Animals: Today, I was walking my dog around my neighborhood, when I saw...

By psh_idontbite - 13/03/2015 03:55 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog around my neighborhood, when I saw this really cute boy. My dog then saw a squirrel and dragged me through mud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 717

You deserved it 3 558

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Fresh air

By Ceecee - 22/03/2023 04:00 - United States

Today, I took my dog for a walk in the park. I was enjoying the fresh air until my dog spotted a squirrel and took off running. I ended up getting dragged through the mud and had to walk home covered in dirt and scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 593

You deserved it 242

By RENThead - 13/09/2015 19:02 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was walking down a path in the woods behind my house when I saw a squirrel. It ran away, but little did I know it wasn't running from me, it was running from the dog that had forced Animal Control to sweep the area. I ended up with stitches in my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 865

You deserved it 1 606

Dog park blues

By Anonymous - 29/06/2024 20:00 - Canada

Today, while dogsitting for a friend, I took their overly excitable dog to the park. The moment I unleashed him, he bolted, and I ended up chasing him for what felt like miles. When I finally caught him, I was covered in mud and my pants had a huge tear in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 656

By Sid - 10/04/2011 00:58 - United States

Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 702

You deserved it 41 771

By fmlman - 15/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Rawlins

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 384

You deserved it 6 389

By mraow123 - 30/05/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 394

You deserved it 4 660

Smooth

By Anonymous - 16/04/2023 12:00 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, I was out for a jog when I saw my ex-boyfriend walking towards me. I tried to duck behind a tree to avoid him, but I slipped on a plastic bag and fell into a lovely patch of mud. He saw the whole thing and walked away smirking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 545

By gera3gera - 07/10/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 810

You deserved it 4 128

Good boy

By Anonymous - 06/10/2023 19:30 - Canada

Today, I took my dog to the park. It had recently rained, and he started rolling in something unidentifiable. When I got home, I discovered it was a mixture of mud and who knows what else. Now my house smells like a swamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 269

By chris - 09/06/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, I was walking my new dog and saw this girl that I've had a crush on for months. When I approached her, I tried to look 'macho' with my dog. However my dog thought it would be more attractive to pee on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 867

You deserved it 10 786

giantsfan2010 23

Friday 13 March 2015 18:42

Now neither of you got any nuts :(

Fuaaad1994 31

Friday 13 March 2015 18:43

Maybe the guy likes his girls dirty...

Comments

sybe112 14

Friday 13 March 2015 20:28

well, atleast you got his attention. .

Aspen_Grace33 27

Friday 13 March 2015 20:30

Your dog was just trying to give you a topic with which to break the ice!!!

mattrd_fml 31

Friday 13 March 2015 20:50

I hope the cute guy helped you and this ended up in your favor!

riptor911 10

Friday 13 March 2015 21:13

But did you get the squirrel?

MusicAndCuddling 10

Friday 13 March 2015 22:30

Go lesbian bro. It's great

Calingaladha 21

Friday 13 March 2015 22:45

This happened to me once when I was a kid, except I was dragged through a forest, pine needles, cones and all. I sympathize.

rush1001 4

Friday 13 March 2015 22:54

At least it wasn't poop my horse drug me thourgh poop

zeemonster424 15

Saturday 14 March 2015 3:32

Oh come on, that sound like the start of a cheesy Romantic Comedy! It still has potential to work out.

Deadman_walking 9

Saturday 14 March 2015 4:27

It was all bad timing

badgercheese94 16

Saturday 14 March 2015 6:00

cuz of the boy was ugly it would not matter :D

Keywords

DIY Cats Miscellaneous Family Poopoo peepee Work Management Awkward Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Am I overreacting? Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Love Dating Mental health Anxiety Technology Health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 639

You deserved it 1 196

Today, my boss is going nuts after some coworkers quit, as they were some of the lucky few with enough cash to move away ahead of whatever dumbass plan the next administration has for their immigrant families and friends. My boss is complaining he can't afford to pay "normal people wages" and wants me to work overtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 166

The Top

Today, I was swimming in a public pool, and I felt a tug on my swimming trunks. It was my grandma snorkeling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 740

You deserved it 1 224

Today, after lecturing my daughter about being responsible with her money, she got a package from Amazon. What was in it? A lamp shaped like toast. She already has a lamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 677

You deserved it 213

Today, I was turned down for a job because they thought I lied about having a six-month internship. Why? The secretary I told off for stealing my lunch every single day told them she hadn't heard of me, and the new company won't listen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 597

You deserved it 305

Today, I met my ex's new boyfriend. I was at work, cashiering at the movie theater that they were apparently having their first date at. We broke up less than 24 hours ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 825

You deserved it 2 632

Today, I told my boyfriend that it's time for him to stop blaming others and own up to his mistakes. He retorted, "Don't blame me!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 408

You deserved it 3 847

Today, after battling for hours to get just a little sleep before my early morning work shift, I finally began drifting off. Then I got the worst attack of hiccups in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 693

You deserved it 2 824