Money: Today, I went online to check my credit report. My credit report...

By Anonymous - 23/09/2009 00:27 - United States

Today, I went online to check my credit report. My credit report says that I'm deceased, and have no rating. I'm at least 90% sure that this is not true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 811

You deserved it 2 593

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

I'm not dead, I swear

By Arsinoe - 06/01/2010 00:02

Today, I found out that I have been declared dead by my credit card company in England because I haven't used it since I moved to Thailand last year. I will need three witnesses to convince them that I'm actually alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 987

You deserved it 2 629

Scammed

By Anonymous - 08/03/2023 05:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I noticed my credit score increased by 30 points. Not understanding why, I checked credit karma and found out someone opened several credit cards in my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 86

Thanks, "Mom"

By thafinest - 12/10/2009 23:32 - United States

Today, I received a call from a collection agency. Since I had no clue, I was ready to file a police report for stolen identity. I then called my mom only to find out she has been opening new credit cards with my information for 3 years and not paying them. My credit is ruined and I'm only 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 668

You deserved it 2 294

By MommyLovesMe - 08/03/2011 15:21 - United States

Today, I learned why my credit score is so low. My mom stole my identity almost three years ago. Her excuse? "You didn't need good credit for anything anyways". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 711

You deserved it 3 349

DMV blues

By driver - 06/01/2010 14:55 - United States

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently, according to the state of Illinois, I'm dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 553

You deserved it 2 824

By wdavi022 - 05/01/2011 09:01

Today, I found out my identity was stolen. The person got credit cards in my name and didn't pay the bills, which has ruined my near perfect credit. The worst part about all of this is that I can't turn the person in. It's my mom, and sending her to jail wouldn't really work out for anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 479

You deserved it 5 448

By resurrected - 04/09/2013 15:59 - United Kingdom - Worthing

Today, I collected my new timetable at college only to find I've been dropped from all my classes. I've been listed as deceased. I'm definitely not dead and have no idea how I supposedly died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 103

You deserved it 2 987

By Anonymous - 10/06/2014 03:30 - United States - Crowley

Today, I found out that my boyfriend paid a guy to tell me he was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 095

You deserved it 6 261

Spirit world

By Anonymous - 21/01/2017 10:00

Today, I got another in a year-long string of threatening letters about my late mother's credit card bill. I've called the credit company repeatedly to settle the account, but they won't talk to me because I'm not authorized to access it. Hope they have a Ouija board. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 996

You deserved it 494

Computer says no

By Terry J - 13/11/2024 14:00 - United States - Manchester

Today, I was trying to be a responsible adult and check my credit score. I accidentally mistyped my password five times, got locked out, and had to call customer service. They asked me so many security questions, I started questioning my own identity (and sanity). FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 156

Apocalyptus 0

Wednesday 23 September 2009 10:25

90% ? Well I suppose you could be a zombie.

untoldfame 3

Wednesday 23 September 2009 10:29

In Soviet Russia, Credit Report Kills You!

Comments

f_u_u_f_f 0

Wednesday 23 September 2009 22:31

Vegan zombie says GRAIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSS

ilovesk8rs107 0

Wednesday 23 September 2009 23:42

Lmao. This was epic =]

ajlardner 0

Wednesday 23 September 2009 23:45

THIS BELONGS ON MLIA.

Fingers0689 0

Wednesday 23 September 2009 23:47

Lol well the bright side is dead people don't have to pay taxes!

hbgoddard 0

Thursday 24 September 2009 0:00

YDI for being 10% sure you're dead.

morglyt 0

Thursday 24 September 2009 0:14

maybe he's like bruce willis on the sixth sense. he's dead, he just hasn't realized it yet.

anglicdvil524 0

Thursday 24 September 2009 0:33

I wonder what has to happen to turn that 90% to a 100%...hmmmm? ;)

mommmma 0

Thursday 24 September 2009 1:58

ROFL AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

PurpDOODE 0

Thursday 24 September 2009 2:20

WIN.

bugmenotmofo 34

Thursday 24 September 2009 2:41

your 90% sure that you aren't dead?

Keywords

Clothes Miscellaneous Relatable Shoes Cars Insurance Transportation Health Work Love Cheating Awkward Embarrassing Food Clumsy Animals Dating First Dates Bikes Dogs Cute Pranks Ironic Shopping Mistakes Texting Family Fight Birthday Drunk

The Top

Today, I had to give back the Christmas present to who I thought was my best friend. He asked me to be his girlfriend and I declined. Apparently, because I don’t feel the same way he does, I don’t deserve it. I was under the impression that he’d given me this present to be a friend, not to get in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 172

Today, after 5 hours of attempting to sleep, I began to finally drift off. Then, some fuckwit who'd parked his car right outside my door took 20 minutes to switch his alarm off. I have to be up in about 4 hours, after a 12-hour night shift, heading into another. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 640

You deserved it 117

The Top

Today, I saw a little kid struggling with a balloon, so I tried to help tie it for her. It popped in my hands, and she started crying. Then her mom came running up, yelling, "What did you do to my daughter?" I had to run away while saying sorry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 132

Today, for my husband's birthday next weekend, I booked a holiday which he was happy about… until I told him it was a surprise family holiday so I'd invited his kids and their families. Now he doesn’t want to go and has made up a fake work emergency. He’s a bus driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 1 245

Today, I figured out the best way to endure my wife's lack of sex drive: whenever she complains, I lose the urge myself. Works like a charm, because she complains all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 587

You deserved it 263

Today, I finally got an offer for a salaried position with the company I've been working for as a contractor for the past two years. They offered less than what I make now, but hey, benefits! FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 113

Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 675

You deserved it 12 661

Today, after I recently started going back to church, my husband, who was last inside a church when he was replacing a boiler, told me I’d better knock it off because our kids threatened to stop visiting, and our neighbours think we’re “that couple.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 619