Health, Poopoo peepee and Gross: Today, my friend was extremely constipated when he used my toilet....

By Anonymous - 13/08/2019 20:00

Today, my friend was extremely constipated when he used my toilet. I'm now having to go buy a new toothbrush, because he used mine to dig out his shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 214

You deserved it 164

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Same thing different taste

By Toothy - 02/04/2011 05:03 - United States

Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 986

You deserved it 50 048

By Anonymous - 21/01/2015 04:29 - United States - Bentonville

Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 001

You deserved it 2 891

Noise machine

By achtung - 01/02/2009 23:57 - United States

Today, I had to use my friend's toilet. His pretty cute sister was in the kitchen adjoining the bathroom, so I smiled and said hi on my way through. I then had the loudest and most vile-sounding shit of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 139

You deserved it 5 834

By Anonymous - 13/05/2013 05:02 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 019

You deserved it 5 245

By Anonymous - 28/02/2012 18:20 - United States

Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 307

You deserved it 2 826

By jack - 27/08/2015 10:56 - United Kingdom - London

Today, due to medication I am taking that causes constipation, I have become all too accustomed to using a disposable rubber glove to dig crap out of my own butthole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 168

You deserved it 2 426

Shit for brains

By Anonymous - 31/10/2023 15:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 653

By arrrrggggghhhh - 04/03/2009 23:38 - United States

Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 112

You deserved it 5 187

By nicole - 22/09/2011 10:31 - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend confessed that after every fight we have, he dips my toothbrush in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 398

You deserved it 5 428

Sitcom vibes

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 19:31 - France - Paris

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 401

You deserved it 48 867

King K 2

Tuesday 13 August 2019 20:34

That’s not a friend...

Seeya55 31

Tuesday 13 August 2019 21:38

Wait, you don't have a poop knife?

Comments

King K 2

Tuesday 13 August 2019 20:34

That’s not a friend...

hereforfmls 17

Wednesday 14 August 2019 19:46

a real friend would say hey dont use your tooth brush I gotta get you one

cardin06 15

Tuesday 13 August 2019 20:40

What??? How??? Why???

Seeya55 31

Tuesday 13 August 2019 21:38

Wait, you don't have a poop knife?

HokieJ 10

Wednesday 14 August 2019 1:02

I think you're thinking about the wrong hole

Major_Haywire 7

Wednesday 14 August 2019 3:11

I don’t think he was digging it out of the toilet, it hadn’t reached that far

Seeya55 31

Wednesday 14 August 2019 14:53

Well, anything can be a digger if you're brave enough!

Mar Zammit 4

Tuesday 13 August 2019 21:57

What a shitty situation, and I mean it literally xD. You should have made him buy you the new toothbrush real friends do not dig shit with their tooth brush.