Intimacy: Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I...

By embarrassed - 18/08/2014 16:39 - United States - Great Neck

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 630

You deserved it 20 505

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Baller move

By notafan - 07/08/2019 00:01 - United States

Today, I was at a baseball game. This kid in front of me had binoculars and was constantly shouting. Trying to amuse the girl next to me, I leaned over and said, "That kid probably has wet dreams about baseball." She got up and said to the kid, "Come on honey, we're leaving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 3 543

By sometingwong - 01/12/2011 20:32 - United States

Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 393

You deserved it 3 450

Watch your step

By the guy that didn't get his kiss - 25/06/2021 16:01

Today, while at a football game, I had my arm around my girlfriend. We were really close and I was just about to kiss her when suddenly her phone rang. It was her dad, telling her he's watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 961

You deserved it 149

Not now, Cooper

By Me. - 27/10/2011 06:40 - United States

Today, I got a boner at the dentist's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 004

You deserved it 8 873

By Keith walk - 12/02/2011 05:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's parents walked in on us having sex. Not only did her dad make me walk out to my truck with no clothes on, he is my baseball coach and I will be seeing him on Monday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 301

You deserved it 22 935

By Username - 08/07/2011 13:24 - United States

Today, I went to an amateur baseball game with some family and friends. When our team hit a home run, my grandpa took it upon himself to start screaming wildly, removing his prosthetic leg and waving it jubilantly in the air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 600

You deserved it 5 616

Smooth talker

By ugh - 31/01/2012 00:25 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 968

You deserved it 5 604

He bangs the drums

By PhilDavisDied? - 30/09/2010 10:33 - France

Today, after pulling up to my girlfriend's house for dinner with her parents, one of my favorite songs begin to play on the radio. After my 3 minutes of air drumming, I look up to see my girlfriend and her parents bouncing with laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 129

You deserved it 35 051

Whenever

By InstantHardOn - 08/11/2011 04:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 537

You deserved it 8 159

By Soundofaboner - 23/04/2013 16:08 - United States

Today, while practicing a song in choir, I got a boner. Trying to cover it up, I tried sitting down. My choir teacher got mad and made me stand in front of the whole class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 423

You deserved it 10 112

ShadowlessSpear 21

Monday 18 August 2014 22:40

Hopefully he didnt ask what it was and poke it.

imlifeless2 25

Monday 18 August 2014 22:44

Oh say, can you see? By my dick's early rise...

Comments

harley1077 9

Tuesday 19 August 2014 21:35

and the Rockets red glare...

Steve95401 49

Tuesday 19 August 2014 22:21

O, say can you see The boner of OP.

musicmanbilly 8

Wednesday 20 August 2014 8:53

That was wild from start to finish.

annarcheer 19

Wednesday 20 August 2014 16:39

you just made my day.

alchemist0 4

Thursday 21 August 2014 0:21

A patriotic boner

Fuzy2K 7

Thursday 21 August 2014 8:18

"Everybody rise for the National Anthem..."

Althaltefolie 13

Thursday 21 August 2014 10:54

Well that's one proud american.

blue5394 3

Thursday 21 August 2014 11:25

ferreal?? that's the song you chose?-.- smh..

jcast0627 9

Thursday 21 August 2014 13:25

You have no idea how hard I am laughing.

Saraishi 24

Thursday 21 August 2014 21:28

Pavlov's dog at it's best.

Keywords

Cheating Love Relatable Work Money My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my adult daughter was hospitalized for severe fever, diarrhea, and fainting. The doctor couldn't find any cause other than sleep deprivation, because I started making her wake up at 7 am. I’ve never met anyone so ridiculously weak in my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 607

Today, after a broken smoke detector in my home caused the fire department to come, I got an angry visit from my neighbor who was upset because she had parked in front of a fire hydrant and got a ticket. She demands that I pay it, "or else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 748

You deserved it 2 452

The Top

Today, I finally got a tattoo of an alchemy symbol that I've wanted for years. I also found out later that symbol stands for urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 541

You deserved it 51 148

Today, I watched Gigli. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 318

You deserved it 29 215

Today, I addressed my district manager as "Dude." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 543

You deserved it 41 855

Today, after 3 nights of insomnia, I was finally able to doze off. My boyfriend woke me up just to ask which soda in the fridge was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 418

You deserved it 2 090

Today, I went to pick up my daughter from school. The secretary said that my husband had already picked her up two hours ago. I don't have a husband. He left while I was pregnant with her 6 years ago. The secretary said “no one told her” she had to check ID’s before releasing a child for early dismissal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 256

You deserved it 113

Today, I realized that I’m one of those freaks: I took my cat on a walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 292

You deserved it 653