Work: Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard....

By copshop - 10/11/2011 11:40 - United States

Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 292

You deserved it 36 047

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Same thing different taste

By Katrin - 30/10/2011 19:13 - Norway

Today, I got into my car after a long shift at work. When I looked in my rear view mirror, a horrifyingly evil face grinned at me from the back window. I leaped out of the car, only to be chased around by two people in clown masks. It turned out to be a prank set up by my co-workers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 638

You deserved it 3 526

Spooky season

By fishyrael - 13/10/2022 00:00 - United States - East Lansing

Today, I took a nap before work. I had a harrowing nightmare in which I was chased by a murderer and the ghosts of his victims at my job. I then woke up to go to work, where I work the night shift, completely alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 125

Long walk home

By zoe - 15/07/2022 22:00

Today, I got locked out of a building that I work in (I work night shifts). I locked my phone, wallet, and car keys in the building. I had no way of contacting my boss or getting a ride. I had to walk home at night, almost got hit by a car full of dudes yelling slurs, and had a woman scream at me from the passenger seat of a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 961

You deserved it 217

By idiot - 09/07/2012 21:26 - United States

Today, I was sitting in my car waiting my shift to start. I must've fallen asleep because I woke up to a call from my boss firing me. I was in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 084

You deserved it 23 535

By Keldar - 19/08/2009 07:53 - United States

Today, at the gas station I work a lady called wanting to know the "password" and if I was okay. Thinking it was a prank I hung up. A couple of minutes later she called back, this time asking if I could see the cops outside and telling me I'd be alright. I saw four of 'em. I'd hit the silent alarm by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 594

You deserved it 40 560

By Anonymous - 24/10/2009 00:40 - United States

Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 543

You deserved it 7 398

Security breach

By BryanTazed - 22/08/2015 12:21 - United States - Ashland

Today, I woke up early for work. Had my coffee, finished up a report and headed out of my house. Not only was the office closed today, but the silent alarm was on, which is triggered by a door opening even if you use a key. I was startled by the cops searching the building, ran, and got tased. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 810

You deserved it 6 753

By Noname - 13/03/2009 03:42 - United States

Today, I woke up to find my car broken into. After being upset for not hearing my car alarm go off I realized it had in the middle of the night. I had woken up and cursed the idiot who set off their alarm and put a pillow over my head, falling back to sleep shortly after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 784

You deserved it 54 240

By yeyt209 - 10/06/2012 07:46 - United States - Bismarck

Today, I passed out in my car in a McDonald's parking lot. I got woken up by a cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 588

You deserved it 10 135

Freakout

By ParanoidFreak - 31/12/2009 09:31 - United States

Today, after I got in my car in the Walmart parking lot, a creepy man knocked on my window. Since I'm incredibly paranoid and scare easily, I put my car in gear and tore out of there, accidentally hitting another car. Apparently he was returning my phone that I dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 944

You deserved it 40 249

blargheria 0

Thursday 10 November 2011 16:13

Supervisor of the year award goes to...

bigAC 6

Thursday 10 November 2011 16:14

you're like one of those Windex bird

Comments

THeroinCZ 10

Thursday 10 November 2011 16:27

deserved ;)

thinkingatheist 8

Thursday 10 November 2011 16:30

Security guards do paperwork too??

gene818 13

Thursday 10 November 2011 16:33

It would've been a lot better if the window was open

HappyJello 7

Thursday 10 November 2011 16:33

You were probably too tired to think straight. FYL.

scthundermlb53 0

Thursday 10 November 2011 16:33

And that's why you'll never be a real cop!!!

tactical_bacon 4

Thursday 10 November 2011 16:35

nice force option.. i carry pepper spray at my security job too, also grave shift... but u know pepper spray wont work through rubber masks right?

yrkamurka 4

Thursday 10 November 2011 16:39

Yea but he said his window was closed..

deviable 9

Thursday 10 November 2011 18:35

Most masks have eye holes.

judo4ever 0

Thursday 10 November 2011 16:41

I'm also an overnight Security Guard (ImitationBacon). YDI for getting caught sleeping!

lmaoatall 6

Thursday 10 November 2011 16:42

This would be more like a scene out of scary movie, and you're Doofy. "mom said don't bother me when I'm cleaning my room"!

cupcakedoom 3

Thursday 10 November 2011 16:46

I would have died..

Jdeluxh 12

Thursday 10 November 2011 16:46

The YDI and YLS are equal.

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Weddings Love My ex AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Relatable Mental health Therapy Kids Parenting Thanksgiving Covid Argument Medication Ironic Cute Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Work Money

The Top

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 055

You deserved it 8 438

Today, it's the first day of my two-week stay at my in-laws' house. They forbid drinking, smoking, cursing, and anything even remotely sexual. I smuggled in my quietest toy to keep me sane in this holy house. If only I hadn't forgotten to bring the battery pack too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 966

You deserved it 29 847

The Top

Today, after seeing a cute girl on the bus, I tried to look cool by flipping my hair, only to smack the side of my head into the bus window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 070

You deserved it 10 144

Today, my mother has filled me with such grief from covert narcissism that I realized I'm having panic attacks about her being able to hear me if I speak my mind, even when I'm alone. I'm in my thirties and married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 546

You deserved it 95

Today, I wrote out a note to the guy I liked. I went to hand it to him, but he said, "Sorry, that's not mine," and walked away. I was so nervous, I couldn't speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 619

You deserved it 317

Today, I went out with a friendly guy who's very passionate about the environment and everything was going fine until he asked about my job. I work as a clerk in a plantation company. He went from Mr. Daydream to Mr. Scary because the company I work for is destroying the forest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 247

You deserved it 619

Today, while at an amusement park my husband left me to walk with all of our friends because he said that I moved too slow. I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 034

You deserved it 6 157

Today, I'm three months pregnant. Hours after the father of my baby bought me a wedding ring, he decided to get drunk and tell me that he doesn't see himself with me for the rest of his life, and doesn't really want to get married. Oh and that he hates my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 379

You deserved it 7 654

Same thing different taste

Spooky season

Long walk home

Security breach

Freakout

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