You deserved it 4 358

By oxbonxo - 07/02/2011 08:38 - Australia

Today, after hanging up the phone, I realised that telemarketers are my only form of social life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 598

You deserved it 6 164

We are legion

By Lennie Mcfish - 26/09/2019 20:01

Today, I'm so lonely that I created multiple fake accounts on different social media platforms, just so I can have people to talk to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 119

You deserved it 580

Lonely, so lonely

By Gina Marie Lombardi - 31/07/2021 11:01

Today, I realized how lonely I am when someone called my number by mistake and I talked with them for 5 minutes. I don’t know who she was, but I'm so lonely I was happy to have someone engage in a conversation, even if it was about her calling the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 123

Next

Top comments

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Monday 14 March 2011 23:16

op call me! I can hook you up with some shamwows to wipe away you tears. Only $10.99

DoubleEdgedBlade 4

Tuesday 15 March 2011 8:57

OP, don't listen to 5, I can hook you up with the exact same product for the cheap price of $10.98!

Comments

rusrsbrah 0

Saturday 12 November 2011 22:55

Go to a bar. Attempt to socialize. If you succeed, you get a new friend. If you fail, you get drunk. Win-win.

ancollins 6

Wednesday 29 February 2012 6:04

It's when you start calling THEM that you have a problem

foxwithit420 19

Thursday 26 September 2013 19:58

thats not funny.. I am a telemarketer an somone kept me on the phone for 30 min acting as if they would buy.. I lost 4 potential sales in that time... Now my pay is cut :( FML

mataroki 13

Friday 24 October 2014 0:08

You can always message me, im always up to make new friends and wont try to sell you crappy overpriced things from the internet xD

Couch_Potato 17

Thursday 21 July 2016 5:17

Awww honey I'm sorry. hey you ever need a friend add me message me on here and I'll give you my snapchat and number

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 2 181

Today, I was working at Chuck-E-Cheese. If that isn't enough, I was put in the mouse costume. Due to the disgusting hot smell and atmosphere in the costume, I fainted in front of a birthday party. I awoke to a little boy screaming who then kicked me in the face and ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 411

You deserved it 4 423

The Top

Today, I was helping my mom pack for our family vacation. We were both talking about how excited we were, when she turned to me and said, "Would you be offended if I asked you not to come? It's just… I want to have fun." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 089

You deserved it 5 574

Today, my boyfriend's dad's new girlfriend gave me a bar of soap, a sequin dress covered in her body odor, and a child-sized used Coach purse that smells like feet. She insists that I wear this outfit to their New Years Eve party. I gave them a bottle of expensive olive oil and a vinegar set. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 097

You deserved it 746

Today, I'm a hotel housekeeper. I was warned by the manager that one of the rooms was "horrible." When I got to said room, I understood: what he meant; it looked as though it was raided by a drunken caveman. It took my friend and I almost an hour to clean it up completely. At least the "caveman" left a $2.00 tip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 119

Today, my landlord came over while I wasn't home. My friend and her pets were thrown out by her husband. I'm the only person she knows in this state and she begged me to stay. I reluctantly told her fine; just don't answer the door. She did, with the animals, and told him she was living here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 503

You deserved it 6 469

Today, I saw a cute girl working register at my regular coffee shop and politely asked the her for her number. I was brutally rejected. A few minutes later, a douchebag with a popped collar approached her with a cheesy pickup line and left with not only her number, but a free frappe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 059

You deserved it 6 138

Today, I found out that the phone number I switched to used to host an amateur phone sex hotline. I found this out after getting several calls by teenagers, who sounded as if they were masturbating, even as I yelled that they had the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 572

You deserved it 2 033