Love: Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s... - FML

By cjk004 - 15/02/2009 11:35 - United States

Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 759

You deserved it 6 623

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 15/01/2013 00:21 - Canada - Corner Brook

Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 588

You deserved it 3 435

By Anonymous - 24/07/2009 19:06 - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my friend when I saw my boyfriend in Victoria's Secret - with another girl. They were joking and laughing, and I was really pissed off. So I stormed into the store and slapped him. He looked up at me with an angry and confused expression. It wasn't my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 876

You deserved it 91 363

Just in case

By thanksbaby - 01/06/2009 05:55 - United States

Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling in bed talking about our future wedding coming up. He leaned over seductively to tell me he got a present for me to ‘use’ on our wedding day. It was a pack of breath mints. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 998

You deserved it 11 578

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 092

You deserved it 40 037

By splitzville - 16/03/2010 20:12 - United States

Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 963

You deserved it 40 870

By "BunnysKitty" - 15/09/2017 23:15

Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 060

You deserved it 894

Nice boxers

By Harmonia - 26/01/2009 10:09 - France

Today, I went shopping with my boyfriend. He tried on a pair of trousers which didn't fit, so he asked me to change them, so off I went. I returned with another pair for him to try on, found him bent over and blurted out, "What's with the terrible underwear?" I'd entered the wrong changing room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 871

You deserved it 9 545

By singleladynow - 20/01/2011 05:04 - United States

Today, I bought something special at Victoria's Secret, then sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic for 2 hours to get to my boyfriend's house. When I got there, he broke up with me. We're 37 years old and he actually gave me the "it's not you, it's me" speech. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 377

You deserved it 3 408

By sarajj - 29/03/2013 21:36 - United States - Littleton

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 688

You deserved it 9 296

By Anonymous - 10/02/2011 20:06 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 364

You deserved it 12 713

Next

Top comments

lemonkid44 0

Sunday 15 February 2009 16:45

NEVER come between a man and his gum.

EFFyourlifecait 0

Sunday 15 February 2009 16:53

im sorry, but that just made my day.

Comments

Schazam 0

Tuesday 30 March 2010 21:55

It was a butterfinger dammit.

Missdorkydork797 0

Saturday 19 June 2010 0:49

Ydi for asking for gum

iCreate 10

Saturday 19 June 2010 21:15

He must be gay, no other explanation...

iownyou777 0

Thursday 15 July 2010 15:33

I'll give u some gum...

Tyrone_Hawkins16 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 12:35

What kinda gum was it

CableX17 0

Friday 27 August 2010 17:01

You fail at thinking thoughts.

taylortot973 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 22:06

or she's ugly.

chrisamagod 0

Sunday 5 September 2010 11:16

i have to agree with #50

whiteboy77 0

Friday 24 September 2010 0:27

u obv have no sense of humor

egga94 0

Saturday 23 October 2010 4:26

smart man, once you show your girl she cant manipulate you sexually she will follow you like a lost puppy for gratification. ;)

3
4
5
6
7
8

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my husband decided to flash me while I was on a video call, so my clients announced they would only work with professionals, and ended the call. I was giving a virtual showing of a £1.2 million house they were thinking of buying. At 6% commission, my husband's junk just cost us £72,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 406

You deserved it 276

Today, a friend and I tell each other everything about our relationships, and we’ve been flirting for two years, but we’re not together. I started to have feelings for him, but I didn’t say anything, then the guy started to disappear and I don't know if he has an avoidant attachment, or he's just ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 495

The Top

Today, as I passed a printout over my shoulder to my mum, I managed to give myself a papercut on my tear duct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 661

You deserved it 2 699

Today, I went out for dinner with my crush and expressed my love for her. She responded by saying that we should know that this is the real thing, and to do so we needed to date other people and let time bring us together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 105

Today, my daughter came crying to me that her boyfriend cheated on her. I'd like to comfort her, if it weren't for the fact that she manipulated him into cheating on his previous girlfriend with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 301

Today, and for the last six months, I've been on a medication that greatly improves the main symptoms of my chronic illness. Too bad it also gives me chronic diarrhea. I feel much better and can function better than I have since my teens, but I haven't taken a solid dump in half a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 004

You deserved it 86

Today, I sent in a fake story to a website that supports a yearly festival in my small town, thinking it would boost their spirits. It was how my boyfriend proposed to me at last year's festival. Now the local news station wants to do a story about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 849

You deserved it 81 114

Today, I went to the emergency room with chest pain. I didn't have a heart attack, but I now have a broken nose after passing out and face-planting in the waiting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 846

You deserved it 2 102