By creepermagnet - 06/04/2009 19:39 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks 399 834
You deserved it 46 094

creepermagnet tells us more.

creepermagnet 0

Let me tell you the rest of the story: this actually happened a couple months ago, but I just discovered this site. First off, there was NO second date. My God. Right after he said that, I told him I wanted to go home (he had driven, and I didn't have a car or any way to get home). He then asked if I wanted to go to the woods so he could "do things to me." I told him no, going home would be fine. He took me home and I called him and told him I never wanted to see him again. For half an hour, he tried to convince me to see him again, but I eventually just hung up. For a month or so he called me every day but I didn't answer. Finally, I grew tired of this and I answered the phone. I told him he was really scaring me and he needed to stop trying to contact me. He told me, "I was falling in love with you but they all laughed at me!" (Mind you, I do not know who "they" are. Nor do I wish to know). I told him I was very sorry, but he had to stop calling me or I would contact the police. He then said to me, "Where is the darkness??? Why do you paint me as a demon when I just want to show you the light???" I haven't spoken to him since.

Top comments

Comments

ImaTrainwreck 0

Hahahaah that was hilarious. I'm going to use that on my friends. :] And I'm sure he was joking.

oh my god... What a keeper! lawl. FYL indeed.

jewelzgalore 0

BEST fml ever!!! It sounds like something Dwight would say.

bryce9907 0

ROFTLOL ME AND MY FRIENDS DO THIS TO PREPPY GIRLS AT MY SCHOOL XDDDDDDDDDDD

hahahahaa, this just made my day! what a creep.

oooh i thought this was funny until i read the second part of your story. Wow.

ImaTrainwreck 0

I'm sorry, but the second part IS the funny part of this story. The first part isn't that funny.

ImaTrainwreck 0

@530 I'm sorry, but the second part of this story IS the funny part.