Kids: Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get...

By WickedRene - 02/08/2014 01:57 - United States - Rochester

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 941

You deserved it 8 226

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/03/2013 01:13 - United States - Sunnyvale

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 203

You deserved it 18 846

By lifesucks4me - 23/02/2009 12:51 - United States

Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says, "You're a bitch." He's 6. After I asked him where he heard that word, he responded with, "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 161 005

You deserved it 13 790

By bigbro - 06/09/2016 08:05 - Australia - Southbank

Today, I was babysitting my 6-year-old brother and was playing Mario. When I won, he called me a cunt. I was in shock and asked him where he learnt the word. He said from me when I was driving. He then told my mum that I taught him a new word. Easy to say, I'm in big trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 369

You deserved it 4 978

Little shit

By moneyman22 - 01/03/2010 19:09 - United States

Today, I was asked to take care of my 3 year-old little brother. After 15 minutes of him screaming and me trying to keep him entertained, he started throwing his toy cars at me. He hit me in the mouth, and I started to bleed. My parents yelled at me for "not controlling him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 478

You deserved it 3 966

By jessi - 02/12/2011 13:22 - United States

Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 152

You deserved it 6 675

By Alex - 26/03/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 197

You deserved it 76 850

Ungrateful

By Anonymous - 12/10/2020 14:08

Today, my three-year-old told me he hates me cause I’m mean because I wouldn’t give him another cupcake. Now he is calling his grandma his new mommy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 107

You deserved it 174

By ElamentalAngel - 06/05/2009 17:04 - United Kingdom

Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 336

You deserved it 83 892

By CaoNiMa - 26/03/2009 15:42 - China

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we we're watching a movie in my basement. I run upstairs and pop a bag of popcorn. Later I come downstairs to find my 10 year old brother sitting next to my girlfriend saying," My brother always says he wants to screw your brains out, whatever that means". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 844

You deserved it 74 861

By cuntocracy - 21/01/2014 22:27 - Australia

Today, my brother asked me if I wanted to see a magic trick. I stupidly said yes and now have a black eye from where he punched me. My dad thinks it's hilarious and my mum says he didn't know any better. He's 13. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 236

You deserved it 6 076

evolution8 9

Saturday 2 August 2014 15:32

I hope you didn't give him that cookie and taught him how to speak

xXToxicPenguinXx 12

Saturday 2 August 2014 15:32

Oh kids these days!

Comments

SmokeDD 2

Monday 22 June 2015 15:47

Shamefull, but at least he said the "magic word" although not meant to have the 'bitch' in front of it :p

shotgun_girl 17

Monday 7 December 2015 4:01

He is small. You are big. Do what you will with this information >:)

trumpet27 1

Friday 3 February 2017 5:55

Kids are starting to cuss at a young age. YDI for having a 3 year old brother who can learn any language faster than you.

lucasjames22 8

Thursday 6 July 2017 18:06

i think that's really sad. Who taught him to speak like that? I hope you didn't get him a cookie

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Well. I must admit when I first received today's illustration, seeing the massive pliers pop out kind of freaked me out. Then I reached the last panel and I'm not sure if it's out of anxiety relief or what, but I laughed so hard I might have choked a...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

Today, I took my new boyfriend's virginity about 10 minutes ago. He kept whispering, "It’s inside you, it’s actually inside you… feels kind of sticky, slippery, it’s actually inside you I can’t believe it.” It was super off-putting and a bit creepy. And no, I definitely did not orgasm. FML

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You deserved it 277

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Today, my boyfriend posted a status on Facebook saying what a great girlfriend he had. Flattered, I commented on it, saying that I felt the same about him. Turns out he was talking about his other girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 770

You deserved it 285

Today, I went out to buy my wife some flowers and a chocolate bar that I overhead she liked the other day. On the way home, I was complimented on the bouquet I chose and feeling pretty good about myself. When I got home it turned out I got the wrong kind of flowers and the wrong percent of dark chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 130

Today, my mom wrote me an email, asking how I was doing after an accident yesterday. I wrote back at length, telling her everything in detail. Two hours later, she calls me on the phone, asking how I am. She was simply too lazy to check her mail and expected me to tell her everything a second time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 193

Today, I was feeling down so my husband took me to a comedy show. This comedian saw me, heckled me for a full two minutes, then returned to me a further three times during his act to mock me again, zeroing in on every one of my insecurities until I left crying, feeling worse than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 635

You deserved it 172

Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 169

Today, it’s been so long since I've had sex, I dream about it every night and I can barely function mentally unless I masturbate frequently, otherwise I get random boners throughout the day that won’t go away, no matter how much I try to think about something else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 404

Same thing different taste

Little shit

Ungrateful

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