Miscellaneous: Today, I was told by my girlfriend that in the thralls of my...

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 20:21 - United States

Today, I was told by my girlfriend that in the thralls of my drunken haze last night, I tried to French-kiss her mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 401

You deserved it 37 703

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Same thing different taste

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By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 20:00

Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 297

By Vince - 09/12/2011 19:38 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 068

You deserved it 3 238

By Anonymous - 23/04/2012 05:50 - United States - Harrison

Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 154

You deserved it 2 101

By Anonymous - 15/05/2013 20:21 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 675

You deserved it 4 572

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 922

You deserved it 6 674

By hugme101 - 20/12/2010 00:20 - Canada

Today, after a long time convincing my parents that my boyfriend is really a good guy, not only did he decide to come by the house completely drunk, but he also ended up trying to kiss my mom, thinking it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 098

You deserved it 9 707

By dantko - 01/01/2014 05:04 - United States - Dearborn

Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 112

You deserved it 5 317

By H-B - 28/04/2009 08:53 - United States

Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 603

You deserved it 88 959

By jimbop - 23/05/2009 17:48 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 920

You deserved it 10 325

By Anonymous - 20/10/2015 09:44 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 824

You deserved it 3 657

geepc 3

Saturday 15 January 2011 23:43

haha oh dear OP.. maybe ease off on the alcohol if you can't handle it to prevent future embarrassment?

DncrHap 9

Saturday 15 January 2011 23:42

pssh. what's the problem? two girls with one bone!

Comments

aback 4

Sunday 16 January 2011 0:57

Better give it up. Next you'll be Greeking her dad.

ericahippiechick 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 0:58

What did she say to that?:/

spyder1588 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 1:36

Yeah maybe you should cut down on the drinking....

Alanah101 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 1:37

eww lol.

CaptainJ1000 1

Sunday 16 January 2011 2:27

Let her know the offer is still on the table.

SirEBC 7

Sunday 16 January 2011 3:34

Too much drinking=bad.

peace_sign 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 4:11

atleast you didn't try to french-kiss her dad!!

BeachSurfer94 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 4:30

ya know there is this one show where they do a simialar thing. which would probably explain his absence

Wheredidgrungego 12

Sunday 16 January 2011 4:58

Been there, done that! Oh wait you said mom...

SweetTyB 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 5:03

You had the hots for moms before you were drunk.

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Today, since I've been enduring a sore throat, I got Chloraseptic lozenges to finally get a bit of relief. When I put one in my mouth, I nearly choked on it. Imagine that: trying to soothe your throat, and you almost die by accidentally obstructing it instead. The irony almost hurts even more than my throat does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 121

Today, as punishment for a prank, my girlfriend has banned all forms of sex, kissing, or touching for the foreseeable future. She’s also started stripping as soon as she gets home and walking around in just her thong, or sometimes even completely naked, just to make my suffering worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 2 517

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Today, I'm planning a long awaited trip to Australia to see family I haven't seen since before the pandemic. I use CBD for pain, and everything I've read contradicts itself. I have no idea if I can take it with me, buy it there, or have to get a prescription or whatever. I guess I'm going to be in pain the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 187

Today, I found out my boyfriend of 5 years has been cheating on me with a Realtor. The same Realtor who helped me sell my condo so I could move in with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 185

You deserved it 3 026

Today, I was detained for trying to "illegally enter" my house, all because my parents forgot to tell me they were being evicted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 978

You deserved it 1 686

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy. I used to be her college professor and I’d given up my career of 22 years, my wife and kids, and my house in Boca Raton just for her. Nice to know this is the thanks I get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 3 185

Today, I was deceived into a contract to "edit" porn. It was sick, disgusting material which stirred up all my sexual-abuse-survivor issues and made me retch. When I went to my husband to tell him what happened, his only comment was "Is it hot?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 667

You deserved it 579

Today, I briefed a developer to delete 57 email accounts. I sent the wrong screenshots; those were the ones the client asked to stay active. The clients now don't have access to their emails until the account gets restored. I feel like crawling into a hole and dying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 1 237

Same thing different taste

Tasty

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