Intimacy: Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I...

By embarrassed - 18/08/2014 16:39 - United States - Great Neck

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 630

You deserved it 20 505

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Same thing different taste

Baller move

By notafan - 07/08/2019 00:01 - United States

Today, I was at a baseball game. This kid in front of me had binoculars and was constantly shouting. Trying to amuse the girl next to me, I leaned over and said, "That kid probably has wet dreams about baseball." She got up and said to the kid, "Come on honey, we're leaving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 3 543

By sometingwong - 01/12/2011 20:32 - United States

Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 393

You deserved it 3 450

Watch your step

By the guy that didn't get his kiss - 25/06/2021 16:01

Today, while at a football game, I had my arm around my girlfriend. We were really close and I was just about to kiss her when suddenly her phone rang. It was her dad, telling her he's watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 961

You deserved it 149

Not now, Cooper

By Me. - 27/10/2011 06:40 - United States

Today, I got a boner at the dentist's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 004

You deserved it 8 873

By Keith walk - 12/02/2011 05:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's parents walked in on us having sex. Not only did her dad make me walk out to my truck with no clothes on, he is my baseball coach and I will be seeing him on Monday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 301

You deserved it 22 935

By Username - 08/07/2011 13:24 - United States

Today, I went to an amateur baseball game with some family and friends. When our team hit a home run, my grandpa took it upon himself to start screaming wildly, removing his prosthetic leg and waving it jubilantly in the air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 600

You deserved it 5 616

Smooth talker

By ugh - 31/01/2012 00:25 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 968

You deserved it 5 604

He bangs the drums

By PhilDavisDied? - 30/09/2010 10:33 - France

Today, after pulling up to my girlfriend's house for dinner with her parents, one of my favorite songs begin to play on the radio. After my 3 minutes of air drumming, I look up to see my girlfriend and her parents bouncing with laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 129

You deserved it 35 051

Whenever

By InstantHardOn - 08/11/2011 04:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 537

You deserved it 8 159

By Soundofaboner - 23/04/2013 16:08 - United States

Today, while practicing a song in choir, I got a boner. Trying to cover it up, I tried sitting down. My choir teacher got mad and made me stand in front of the whole class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 423

You deserved it 10 112

ShadowlessSpear 21

Monday 18 August 2014 22:40

Hopefully he didnt ask what it was and poke it.

imlifeless2 25

Monday 18 August 2014 22:44

Oh say, can you see? By my dick's early rise...

Comments

duma191 21

Friday 22 August 2014 1:14

that is a true American

fmlrulesBolt 14

Friday 22 August 2014 8:53

Haha wow

nightdreamer13 9

Sunday 24 August 2014 16:28

Isn't psychology just great?

BlackPanther19 11

Monday 25 August 2014 4:51

You are a true patriot

americanezio 10

Wednesday 3 September 2014 5:10

Very patriotic sir

LRSandTJB412 8

Saturday 6 September 2014 17:59

Because that song turns you on...?

sosquidka 4

Monday 8 September 2014 3:34

Interesting song choice...

duma191 21

Thursday 13 August 2015 9:35

He's as American as they come.

Wolverine48Ga 21

Saturday 30 July 2016 1:26

If he asked you should have said it was a freedom boner

Keywords

Cheating Love Relatable Work Money My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 032

You deserved it 3 461

USA, USA, USA; well, almost. Today we're not welcoming a French artist, not even an American artist, but an artist from... oh, you'll see! Are you in a hurry or something? Why can't we just sit down, have a nice cup of tea and talk about the future? ...

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 15

The Top

Today, I hate having bugs in the house so I covered all doors and windows in fly screen. This prevents 80% of the bugs from finding their way inside, and 100% of those from finding their way back out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 593

You deserved it 214

Today, my girlfriend, who I've been living with for the last month, told me she's not attracted to me and wants to see other people. She told me this after months of dating and telling me she was thinking about having a child with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 94

Today, my landlord sold the apartment I’ve been renting for 10 years without telling me. I found this out when the new owners showed up at the door with boxes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 58

Today, I'm at my grandparents' house to help clear snow. I was making a path to the driveway by pushing the snow out of the way. I saw a big pile and went to kick it really hard. Alas, it was a step. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 447

You deserved it 3 170

Today, my job application for McDonald's was rejected. This is the second time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 768

You deserved it 13 741

Today, the guy I'm dating found out I have severe arachnophobia. He downloaded a picture of a huge, hairy spider and set it as background on my iPhone. I can't even unlock my phone, as every time I try, the spider pops up and I drop the phone. He laughs every time I do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 961

You deserved it 6 544