Love: Today, I went on somewhat of a blind date. The date was OK until...

By 11321 - 22/04/2009 05:24 - United States

Today, I went on somewhat of a blind date. The date was OK until he tried to spoon feed me. This didn't go over so well. Later, I noticed a strange looking brief case he was carrying. I asked him what it was and he whipped out 5 yoyos and did a yoyo show in the middle of the restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 067

You deserved it 6 904

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Same thing different taste

Bat out of hell

By goodeyesight - 11/10/2012 14:02 - Brazil - Sào Paulo

Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 361

You deserved it 31 749

Oh no…

By Anonymous - 08/03/2023 20:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I went on a blind date. Not only I had already been on a date with the guy before, we'd also had both forgotten about it until halfway through the dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 246

Joe Smooth

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 04:59 - United States - West Covina

Today, I went on a blind date. My date spent the whole time at the restaurant on his phone and didn't even try to show interest. Thankfully I'll never have to deal with this individual ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 141

By severedface - 22/05/2011 05:35 - Canada

Today, I went on a blind date. When I got there, I found out that the guy was a ventriloquist and was going to use his puppet to talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 367

You deserved it 5 373

Next!

By ElodieUNU - 12/07/2013 19:33 - France

Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 144

You deserved it 7 788

Jah Rule

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Mount Laurel

Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. My date took one look at me and said pityingly, "Stuffed your bra, didn't ya? Seriously, why even bother?" The douche then started trying to lecture me on "false advertising". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 429

You deserved it 8 249

Let's not do this again

By Krissy - 12/10/2024 14:00 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, I went on a blind date, even though the whole concept freaks me out a bit. My date showed up with his sister, who sat at our table and critiqued everything we did, from how I chewed my food, to the way we nervously laughed. He hardly said a word the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 75

By LoveSucks - 18/05/2019 21:54

Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 863

You deserved it 154

By Tiffosaur - 04/01/2013 06:12 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 008

You deserved it 2 653

By Anonymous - 06/01/2010 01:10 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date that my best friend had set up for me. When I arrived, I introduced myself and we sat at the table. After we ordered our food, he asked the waiter for some crayons and a kid's menu, and colored for the half hour before our food came. He didn't talk to me at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 513

You deserved it 4 027

Ami8919 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 12:22

Hey, he's obviously good with his fingers. Don't write him off too quick.

Get_Naykid 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 12:17

At least he was talented. Did he get your number? He could be of good use.

Comments

W33nie 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 3:52

Geez what do you want, a guy playing "Wonderwall" on the guitar

fyl_canada 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 4:21

This guy is made of WIN

hq13 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 4:35

HAAHAHAHAHAAHAHA.

melissa_10 7

Thursday 23 April 2009 5:43

ewww...thats weird!!

Wooooooow 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 6:15

He sounds nice ! But thats still embarassing ROFllll

Melodyfire 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 7:07

thatd be awesome... though embarrassing!

lowcapacityx 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 7:23

hahahahahahaha sounds like a good time to me. atleast you won't forget him.

Tatorrr 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 7:33

Wow, just... wow.

sameoldsameold 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 8:15

what a tool.

Endymion_fml 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 8:23

He was trying to impress you. Give the guy a break.

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The Top

Today, my daughter found a hair baked into the crust of her pizza. Grossed out, she put it down the garbage disposal, but I told her to dig it out so we could get a refund. After dinner, she came looking for the saved pizza crust. I was baffled about where it was until I realized I'd eaten it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 292

You deserved it 4 692

Today, to celebrate moving into a new apartment, my girlfriend decided she would get a kitten. She didn't know I'm allergic to cats. When I told her, she decided that she couldn't date someone who couldn't be around her cat; the one she doesn't have yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 444

You deserved it 3 015

The Top

Today, my fiancé has one leg shorter than the other after it was half blown off in the army, and his specially made wedding suit was delivered. They got the leg lengths the wrong way round. The wedding is in two days and he may have to wear his pants backwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 345

You deserved it 110

Today, my boyfriend's mum begged me to stay with my boyfriend because she says I'm the only one who can actually get him through college and into a decent job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 714

You deserved it 1 040

Today, I was walking into my living room when I slipped over the carpet, bashed my head on my glass table, and was moaning in pain on the floor. My parents came running when they heard my head bang… straight to the table, to see if there were any scratches on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 127

You deserved it 3 238

Today, I had horrible morning sickness, but being starving, I had some canned soup. My husband soon came into the room and commented on how the leeks in the soup looked like chunks of vomit. The visual caused me to vomit all over the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 241

You deserved it 3 449

Today, I was talking to my grandma and I mentioned the fact that tomatoes are technically fruit. It's been an hour and she's still yelling, accusing me of lying to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 828

You deserved it 4 614

Today, I realized that I probably have anger issues. I came to this conclusion after I finished screaming abuse at the microwave for beeping before I could hit the off switch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 006

You deserved it 29 534