Intimacy: Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone. The subject...

By Fucked - 24/01/2011 22:47 - United States

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone. The subject of abuse came up and I told her that if her father ever hurt her I would cut his dick off. The next thing I hear is, "Don't say shit you can't back up!" Her father had picked up the phone the moment I'd said it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 775

You deserved it 13 740

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/03/2015 08:55 - United Kingdom - Aberdeen

Today, I overheard my dickhead dad telling my girlfriend she's too good for me, then asking if she wants to settle for someone like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 955

You deserved it 2 660

You have been warned

By PUA - 15/03/2012 01:06 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 333

You deserved it 6 601

By Anonymous - 22/05/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 586

You deserved it 47 217

By unbelievable208 - 05/08/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 652

You deserved it 86 720

By fucklife - 16/04/2013 18:13 - United States - Washington

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 542

You deserved it 5 210

By rowie1311 - 27/03/2011 18:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 587

You deserved it 31 059

By BlackPolarbear - 23/01/2010 08:05 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 133

You deserved it 29 773

By kill me - 30/09/2018 03:00

Today, my dad overheard me and my girlfriend having a very personal conversation. His response was to burst into the room and ground me for a month for failing to get her to orgasm the last 3 times we had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 927

You deserved it 2 430

Love and threats

By soontobedumped - 15/01/2012 19:26 - United States

Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 886

You deserved it 4 880

By crazyt446 - 11/07/2009 15:13 - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend and when he answered, I said the dirtiest thing I could think of to him on the phone. After a long silence, I heard, "Lacey? Is that you?" I accidentally called my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 470

You deserved it 71 654

Doortje 29

Tuesday 25 January 2011 8:56

If he didn't abuse her, shouldn't he be glad his daughter's boyfriend is -in a weird and somewhat violent way- looking out for her?

singer4life666 0

Tuesday 25 January 2011 8:51

I guess you aren't going over there ever.

Comments

mort1818 0

Tuesday 25 January 2011 11:42

do it

DarkHelmet 10

Tuesday 25 January 2011 11:59

Aw Yeah!!! Time to nut up or shut up my friend!!!

aznmex21 3

Tuesday 25 January 2011 12:33

i'd egg him on and prove a point :)

joa76 3

Tuesday 25 January 2011 12:51

I'm sure the girlfriend would really appreciate that...

stevenmx86 7

Tuesday 25 January 2011 12:49

That's where you say "Who says I can't *sound of knife against sharpener*" Besides, unless she was worried about him abusing her, which this doesn't state, why would you even say that?

joa76 3

Tuesday 25 January 2011 12:53

That's what I was just about to say (no one seems to have mentioned it yet). I know some people can come up with lots of hypothetical stuff, but that's the sort of thing that usually comes up for a reason. If she really does have any reason to worry about her dad abusing her, this isn't so much an FYL as an FHL, especially since he probably wasn't too happy about what he overheard.

jakiwi 0

Tuesday 25 January 2011 12:52

wrong place at the wrong time man,but at least you care about your girlfriend?Lol.

TheXTG8680 0

Tuesday 25 January 2011 13:18

Unless your name is Cloud Strife and you are carrying a sword 7' in length and 3' in width, you just dun goofed! Prepare to get Sonned Up!

thegoodlife101 0

Tuesday 25 January 2011 13:29

what her dad didnt realize is that your lorena bobbits brother....

ulicksam 0

Tuesday 25 January 2011 13:49

And then big bad you hung up the phone and cowered in the corner, crying for your mommy. Dickweed.

MustangMan29 13

Tuesday 25 January 2011 14:40

so, what is he gonna do ? Nothing is the correct answer.

LilaBear 1

Tuesday 25 January 2011 14:51

Idiot. Her father probably says the same thing about you. Why were you making such awful suggestions about him anyway, unless he actually is abusing her? In which case I think you would have made that a bit more definite in your FML.