Miscellaneous: Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating....

By Anonymous - 26/10/2012 07:23 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 918

You deserved it 3 238

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Same thing different taste

By fart - 27/11/2014 15:13 - United States - Houghton Lake

Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 121

You deserved it 7 283

By ANNIEDBD - 23/03/2012 09:44 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 039

You deserved it 2 131

Great date, thanks!

By Anonymous - 28/03/2009 18:50 - United States

Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn't come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 981

You deserved it 83 987

Elephant

By frank - 26/03/2021 23:01

Today, I farted in my office, assuming nobody would come in until the smoke cleared. The new girl then came in to introduce herself. She had her hands on her nose the whole time, while we both awkwardly tried to ignore the stank elephant in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 482

By Gas-pingForAir - 19/09/2016 08:59 - United States - Columbia

Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 788

You deserved it 1 671

By CHStennis_4 - 03/09/2011 04:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 313

You deserved it 3 866

Prankster

By longlostkid556 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 623

You deserved it 5 879

The Sweet Smell of Success

By let ‘Er rip - 13/10/2019 16:00

Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 709

You deserved it 598

Bigmouth Strikes Again

By lpilou - 21/11/2008 05:40 - France

Today, I was finally able to get to know a girl at university who I'd been eyeing up for months. We had a nice conversation. We discovered that we live in the same area, and so we talked about that. I told her that the little restaurant under my house was really disgusting. Her parents own it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 797

You deserved it 10 906

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 00:12 - United States

Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend I love her and that I never want us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 167

You deserved it 2 911

beacbum7 7

Friday 26 October 2012 11:47

Maybe she wasn't interested so she tried to get you to dislike her?

Mr_Mole 24

Friday 26 October 2012 11:54

I'll have her instead then. There's nothing wrong with a down to earth girl that finds that funny.

Comments

Posthuman 26

Friday 26 October 2012 14:07

OP: Wanna try anal? Girl: Yeah, hold on. *long, loud, disgusting fart* Ok I'm ready.

ThePessimist 7

Friday 26 October 2012 14:08

Your mothers I'm denial...

krewer21 1

Friday 26 October 2012 14:17

A woman with the mind of a man. Awesome! She is a keeper!

jamza 10

Friday 26 October 2012 14:17

Her parents must be proud... Dump her Nasty Ass then RUN FOREST... RUN

DogStew 20

Friday 26 October 2012 14:18

Give me her number. I'm totally in love! :-D

Bikrbum 6

Friday 26 October 2012 14:26

Charming...

chuckcloninger 12

Friday 26 October 2012 14:33

Run!

duckfan4life 1

Friday 26 October 2012 14:33

That's a keeper! Most women will never fart around a guy and if she's talking about it with you, wife her up!

interesting33 36

Friday 26 October 2012 15:26

Wife her up? Haha I've not heard that expression before.. STEAL! :P

duckfan4life 1

Friday 26 October 2012 18:35

Ha it's an old saying wife her up

erinchick1 7

Friday 26 October 2012 14:36

Wow! Shes a keeper!

KiddNYC1O 20

Friday 26 October 2012 14:41

At least you know you might engage a relationship/friendship with someone honest and with a sense of humor.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 664

You deserved it 3 777

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 090

You deserved it 13 428

The Top

Today, I found one of my mom's old diaries that dated back to my infant days. I couldn't help but read a little. I'm now in great concern over how many times my mom wrote that she wanted to dunk me in the toilet or throw me against a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 621

You deserved it 3 940

Today, my baby kept me up all night, and I only got 3 hours sleep. Normal, right? He's not even born yet and I'm only 5 months along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 212

Today, I told my supervisor how awful my coworker was at her job. I then got fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 509

You deserved it 544

Today, despite the fact that we love each other and are perfect together, my boyfriend still refuses to leave his wife. Apparently it will "mess his kids up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 2 830

Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 586

You deserved it 3 500

Today, I should be starting my last year of college next week. But no. My old advisor messed up my schedule so badly that there's no way I'll graduate for another year. So I'll be in school five years for a four year program because as a freshman I thought my advisor was helping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 857

You deserved it 1 398