By creepermagnet - 06/04/2009 19:39 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks 399 834
You deserved it 46 094

creepermagnet tells us more.

creepermagnet 0

Let me tell you the rest of the story: this actually happened a couple months ago, but I just discovered this site. First off, there was NO second date. My God. Right after he said that, I told him I wanted to go home (he had driven, and I didn't have a car or any way to get home). He then asked if I wanted to go to the woods so he could "do things to me." I told him no, going home would be fine. He took me home and I called him and told him I never wanted to see him again. For half an hour, he tried to convince me to see him again, but I eventually just hung up. For a month or so he called me every day but I didn't answer. Finally, I grew tired of this and I answered the phone. I told him he was really scaring me and he needed to stop trying to contact me. He told me, "I was falling in love with you but they all laughed at me!" (Mind you, I do not know who "they" are. Nor do I wish to know). I told him I was very sorry, but he had to stop calling me or I would contact the police. He then said to me, "Where is the darkness??? Why do you paint me as a demon when I just want to show you the light???" I haven't spoken to him since.

Top comments

Comments

oh... oh, my... he's either a clever one or just a big creeper. either way, that is a bit odd...

oh... oh, my... he's either a clever one with the jokes or just a big creeper. either way, that's a bit odd...

^ Seriously #513, 514, there IS an edit button... USE IT

this is like, the best FML ever... me and my friend always joke about it =] haha awesome

Laura1234_fml 0

HAHAHHAHAHA thats so creepy but so funny at the same time, i couldnt stop laughing when i read that!

ManganeseDream 0

People are so uptight these days. I'll be buying his comedy album or reading his book when it comes out.

I made an account on FML just to say something in response to this. And that something would be - **** YES! marry this man!

christopherlove 0

This guy is my god. I will use this line forever.