Love: Today, I was taking the metro into DC for my internship. Two...

By sweet - 26/03/2009 18:08 - United States

Today, I was taking the metro into DC for my internship. Two guys came in and started talking to each other in Arabic. One boy turned to the other said "Do you think shes cute?" The other responded "Her face is hideous but she has nice tits." I am fluent in Arabic. They were looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 354

You deserved it 5 440

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Mean Girls

By Anonymous - 03/12/2022 17:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, my sister and I saw a guy with a terrible nose job coming up the bus. She said to me, "Look how ugly that guy is" in our native tongue. The man sat down right in front of us, took his phone out, and started talking our language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 1 959

It's all Double Dutch to me

By MahmoudA - 26/02/2023 02:00

Today, I was asked to translate for a family in Arabic since I’m the only one in my office who speaks Arabic. Turns out the family is actually from Bangladesh. They speak Bengali. When I explained this to my coworker he replied, “But aren’t y’all Middle Easterns related or something?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 94

Assface

By bitches. - 15/06/2009 00:39 - United States

Today, I was walking by a bunch of pretty girls. I'm not the most attractive boy, so I walked by nervously. I heard one yell, "Hey cutie!" I turned to look, and they started laughing. She said, "Oh my god, sorry! I assumed you were cute from your butt!" Apparently, my ass is nicer than my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 472

You deserved it 3 449

Could be useful in the right circumstances

By ThisIsYourDoc - 18/08/2023 14:00 - Switzerland - Bern

Today, I finished the rather expensive Arabic language course I have been taking for about 6 months. I still can't hold a conversation, but I can now say, "May Allah give you a headache and you are stuck in Beirut's traffic for two hours." FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 158

By Marie - 27/07/2010 07:46 - Canada

Today, I was walking towards a group of guys playing basketball, who stopped and stared at me while saying, "Daaaamn..." As I passed them, one of them said, "She looked hotter from a distance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 253

You deserved it 5 165

By Anonymous - 29/04/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double Ds you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 893

You deserved it 97 279

Speaking in Welsh can cause this too

By Anonymous - 26/12/2021 21:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I was harassed repeatedly by other passengers during my flight for speaking Arabic and sounding aggressive. I was in no way being aggressive, and I had to speak Arabic because it's the only language my mother-in-law speaks. Such a fuss was made, I did end up being questioned by TSA. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 445

You deserved it 181

By SadisticSatire - 11/10/2009 01:04 - United States

Today, I went to work to find two new beautiful trainees. I thought maybe I might be able to hook up with one of them, so I walk up and flash my blue eyes and begin to act like a gentleman. Not five minutes into our conversation the girls ask me if there are any cute guys working here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 324

You deserved it 39 904

By kaleigh - 31/05/2011 17:01 - United States

Today, as I was walking out of a restaurant with my boyfriend, I saw some guys checking me out. One of them walked up to my boyfriend and said, "Dude, you and your girlfriend have matching moustaches!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 804

You deserved it 10 197

References

By Anonymous - 31/07/2023 06:00

Today, I was talking to a smokin' hot Cuban sorority girl. She told me her mom only speaks Spanish, so she translates for her. Without thinking I said, "Oh like Chewbacca and Han Solo?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 994

sleepless15_p 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 23:58

I hate people who tell secrets in public and insult people with a different language. You should have freaked out on those assholes.

effmailyfe 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 23:59

You should have made some comment about small penises. Or something...

Comments

honkodeler 0

Friday 27 March 2009 2:18

since you have nice ****, you'll be fine. girls with big boobs always are.

nikkireese 0

Friday 27 March 2009 2:20

#59 very uncool. joke or not.

nikkireese 0

Friday 27 March 2009 2:24

. . . . racist prick. (#59) yea, OP should have def responded in arabic.

isuckatlife12 0

Friday 27 March 2009 2:31

thats just rude... you should have totally said somthing

cyberhoy 3

Friday 27 March 2009 2:33

never underestimate nice ****

lilblonde93 0

Friday 27 March 2009 2:35

awww you should have turned to them and said something back in arabic like.. yeah i was thinking the same about you :)

katcher06 0

Friday 27 March 2009 2:37

i agree with number 4 and number 2!! and ya nice **** can go way further than a cute face!! lol

funkycloud7137 0

Friday 27 March 2009 2:38

you're not special, guys say that all the time. But congrats on the great knockers!

neonoodle 0

Friday 27 March 2009 2:39

#59: You're a ******* idiot. You can't hide behind moronic comments with "Oh, it's just a joke."

FurryFireFox 0

Friday 27 March 2009 2:43

You should've turned around and said "Yeah, well you're not too easy on the eyes either, asshole" in Araibic...or something...

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Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 654

You deserved it 6 224

Today, while I was working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good… you left a nipple." and slowly licked it off. FML

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I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 412

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I agree, your life sucks 41 582

You deserved it 2 548

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I agree, your life sucks 1 497

You deserved it 241

Today, from my girlfriend of five years, I got my clothes back, my engagment ring and a card that says, "Merry Christmas! It's me not you." FML

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You deserved it 2 592