Love: Today, I was watching 'Tool Academy' with my girlfriend. When...

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By soundbox - 27/01/2009 00:21 - United States

Today, I was watching 'Tool Academy' with my girlfriend. When asked which Tool I would be, I replied with Power Tool. She then stated I would be 'Tiny Tool'. I'm 240 pounds. I don't know if she was calling me fat, or saying I have a small penis. My best guess would be both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 531

You deserved it 4 740

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

By nick - 06/03/2011 01:42 - United States

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 451

You deserved it 3 818

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 119

You deserved it 10 958

By Lauren - 08/09/2010 23:13 - Australia

Today, a little girl asked me how I could be so fat and still have small boobs. Great question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 641

You deserved it 8 145

By showerpower - 21/01/2010 00:23 - United States

Today, while in the shower with my girlfriend she was going on and on about how she thinks she's fat when she's in perfect shape. With what she said still on my mind, I meant to say "honey, you're so beautiful", but accidentally said "honey, you're so fat". I'll be sleeping alone tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 517

You deserved it 34 901

By Anonymous - 25/08/2012 15:48 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Today, while on the bus, a small child asked me if I was having a baby, and I replied "Yes." I'm not. I was just too ashamed to admit I was fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 734

You deserved it 10 738

Epitaph

By Anonymous - 16/05/2020 14:00

Today, I asked my boyfriend to honestly tell me if I had become overweight. He replied that yes, I had, but that it was OK because I was his "Lumpy Space Princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 069

You deserved it 1 454

By not-that-fat - 27/07/2009 13:49 - United States

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend when I said, "I wish all the weight I gained just went to my boobs." His reply was, "They'd be HUGE." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 346

You deserved it 25 991

By desigymrat - 25/12/2010 05:29 - France

Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 511

You deserved it 42 614

Money!

By Sheezey - 24/02/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, I went to the gym and worked out with a trainer. While doing arm exercises he commented on how impressed he was with the size of my triceps. That really boosted my self-confidence, until he leaned in to feel them and said, "Oh, it's just fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 428

You deserved it 6 786

Jonah begs to differ

By JOTA - 07/10/2020 04:02 - New Zealand

Today, my girlfriend told me she was worried about being eaten by a whale while out kayaking on our holiday tour. I told her that she was way larger than whale food, and that it wouldn’t be interested in her. Now she is accusing me of trying to tell her "nicely" that she's fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 375

Sarasa01 0

Monday 23 March 2009 7:06

Is there an Overly Sensitive Tool?

sexy1 0

Monday 2 March 2009 2:26

I'm sorry soundbox, you're just a tool

Comments

Superawesomestev 0

Tuesday 20 October 2009 4:47

lol

SumKid_fml 0

Friday 15 January 2010 0:00

Im guessing penis? Dude, ur 240 pounds. Thats not that "tiny"

Compass 0

Friday 15 January 2010 23:02

@14 Generally fat people have smaller penises because their fat kind of absorbs some of it. People that have lost weight can may tell you their penis got longer. Girth should remain the same, though. I should know from experience and research.

What_Willis_is_t 1

Friday 22 April 2011 16:55

Their fat absorbs their penis? Please tell me you're joking and not that stupid. And wait, research? What'd you do? Google fat mans penis? Or did you walk the streets with a ruler?

cinnamininini 5

Tuesday 10 June 2014 6:50

Where the **** do you get this from?,?

Dekat121 24

Sunday 7 September 2014 20:52

you mean the fat starts to surround the pelvis region, making the penis look smaller? please tell me this is what you meant

Loosechange 0

Saturday 1 May 2010 8:46

Ya well Tub's if you are fat because you are to lazy to workout you don't deserve a girlfriend and she was talking about you being small and calling you fat. If you have a medical condition so you cannot work out then sorry and good luck.