Intimacy: Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped...

By Noname - 17/03/2009 10:16 - United States

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 655

You deserved it 211 407

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Same thing different taste

By ohcrap - 02/06/2011 10:05 - United States

Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 252

You deserved it 36 394

Christmas shopping

By Anonymous - 26/12/2019 20:00

Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 305

You deserved it 225

By notmydad. - 08/05/2010 10:07 - Philippines

Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 251

You deserved it 3 674

By pizzafreak18 - 21/06/2010 14:21 - United States

Today, I went into the store where my boyfriend works. I saw him talking to a customer, his back was facing me, so I went up and smacked his butt. Turns out it wasn't him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 073

You deserved it 54 975

By imaginationdarling - 13/05/2014 23:42 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was at my retail job and we had to change the mannequin's outfit. I had to hold her while my manager grabbed the new outfit. I rested my head on her naked plastic chest, and it was the closest I've got to affection in years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 493

You deserved it 7 264

By grabber - 09/08/2009 23:43 - United States

Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 356

You deserved it 11 009

By Anonymous - 24/07/2009 19:06 - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my friend when I saw my boyfriend in Victoria's Secret - with another girl. They were joking and laughing, and I was really pissed off. So I stormed into the store and slapped him. He looked up at me with an angry and confused expression. It wasn't my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 876

You deserved it 91 363

Classic move

By Anonymous - 01/04/2022 20:00 - Canada - Saint-jérôme

Today, I walked up to my friend and slapped her ass, because that’s what we always do. Turns out, it wasn’t my friend, it was a total stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 1 211

By anon - 05/04/2017 04:00

Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 705

You deserved it 756

By Anonymous - 23/01/2010 08:05 - United States

Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 856

You deserved it 4 480

dammn 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 20:02

HAHAHAHAHAHAH , smooth . did she slap you back ?

amirn86 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 20:03

How do you not realize that someone is alive LOL Ditto #1

Comments

meadmaker 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 20:18

seriously, you can def. tell a real person from a plastic one. better get them contacts back on.

Gaston_fml 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 20:18

Can'T you tell? WTF? You deserved it

WendlaMimi 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 20:18

If I were your girlfriend, I would have broken up with you for being an idiot. How is it possible to not tell the difference between a mannequin and a real person? Here are a few helpful hints for the future: 1. People who are alive generally move in some way. 2. Mannequins are very rarely the color of actual flesh. Most are white, and some are exotic colors, like blue or pink. 3. If you see someone striking a pose, and not moving (or breathing), chances are it's a mannequin. 4. If the person is not elevated off the ground, chances are he or she is not a mannequin.

Creamysweeps 5

Wednesday 15 June 2011 5:32

if he's behind her how would he be able to tell if she's breathing or not? and hello, maybe the only thing he was staring at was her ass... so he couldn't tell if she was moving or not.