Love: Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came...

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By mynameisarmpit - 15/11/2010 06:48

Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came up and was being nice. He said, "What can I get you two gentlemen?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 727

You deserved it 4 673

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/09/2009 19:09 - United States

Today, I was at lunch with my girlfriend. The waitress came up and asked for her number, then asked if she had a significant other. I laughed as my girlfriend gave the waitress her number. They're going on a date, tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 834

You deserved it 7 161

By TheMike23 - 11/01/2016 05:28 - United States - Winter Garden

Today, I went out with my mom to a restaurant. We were sitting down to eat, and a waitress walks over to our table and asks, "How are you ladies doing tonight?" It really was a nice thing to ask, for my mom. As for me, being a man, not so much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 913

You deserved it 2 295

Pleased to meet you

By footinmouth - 13/09/2009 05:14 - United States

Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 012

You deserved it 14 107

By Anonymous - 24/09/2013 07:15 - United States - Petrolia

Today, I took my girlfriend out to eat at a diner where my friend works. My friend was our waiter but too busy to talk much. He texted me after we'd left to tell me that my girlfriend had slipped him her number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 004

You deserved it 3 419

By Anonymous - 13/03/2013 23:22 - United States

Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 401

You deserved it 4 323

By serverdessert - 08/03/2009 21:02 - United States

Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 566

You deserved it 19 297

Smooth talker

By Kate - 07/03/2009 18:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were out to eat. The waiter came and asked what we wanted. My boyfriend said he wanted a cheeseburger and I told the waiter I'd have the same. My boyfriend looked at me and said, "Are you sure you don't want a salad?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 771

You deserved it 8 266

By Anonymous - 13/03/2019 12:00 - United States - Salem

Today, I asked a table at a restaurant if there's anything I could get out of their way and they replied, "Yeah, you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 242

You deserved it 241

By Anonymous - 20/07/2009 00:22 - United States

Today, I went out to eat at a restaurant. When the waitress saw me, she continously told me how beautiful and kind I was. Flattered, I just said thank you. Five minutes later, one of the ugliest girls I've ever seen in my life walked in. The waitress told her the same exact things she told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 626

You deserved it 13 580

By Anonymous - 18/04/2009 06:53 - United States

Today, I went out to dinner. The waiter was pretty cute. He greets us, "Hi my name is... (long pause) Jordan." Thinking he was flirting, I quickly smart back, "Are you confused?" He says, "No actually, I have a stutter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 904

You deserved it 69 789

ke59100 1

Monday 15 November 2010 12:06

could be worse, he could have what can I get you two ladies?

maskedman 9

Monday 15 November 2010 12:17

At least if your girlfriend cries she can soak the tears up with her mustache.

Comments

MyFirstKiss 0

Wednesday 17 November 2010 5:51

if your both girls,i can see the FML,but if ur a guy its more a **** her life that yours

MyFirstKiss 0

Wednesday 17 November 2010 6:01

poor girl:(i get it alot too but i have super short hair

Pocahontas22_fml 0

Wednesday 17 November 2010 10:19

weellll whatever your into. I feel bad for your gf, and I give you credit for still dating a girl even though she's different :)

Bryan19 0

Wednesday 17 November 2010 10:35

owned

hayden419 2

Wednesday 17 November 2010 19:45

awe poor girl ):

dankface 0

Thursday 18 November 2010 7:21

ouch.

hAGoN_fml 0

Monday 29 November 2010 4:23

owned

Cookiegirl222 0

Sunday 6 November 2011 21:03

I feel worse for the girl. Its more of an FML for her

gehoy 0

Sunday 4 December 2011 19:37

-Waits for someone to ask if OP is dating Lady Gaga...-

whitelotus 3

Tuesday 31 January 2012 3:45

Wow not sure what to say

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I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 795

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I agree, your life sucks 590

You deserved it 318

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I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 278

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I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 105

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I agree, your life sucks 9 430

You deserved it 52 329

Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 259

You deserved it 121 000

Same thing different taste

Pleased to meet you

Smooth talker

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