By creepermagnet - 06/04/2009 19:39 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks 399 834
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creepermagnet tells us more.

creepermagnet 0

Let me tell you the rest of the story: this actually happened a couple months ago, but I just discovered this site. First off, there was NO second date. My God. Right after he said that, I told him I wanted to go home (he had driven, and I didn't have a car or any way to get home). He then asked if I wanted to go to the woods so he could "do things to me." I told him no, going home would be fine. He took me home and I called him and told him I never wanted to see him again. For half an hour, he tried to convince me to see him again, but I eventually just hung up. For a month or so he called me every day but I didn't answer. Finally, I grew tired of this and I answered the phone. I told him he was really scaring me and he needed to stop trying to contact me. He told me, "I was falling in love with you but they all laughed at me!" (Mind you, I do not know who "they" are. Nor do I wish to know). I told him I was very sorry, but he had to stop calling me or I would contact the police. He then said to me, "Where is the darkness??? Why do you paint me as a demon when I just want to show you the light???" I haven't spoken to him since.

Top comments

Comments

FML_x2 0

You should've put your hand over his crotch, stared him right in the eye and said.. "I'll show you plump." *Kicks him in the balls*

YAYLissa 0

HAHAHA OMGG i love that linee!!

greysgal15 0

lol that is my new fave pickup line EVER hhahahahhahahahah btws.... RUN FAR FAR AWAY!!!!!!!

OP, you are frickin awesome for posting with the comments. this is few and far between with FML posters, so it's good to know that you're with a better person now and not some rando with candy and puppies in his van

KELLYexists 0

I just laughed myself to tears.

b5200 0

sounds like something I would do, people like me have twisted senses of humor.

GGnoRe 0

What a freak. He should be a comedian

Tilde_fml 3

Lmao. I have friends who would say that.

fernlinusdawson 0

LMAO this is hilariouss -- what a CREEP! i hope you ran..