By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 02:24 - United States

Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML
I agree, your life sucks 31 768
You deserved it 2 494

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Wouldn't you have to clean it off? It could easily contaminate other things or people causing health risks.

having fecal matter all over you is pretty disgusting ....regardless the job

Comments

Reminds me of the bleach commercials, for life's bleachable moments lol

linkinpark98 23

I don't even think bleach could fix that mess.

MetalxSoldier 26

Wow, that sucks. I'm sorry man. Ill probably get thumbed down but hey, at least you have a job. I know it's hard sometimes but you gotta stick through it. (:

Wouldn't they make you clean up or something? I mean that's technically dangerous to the patients.. Usually doctors work using hand sanitzer every chance they get, not covered in waste

yeahisaidit77 1

When I was a professional EMT in NY before I broke my back on the job I saw and experienced more shit than that and you take it as part of the job, And im young too, worked from 18-21. I even once saw a patient eating their own shit off the pillow they were sitting on... True story

Seriously?!?! U sure it wasn't chocolate? One man, one pillow trumps two girls one cup

GoW_Chick 14

You know some stories just shouldn't be told, ever, like never ever, especially when the person who's reading it just took a bite of food. -.-

This reminds me of that one House episode where poop came out of the lady's mouth. Is it wrong that I laughed out loud when I read that a patient ate their own shit?

boomhauer18 3
yeahisaidit77 1

Haha sorry guys, but I got much funnier stories than that, alotta crazy times on the ambulance, like doing rock paper scissors with my partner to see who would treat an old womans prolapsed uterus... I lost :/ lmfao, or walking into the projects, waiting for an elevator with the stretcher, 2 cops, and 3 other techs, and when the elevator doors open there a homeless dude (looks like Tyrone Biggums from chapelle show) sitting on a bucket taking a shit, holding a newspaper upside down, and when he looked at us he said in a calm voice "do you mind? I'm in da baffroom!" and hit the door close button, I didn't stop laughing till the call after that one haha, or the story of chicken ******... There's alotta good memories made in EMS, the original poster needs to look at the silver lining and take the bad with the good, at the end of the day it is rewarding helping people... Even if the Money sucks haha

Okay. Oops, sorry wrong hoes. Yea, I thought Laqueefa was a weird brand name.

Did you really have to use the word "queef" in that name :X Some people like to eat breakfast while FMLing.

Jewnut 0

One of the only jobs where getting shit on doesnt warrant a day off

VampObsessed 16

My boyfriend had a colostomy bag after he had a total colectomy. Do you know how many times is burst in bed or the car? It's not a big deal. How do you think your patient feels? Embarrassed. Clean it up, reassure them, and move on.

rconto26 2

No shit. We act professional the bitch about it later.

GoW_Chick 14

Well it could have been worse... Wait no it couldn't, you just have shit luck my friend.

GoW_Chick 14

*have Damn my stupid tired self and my inability to spell!

DontClickOnMe 28

I thought of a way it could be worse! He could've had his mouth open. Yeah, that would be worse, but good thing it didn't happen. :)

Yeah. . . Unfortunately, that happened to me. Luckily, it was urine (not feces) yet my patient had active MRSA at the time . . . Yuck! --.--

cariana 6

This is a violation of HIPPA..

doink 0

Right, because he mentioned personal information about the patient, such as the patient's name and the city/state in which this occurred. Oh wait! No... no, he didn't. And by the way, it's HIPAA. HIPPA sounds like a female hippo.

How about 'Hippette'? Or the voluptuous 'Hippadona'?? Mmm? Mmmm??

perdix 29

I'd like to violate Hippa -- she's so much hotter than her sister, Kate.

#29 Do you even know the terms and conditions of HIPAA...?

redneckEMT21 2

I love how people accuse me of violating HIPAA when I mention anything about a patient. I constantly have to remind them that HIPAA is an American invention.