By whyme - 12/09/2013 14:44 - United States - Tampa

Today, I was standing in line at the grocery store waiting for my husband. After a while, I feel him kissing my neck, so I turn to tell him that it's not appropriate in public. It wasn't my husband. FML
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You deserved it 4 578
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Top comments

The_9th_Doctor 18

did you slap him?

440 7
confusedAsFuck 34

I feel another FML coming "Today, I was standing in line at a grocery store, and I saw my wife. I wanted to surprise kiss her on the neck. It wasn't my wife and I got bitch slapped. FML"

302 2

Comments

The_9th_Doctor 18

did you slap him?

440 7
confusedAsFuck 34

I feel another FML coming "Today, I was standing in line at a grocery store, and I saw my wife. I wanted to surprise kiss her on the neck. It wasn't my wife and I got bitch slapped. FML"

302 2
The_9th_Doctor 18

Hmmm. Truth you speak. wise you are.

48 3
euphoricness 28

That actually was an FML I believe, 34. I hope other people know I'm talking about lol. I think it was the exact same thing except OP was a girl and she wanted to surprise her husband and so she kissed him on the neck while he was cashiering or something Yeah hopefully I don't sound crazy...

53 4
lolita88_fml 27

I hope she did, what kind of creepy pervert just starts kissing a random woman's neck in public?

46 4
CallMeMcFeelii 13

So you're telling me, 48, you don't kiss a persons neck to say hello? I myself, go for the ear nibble for the polite way to say "Hi!", to a new person I meet. Of course you need to follow that up with a tongue in the ear canal to ask them how they've been. I don't know.. Maybe I'm just too nice?

106 5
Gingerette 8

You aren't too nice, 54. You are just the right amount of nice. I would sneak up behind you and rub your shoulders to communicate my approval, if I knew you.

51 1
RedPillSucks 31

@58 a tad creepy. I imagine that's what happened to OP. *ooo you so fine.... ooo ima nibble on yo neck.... yeah... aahh yeah sugga*

6 45
CallMeMcFeelii 13

If you ever see a guy walking around shirtless sporting a storm troopers mask, you'll now know it's me, 58. I'll never turn down a good ol' shoulder rub!

37 1
shellykjelly 26

Did you slap him with a banana?* it's a good source of potassium

14 6
becka2s 14

I remember seeing that #46! It was funny seeing the other persons FML haha

1 10
Jessa91 10

Gross. I surely hope you gave them what they had coming.

225 5
Tiryth 10

Mega kick to the balls!

10 2
Welshite 39

It was a ghost. I have phantom kissers all the time. I don't know if that's my "forever alone" life trying to make me feel better, or if I'm just crazy.

badluckdawson 19

You're just crazy

106 4
Welshite 39

Awesome! :D I finally have an excuse for the police when I streak at football games. Wooo!

94 9
Tigerblossom 19

Well... That's not appropriate either. So I guess the statement still works.

121 4
WompWompWomp123 7

Uppercut him, then tell your husband.

96 4
Axipiter 24

66, your comment has successfully destroyed the English language. It's a free-for-all! Raid all the libraries and bookstores and scoop up whatever dictionaries you can find! The apocalypse is here! Ugh...

17 5
mangalomelon 7

Oh, okay, 76. "You're goin' to jail now!" Please don't throw a dictionary at me. Those hurt :(.

12 15
Dontstealmyname 11

91, It's *going not goin'. If you're going to correct yourself, at least do a decent job at it.

6 20
graceinsheepwear 33

94, they used an apostrophe to indicate slang, so completely correct in that context. goin'

24 2
WompWompWomp123 7

Not if it's an "accidental" shoryuken.

0 0
Soloman212 28

In fact an apostrophe represents a missing letter, so really goin' is perfectly correct.

5 0
Wizardo 33

That's when you one inch punched him and called the police right? That's molestation right there.

81 9
CallMeMcFeelii 13

I love how you said one inch punch. Going straight Bruce Lee on that creeper. Ki Ya! Sound effects, they do work.

37 3
geekpower_fml 28

Yes, #83. In the middle of the store... Some people...

9 0
challan 19

Were you buying items to make sandwiches? You may have been his dream woman.

105 22
Enslaved 36

Did he freak out mistakenly thinking you were his wife? Or do we have a kissing bandit on the loose!? :P

100 5
Axipiter 24

This actually happened in my city. There was a random guy going up to girls and kissing them. It was kinda scary...

14 0
graceinsheepwear 33

When I was little, my mom played a "kissing bee" game with me. One day, my mom ran into the mother of a boy in my elementary school class and the boy's mom said that some girls kept chasing her poor Brian on the playground and saying they were kissing bees. Drats! Foiled again!

3 3
Warmonger_Smurf 29

Why is that not appropriate for your husband?

49 20
Life_is_FML 22

Uh a quick peck is ok but full on neck kissing is a little too sexual for public

60 14
BluKatz 11

"Mommy, why is that man eating that womans neck?"

81 3