Miscellaneous: Today, I was walking through my house when I noticed bits of...

By swirkishly - 24/11/2011 16:06 - United States

Today, I was walking through my house when I noticed bits of plaster falling from the ceiling. Against all logic, I looked up, receiving a fragment directly in the eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 992

You deserved it 10 012

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Same thing different taste

By Hayleey_079 - 18/02/2010 14:22 - United Kingdom

Today, a picture fell off of the wall in the middle of the night. It hit me smack bang in the middle of face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 040

You deserved it 3 768

By yuck - 15/11/2011 14:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 022

You deserved it 17 427

By BloodyNoseMcgee - 11/10/2018 15:30

Today, I dropped some glass at my job while putting it on the shelf. A shard bounced off the floor and went up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 998

You deserved it 181

Good morning

By Elliot - 22/07/2010 15:10 - United Kingdom

Today, I lifted up my blinds, only for them to detach from the wall, hit me on the head, knock a pile of paper over, spill a can of Pepsi, leave plaster all over the floor and a gaping hole in the wall above my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 153

You deserved it 4 334

Thanks guys

By Anonymous - 29/04/2009 00:05 - Canada

Today, I was walking into my living room when I slipped over the carpet, bashed my head on my glass table, and was moaning in pain on the floor. My parents came running when they heard my head bang… straight to the table, to see if there were any scratches on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 128

You deserved it 3 238

Blinded

By Anonymous - 25/03/2022 18:00

Today, I had a lightbulb over my head moment, by which I mean I was changing a blown bulb, which smashed, and I’m now half blind waiting for the surgery to remove the minuscule and yet still excruciating shards of glass from my right eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 109

Protein source

By Anonymous - 13/08/2021 17:01 - United States - Chicago

Today, a gnat hit my forehead, fell into the space between my glasses and my face, and bounced off my eye while trying desperately to escape. When I tried to get my glasses off, it fell into my mask instead, and I accidentally inhaled it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 157

Headshot

By Anonymous - 26/07/2021 14:01

Today, I was putting on my sweatpants and accidentally stepped on the elastic drawstring. I moved my foot. The string snapped upward with great speed and hit me in my open eye. My eyeball is not happy with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 119

By Michael - 25/10/2011 15:00 - Australia

Today, while taking pills for a headache, I threw my head back to help get the pills down, and in the process, whacked it against the brick windowsill behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 935

You deserved it 15 637

Open door policy

By Luke Sparacio - 24/11/2023 00:00

Today, while we were exploring a building, my dad and I somehow got separated. After about 30 seconds, I found him on the other side of a door, so I went to go through what I thought was a door. Instead, I smashed my head on a windowpane and collapsed to the floor in pain in front of 5 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 197

Keyman1212 14

Thursday 24 November 2011 19:04

And then your 800lb aunt fell on you from the second story bathroom, where she was receiving a sponge bath from midgets.

j_cat187 19

Thursday 24 November 2011 19:03

Ceilings are bastards

Comments

ZielZone 4

Thursday 24 November 2011 23:16

Have to agree with the first responder... DOH!!! Dumbass

Honestly_Lainey 21

Thursday 24 November 2011 23:53

If you found out what was making the plaster fall, it was worth it. If not, well...

JinxosGirl87 0

Friday 25 November 2011 0:04

Ceiling Cat was renovating! :)

Arxikist 3

Friday 25 November 2011 0:05

Dickeye.

chels1994 11

Friday 25 November 2011 0:32

Even though it is against all logic, I can imagine myself doing the exact same

KirbyisEPIC 0

Friday 25 November 2011 1:45

Good job.....you're so smart!

jackassiddy 8

Friday 25 November 2011 1:52

Don't feel bad OP. Turkeys look up when it rains for so long that they'll drown.. I doubt you're that dumb..

jackassiddy 8

Friday 25 November 2011 1:57

You weren't very good in baseball were you?

False_Stupidity 41

Friday 25 November 2011 2:29

Do you live in Paris? 'cause you certainly got an eyeful.

BiGaL12343 7

Friday 25 November 2011 2:31

Curiosity killed the cat sir, everone needs to lick a battery when the oppertunity comes up! Also can someone please PM me with the meaning on OP?!

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The Top

Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly been going through all of his emails, including the ones I've sent him with "sexy" pictures attached. I can't look his parents in the eye without being reminded that they've both seen me naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 300

You deserved it 14 749

Today, my mom kicked me out of the house because I missed my curfew and overslept at my boyfriend’s house. She said she’d let me back in on one condition: that I was still a virgin. My boyfriend’s parents won’t let me live with him. I’m currently staying in the Walmart restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 315

The Top

Today, I was given my marching orders because I corrected my supervisor on something he was actually doing wrong. It seems I deserve this for "not learning to obey my immediate superiors." FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 126

Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the N-word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 624

You deserved it 9 212

Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 339

You deserved it 26 877

Today, I learned that when my partner says, "Let's cuddle up, watch something and spend the night together," he means ,"I'm gonna wank and fall asleep at 8.30 with my phone playing videos." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 153

You deserved it 188

Today, at the restaurant, my boyfriend told his parents that we were going to get married. They pretended not to hear and had a discussion about the contents of their plates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 55

Today, I tried thinking of the best way to kill myself without leaving my body intact enough for people to continue to judge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 416

You deserved it 425