Health: Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me...

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By unknown - 12/06/2013 17:33 - United States - Tulare

Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 011

You deserved it 4 486

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/06/2019 20:00

Today, I was walking on the street when a woman in front of me dropped a couple of dollars. I picked them up and chased her to return it all. She insisted that it wasn't hers. I tried to tell her it was, but she wouldn't accept it. A cop saw me and arrested me for solicitation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 997

You deserved it 195

By pinkrazrgirl247 - 03/07/2009 06:29 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 443

You deserved it 52 232

Grab it while you can

By Arabian_Soap - 31/05/2021 16:01 - Australia - Mermaid Beach

Today, I was walking through a rich part of the city and saw 2 dollars on the ground. I didn't pick it so people wouldn't think I was poor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 1 209

Smooth criminal

By Anonymous - 28/04/2012 01:55 - United States - Darien

Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 677

You deserved it 2 581

Lovesick

By oops - 18/05/2009 08:45 - United States

Today, I was working at my job as cashier. This really attractive girl who often comes in walked in, so I mustered up the courage to ask her out by writing my number on a dollar bill. She paid and the amount her change happened to be a dollar. I go to hand her the money when she sees it and says, "Keep the change!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 342

You deserved it 18 173

Cool your jets, lady

By all puked out - 13/07/2014 21:14 - Netherlands

Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 802

You deserved it 4 342

By SilverAuthor - 29/07/2016 22:53 - United States - Detroit

Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 357

You deserved it 2 073

By anon - 16/02/2014 12:56 - Australia - Kingston

Today, I needed to borrow money from my girlfriend. I went into her bag and pulled out the money all while a lady watched me open-mouthed. Turns out it wasn't my girlfriend's bag. It belonged to the lady watching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 507

You deserved it 20 197

Check these out

By doubleds - 03/06/2009 19:39 - Canada

Today, I was buying an expensive pillow for my mother from a store clerk who wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. After paying, I saw an elderly lady who had dropped a bag, so I walked to help. I walked back to the clerk, who refused to believe I paid. The reason? He didn't recognize my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 547

You deserved it 5 685

By dude - 24/03/2009 20:52 - United States

Today, I was walking downtown when a bum approached me for some change. I planned to give a couple dollars but after pulling out my wallet exposing my cash, the bum beat me unconscious. The bum is a 5'0" tall woman; I'm a 6'2" male out $200. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 147

You deserved it 34 277

CammyGal 26

Thursday 13 June 2013 0:07

And this problem couldn't be fixed with a simple explanation?

cmayer 20

Thursday 13 June 2013 0:08

I don't know how people can be so presumptuous.

Comments

SweetJTBR 22

Thursday 13 June 2013 0:14

Well, you tried to be nice and hopefully kept the money as a reward for facing this woman. Sounds like a win to me! c:

Pikawhore 21

Thursday 13 June 2013 0:14

Since it was her money, it would be free sex!

dantee2005 33

Thursday 13 June 2013 0:27

R u really a *****? Like ur name

golden_warrior 23

Thursday 13 June 2013 0:35

Shouldn't that make OP the prostitute?

Kc1001 14

Thursday 13 June 2013 0:15

And she didn't notice that she was dropping money?

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Thursday 13 June 2013 6:53

No, she didn't. That's kind of why OP was trying to return it...

petshark 4

Thursday 13 June 2013 0:19

Well.. Don't flatter yourself, lady!

imwagdc 15

Thursday 13 June 2013 0:20

Well did she want to accept? Because if she started stripping down that could've been even more awkward

zandalee 19

Thursday 13 June 2013 0:23

Well, she thinks she's all that and a box of crackers...

PaigeLeeAnn11 23

Thursday 13 June 2013 0:24

Looks like you got some free money.

Eivana 37

Thursday 13 June 2013 0:26

She must be an idiot.

Jac_d_ipper 10

Thursday 13 June 2013 0:26

How was she in bed? I am sure you made most out of the situation.

WhatIsMyLife1997 4

Thursday 13 June 2013 0:29

This is the best way you could think of to stop people finding out a prostitute rejected you? Awh honey...

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The Top

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865 156

You deserved it 95 063

Today, sick of the unfiltered noise we hear from our neighbours in our upstairs apartment, as we're above their fence line, we signed the lease on an apartment downstairs. While I was downstairs, my partner clomped upstairs, opened the bathroom door, and took a piss. I heard EVERYTHING. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 333

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 679

You deserved it 415

Today, I asked my husband to deal with the very large spider in our kitchen. Rather than a newspaper or a slipper, he went after it with an aerosol can and a lighter. The spider is now dead, but so are the wall and cupboards in my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 588

You deserved it 700

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 328

You deserved it 5 231

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I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 319

Today, I went to the ice cream shop after dinner. I am deathly allergic to nuts so I picked the vanilla. I take one bite and feel something crunchy, and see what I thought was an almond in the cup. I spit out the icecream in a panic. Good news? It wasn't an almond. Bad news? It was a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 563

You deserved it 2 626

Today, I was both sexting with my girlfriend and texting my professor about an upcoming essay. I accidentally sent a dickpic to my professor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 391

You deserved it 40 099