Money: Today, I went online to check my credit report. My credit report...

By Anonymous - 23/09/2009 00:27 - United States

Today, I went online to check my credit report. My credit report says that I'm deceased, and have no rating. I'm at least 90% sure that this is not true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 811

You deserved it 2 593

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

I'm not dead, I swear

By Arsinoe - 06/01/2010 00:02

Today, I found out that I have been declared dead by my credit card company in England because I haven't used it since I moved to Thailand last year. I will need three witnesses to convince them that I'm actually alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 987

You deserved it 2 629

Scammed

By Anonymous - 08/03/2023 05:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I noticed my credit score increased by 30 points. Not understanding why, I checked credit karma and found out someone opened several credit cards in my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 86

Thanks, "Mom"

By thafinest - 12/10/2009 23:32 - United States

Today, I received a call from a collection agency. Since I had no clue, I was ready to file a police report for stolen identity. I then called my mom only to find out she has been opening new credit cards with my information for 3 years and not paying them. My credit is ruined and I'm only 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 668

You deserved it 2 294

By MommyLovesMe - 08/03/2011 15:21 - United States

Today, I learned why my credit score is so low. My mom stole my identity almost three years ago. Her excuse? "You didn't need good credit for anything anyways". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 711

You deserved it 3 349

DMV blues

By driver - 06/01/2010 14:55 - United States

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently, according to the state of Illinois, I'm dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 553

You deserved it 2 824

By wdavi022 - 05/01/2011 09:01

Today, I found out my identity was stolen. The person got credit cards in my name and didn't pay the bills, which has ruined my near perfect credit. The worst part about all of this is that I can't turn the person in. It's my mom, and sending her to jail wouldn't really work out for anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 479

You deserved it 5 448

By resurrected - 04/09/2013 15:59 - United Kingdom - Worthing

Today, I collected my new timetable at college only to find I've been dropped from all my classes. I've been listed as deceased. I'm definitely not dead and have no idea how I supposedly died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 103

You deserved it 2 987

By Anonymous - 10/06/2014 03:30 - United States - Crowley

Today, I found out that my boyfriend paid a guy to tell me he was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 095

You deserved it 6 261

Spirit world

By Anonymous - 21/01/2017 10:00

Today, I got another in a year-long string of threatening letters about my late mother's credit card bill. I've called the credit company repeatedly to settle the account, but they won't talk to me because I'm not authorized to access it. Hope they have a Ouija board. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 996

You deserved it 494

Computer says no

By Terry J - 13/11/2024 14:00 - United States - Manchester

Today, I was trying to be a responsible adult and check my credit score. I accidentally mistyped my password five times, got locked out, and had to call customer service. They asked me so many security questions, I started questioning my own identity (and sanity). FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 156

Apocalyptus 0

Wednesday 23 September 2009 10:25

90% ? Well I suppose you could be a zombie.

untoldfame 3

Wednesday 23 September 2009 10:29

In Soviet Russia, Credit Report Kills You!

Comments

The_Wonderful_Me 0

Friday 15 July 2011 17:49

Holy carp, ZOMBIIIIIIIE!!!!!

TheManliestMan 0

Friday 5 August 2011 6:01

What about the other 10%?

ZeroIce 12

Saturday 24 September 2011 14:34

still... the other 10% mean anything? I would be 100% sure if it thought i was dead...

The_mess_up 4

Wednesday 23 November 2011 5:38

Only 90%?

myalleyway 9

Tuesday 3 April 2012 22:21

90%?!?!? ????????

kmwilson 0

Wednesday 4 July 2012 13:53

Best fml yet! Haha made me laugh!!

xNephilim 18

Tuesday 23 October 2012 19:28

Zombies, man. They're everywhere.

FweakofCydonia 40

Wednesday 6 January 2016 3:51

Why only 90% ?

omzz15 23

Sunday 6 May 2018 23:23

Ah but it’s that 10% that will get you.

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The Top

Today, after 5 hours of attempting to sleep, I began to finally drift off. Then, some fuckwit who'd parked his car right outside my door took 20 minutes to switch his alarm off. I have to be up in about 4 hours, after a 12-hour night shift, heading into another. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 640

You deserved it 117

Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend and we passed the shop where my ex works at. My boyfriend slapped my ass right as my ex came out. It was so sudden that I started choking on a fry and dropped soda all over myself. My ex kept laughing all while my boyfriend kept apologizing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 491

You deserved it 2 612

The Top

Today, my boyfriend claims he found a way of spending time with my son without actually spending time with him. They play hide and seek, and for a long time as he shouts, “I’m gonna find you” every few minutes. The game can last over an hour while he watches TV without interruptions. Genius or asshole? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 561

You deserved it 286

Today, I got to wash my ex-wife's dishes at her apartment while her new boyfriend played with my daughter in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 029

You deserved it 12 836

Today, I walked into work and overheard three of my female coworkers talking and laughing about how ugly my face is, and how they’re sorry for whoever has to marry me. They went on to name the coworkers they actually would sleep with. I’m 25 and I've still never had a girlfriend. Thanks for the self-esteem boost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 186

You deserved it 115

Today, I nearly had an anxiety attack trying to sneak up on my sister to silly-string her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 857

You deserved it 13 701

Today, I fell on a crack in the pavement and broke my ankle. Next week, I'm supposed to fly interstate to be on a quiz show I've spent two years in the audition process for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 123

Today, my 23 year old boyfriend of 2 years was forced to dump me, over the phone, by his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 219

You deserved it 3 252