Miscellaneous: Today, I was talking on my mobile and walking into a grocery...

By Insensitive - 15/04/2009 16:17 - United States

Today, I was talking on my mobile and walking into a grocery store saying, quite loudly, "Time heals all wounds!" right as I passed a woman with significant burns covering her face. I guess I was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 426

You deserved it 53 599

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Same thing different taste

By Not So Smart - 23/07/2010 23:47 - Canada

Today, I went to the mall. While shopping in a store, a woman bumped into me numerous times. Getting annoyed, I turned to her and loudly exclaimed, "Are you blind?!" Turns out she was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 583

You deserved it 48 023

Threatening

By supersplatoon - 08/09/2015 23:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was walking down the street when someone started yelling at me, saying I was dead. I bolted, ran into a pole and when they caught up to me, said "Oh, wrong person." and walked off, leaving me bruised on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 076

You deserved it 2 705

By absentmindedmoron - 27/09/2009 15:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking whilst texting. I thought I was going in a straight line but I ended up walking right into an open phone booth. A woman was inside making a phone call. I lost my balance, pinning her up against the wall. She thought I was attacking her and clobbered me with the receiver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 552

You deserved it 51 554

By Lucas79 - 08/10/2011 01:23 - Australia

Today, I was walking down the street on my way to work, when an old lady's walking stick caught my leg and sent me crashing to the ground. She apologised for the accident and watched me stumble to my feet. I said not to worry. Just as I turned to leave, I could swear a smirk crept over her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 249

You deserved it 3 437

Lawyer up

By gnofin - 22/03/2016 21:23 - United States

Today, I was walking out of a grocery store. I hit the button on my key to open the trunk, which hit an old lady just under her chin and knocked her to the ground. As she laid there, she pointed a shaky, bony finger at me and yelled that she would sue me for everything I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 558

You deserved it 3 044

By Crawlinginmymemes - 02/10/2016 18:46 - United States - Danvers

Today, I accidentally shut the door on someone who was walking behind me. After he opened the door, I turned, looked him sincerely in the eye and said, "Suffering". I meant to say sorry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 967

You deserved it 2 005

Are you OK?

By Anonymous - 24/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I walked into a glass door at a busy mall. Not only did I face-plant in front of a crowd, but I also left an almost perfect imprint of my face on the glass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 146

By poop - 18/05/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 630

You deserved it 19 524

She definitely heard

By Anonymous - 09/09/2021 02:00

Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 1 431

By notarobber - 15/05/2013 07:20 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 712

You deserved it 10 115

jgardner12 0

Wednesday 15 April 2009 22:56

Big whoop, you were talking on the phone. If she cared she can **** off.

katherinebby17 28

Wednesday 15 April 2009 22:54

that's not really a big deal you didn't know she had burns

Comments

Pounce 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 1:15

"I guess I was wrong." You're pathetic.

BeanieBaby 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 1:52

Why did YOU post this? This is a FML for the burn lady!!

alex_vik 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 2:03

YDI, I hate people who talk LOUDLY ON THEIR CELL PHONES. YOU DON'T NEED TO YELL BECAUSE IT'S A CELL PHONE. PEOPLE CAN HEAR YOU QUITE CLEARLY. Ok?

HeyitsPheddy 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 2:11

Who the hell says mobile instead of cell phone?

mrmango 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 2:30

Why is this kind of situation considered funny in society? People accept explanations, otherwise they fail. Nuff said.

kika_fml 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 2:31

YDI for using a trite platitude.

eleanor_rigby 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 2:30

She probably didn't hear you.

eleanor_rigby 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 2:31

She probably didn't hear you, or even make that same connection.

Dave010897 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 2:41

how is that a ******* FML? ???????

xCaiteyCurbstomp 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 2:54

who calls it a mobile?

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Embarrassing Awkward Health Love Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic

The Top

Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 346

You deserved it 403

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 189

You deserved it 11 246

The Top

Today, my mom decided to show me her new rape whistle. She kept blowing it every couple of minutes while we were stuck in traffic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 689

You deserved it 1 521

Today, I got invited to a big upperclassmen party that underclassmen don't normally get invited to. I was feeling really good when I got there and saw that the girl I'm in love with was there. They stole my pants and gave me a swirly. Her reaction was to post pictures on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 558

You deserved it 6 121

Today, I went back to my flat after a night on the town and staying at my girlfriend's. My flat was flooded. I had been sick in the sink and left the tap on all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 337

You deserved it 24 863

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 310

You deserved it 7 115

Today, I woke up with a fever, headache and sore throat. All the symptoms of Covid-19. I told my husband, whose responded with, "Sack up and get over yourself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 201

Today, marks the two weeks since my paycheck should have arrived. During these two weeks, my battery has failed, tire has blown, and my phone and water bill have become past due. When I called the guy who's supposed to pay me, he said he has a note about it "somewhere on my desk". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 825

You deserved it 2 309