Miscellaneous: Today, I went skinny dipping with my friends. A security man...

By Men '86 - 24/07/2011 06:41 - Canada

Today, I went skinny dipping with my friends. A security man drove up the dock we were on with his bike. After informing us that the dock was closed, and noticing all of our swimsuits on the dock, he refused to move his flashlight beam from us in the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 017

You deserved it 39 325

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Japaroni - 15/09/2011 07:42 - United States

Today, I went out on my back patio at night to skinny dip. I live on the intracoastal, and as I was walking towards my pool, the police were doing a random search. From a boat with a spotlight. At least their whistles told me they liked the birthday suit I had on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 928

You deserved it 9 364

The last laugh

By criminal tit offender - 31/08/2013 16:25 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 968

You deserved it 72 761

He needs them more than you

By cjj325 - 20/03/2009 23:35 - United States

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my best friend. We were on the beach and it was fairly crowded but we got in the water at this really secluded area. While we were swimming I looked up to see a homeless man wearing my clothes, walking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 030

You deserved it 32 536

By annonymous - 28/02/2010 06:31 - France

Today, I went skinny dipping with a few friends at my friend's house. It was really fun until one of my friends shrieked, saying there were bugs in the pool. Everyone jumped out and looked at her. Turns out the "bugs" she saw was my body hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 879

You deserved it 6 946

By Anonymous - 20/10/2013 19:56 - United States - West Babylon

Today, a few of my friends arranged for us to go skinny-dipping with the guy I really like. It went really well, until a turd surfaced before our eyes. After we scrambled out of the pool in panic, my crush called us all freaks and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 959

You deserved it 6 105

By Anonymous - 03/08/2015 15:29 - United States

Today, a bunch of friends and I went skinny dipping in a pond. The guys all grabbed the ladies' underpants and waved then around. My bloody pad was inside of one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 886

You deserved it 15 401

By babydoll13211 - 04/09/2009 21:36 - United States

Today, I was at a friend's pool party. He lives on a lake and one of our friends wouldn't get in the water. My best friend and I decided to push him off the dock. Once we had, I turned to see my crush who had watched looked shocked, then said, "You know he can't swim right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 318

You deserved it 66 309

Dumbass friends

By georgehentson - 04/08/2021 20:01

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to post a sign at the deep end of the public swimming pool, saying, "This end topless only." When someone complained, he said that I did it, and I got banned from the pool for life. And fired, too - I was the lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 143

You deserved it 178

By Anonymous - 19/12/2012 17:19 - Australia - Perth

Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 437

You deserved it 37 131

By Higgs - 02/06/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 150

You deserved it 6 231

Doortje 29

Sunday 24 July 2011 15:52

What a perv.

thesunsetglow_fml 8

Sunday 24 July 2011 15:52

Well he was obviously waiting for you to ask him to join. How insensitive of you not to.

Comments

546edward 0

Monday 25 July 2011 14:27

i feel 4 u

TNB_xACiDiC 0

Monday 25 July 2011 18:12

Since you had already got caught, i guess he was trying to brighten up your day? .... No? ok yeaa he was just waiting for an invite!!!

Daniruu 4

Monday 25 July 2011 21:21

That...is sexual harassment. Tell someone about this.

twinstarbmc 1

Monday 25 July 2011 23:30

Sexual harassment? If this is harassment on the part of the guard, then it's also indecent exposure for OP. Want to arrest *everybody* involved?

ViperFreak 3

Monday 9 January 2012 1:02

I agree. This is no sexual harrassment, it is probably punishment via embarrassment for skinny dipping in a closed dock.

shadankium 1

Monday 25 July 2011 21:31

I'm gunna go out on a limb and say this didn't happen

abouttofly 12

Monday 25 July 2011 22:21

I'm not sure all these people understand. It's not like years ago. The fear of getting caught, of recklessness and water. They cannot see me naked.

twinstarbmc 1

Monday 25 July 2011 23:33

These things, they go away, replaced by everyday.

gmayn 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 8:12

well at least you know your hot or else he woulda left

Broc831 6

Sunday 31 July 2011 5:25

he obviously noticed a few more fellow nudists. I'm surprised he didn't immediately join you.. how rude of you not to invite him.

newburton13 26

Saturday 3 March 2012 18:32

I hope you sued his ass.

nikkipettyfer 24

Wednesday 21 November 2012 17:21

That's just disgusting what he was hoping for!

Capt_Colorz 8

Saturday 22 February 2014 17:42

Sue him

Keywords

Awkward Love Friends Cute Miscellaneous Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Transportation Dogs Animals ADHD Dating Mental health Health

The Top

Today, while I was mid-act with my girlfriend, my mom unlocked my bedroom door and came in shaking maracas. She then handed them to my very shocked girlfriend and told her these were the "Busted maracas" and directed her to pass them along accordingly. Well, at least our first time was memorable… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 441

You deserved it 365

Today, my boss is going nuts after some coworkers quit, as they were some of the lucky few with enough cash to move away ahead of whatever dumbass plan the next administration has for their immigrant families and friends. My boss is complaining he can't afford to pay "normal people wages" and wants me to work overtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 170

The Top

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 59

Today, after four years of infertility, my wife and I found out our miracle pregnancy was going to be a boy; our first child. Twenty minutes later, we found out our child has a terminal genetic condition, and will die in the next 4 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 547

You deserved it 126

Today, I came home from a long business trip. I walked in the front door to see my house was a complete mess. The first thing my son said was, "Did you bring pizza?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 838

You deserved it 355

Today, I spent twenty minutes looking in the mirror trying to remove a blackhead from my chin. It was a freckle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 065

You deserved it 2 992

Today, my parents decided to "discipline" my kitten by spraying her with water. This somehow managed to completely un-train her, and now she's back to being the compulsive biter she was when I first brought her home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 877

You deserved it 3 662

Today, I’m proud and happy for having used my bike instead of my car for almost two months. Well, I was. Until I discovered that my car, though clean, dry and with a moisture absorber inside, has started to grow mold. Everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 157

Same thing different taste

The last laugh

He needs them more than you

Dumbass friends

Top comments

Comments