Health: Today, I wasn't feeling too good, and took my temperature. I...

By anonymous - 18/09/2009 17:48 - France

Today, I wasn't feeling too good, and took my temperature. I had a fever, which I told my boyfriend who was laughing hysterically when I told him. I asked him what was so funny, turns out he's been using the thermometer to take our dog's temperature sometimes. Rectally, of course. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 563

You deserved it 5 582

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Same thing different taste

By asstomouth - 29/05/2010 18:20 - France

Today, I wasn't feeling well, so I took my temperature with a thermometer from my sister's bathroom. I later found out that I actually used my sister's rectal thermometer. At least I don't have a fever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 120

You deserved it 9 639

By Anonymous - 26/12/2012 04:56 - United States - Medina

Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 628

You deserved it 3 785

By sickyandiknowit - 08/11/2014 07:36 - United States - Eugene

Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 118

You deserved it 4 857

Blame the pooch

By anamota89 - 11/05/2012 09:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 339

You deserved it 32 306

By Anonymouse - 07/11/2015 02:03

Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 919

You deserved it 2 172

By Anonymous - 06/11/2014 12:15 - United States - Gainesville

Today, my eight-year-old microwaved our thermometer to see if the temperature would change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 720

You deserved it 4 258

By ohmygoodness - 02/03/2009 21:51 - United States

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 726

You deserved it 17 289

The Voice

By Anonymous - 06/09/2021 05:01

Today, my boyfriend took our dog to the vet because he heard him whining in pain this morning. It was actually me singing in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 286

By n - 04/04/2015 18:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend made me breakfast because I had a cold. Because my nose was so stuffed, I couldn't tell that our milk had gone bad. I had two cups. And now I'm stuck on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 133

You deserved it 3 504

By egged - 08/07/2014 01:41 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I have a really high fever and my sister thought I was hot enough to fry an egg on. So I'm lying in bed now, still terribly feverish, but smelling of the egg she cracked on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 318

You deserved it 3 648

tangerine_12 0

Friday 18 September 2009 23:07

ewww thats sicckkk. but i woulda laaughed too ahaha.

xkat356 0

Friday 18 September 2009 23:10

hahahaa, you should have just stuck the thermometer in your armpit, not your mouth, but FYL.

Comments

ladiesman14 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 6:33

get checked for feline AIDS right away. have your boyfriend arrested for assault with a deadly weapon.

LyricalChaos 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 6:56

Feline? It's a dog >.>

Intoxicunt 5

Saturday 19 September 2009 7:52

Assault with a deadly...thermometer? Or is it the dog shit that's deadly?

cmac86 23

Saturday 19 September 2009 8:12

ha ha I'm laughing at this.

SusanaSaysRawrxD 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 8:39

What's with everyone only using oral thermometers? :3 Here, at doctors offices and hospitals, we use those forehead ones. They swipe it across your forehead, and stick it under your ear for a second, and it's done. Much quicker than oral/armpit/rectal. I haven't had my temp taken orally in a while. O.o Ahaha, and I love how a bunch of comments say "We use oral!". I've been mentally adding Thats What She Saids to most of the comments. xD

Intoxicunt 5

Saturday 19 September 2009 9:08

To the last part: ME TOO!

she_wolf 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 9:49

YDI for using "good" instead of "well." learn grammar.

Gasperilla 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 15:08

you don't wash the thermometer before and after you use it?

epicwinmaster 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 17:21

the reason your life is ****** is because you liked it :p

violentturtle 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 22:20

YDI for dating him.

rakhil11 7

Sunday 20 September 2009 5:45

Why was he laughing...? I would have been like 'Oh shit.'

shantoast 0

Monday 21 September 2009 20:44

lollllll, oh shit.

291togo 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 17:09

I guessed you learned the difference between a rectal and oral thermonitor. THE TASTE!

make_art_not_war 0

Tuesday 22 September 2009 22:05

That is soooo *****. If I was your boyfriend I would've laughed at you too. Also, why are you with a guy who takes his dog's temperature? Is it just me or is that seriously weird????