Kids: Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin...

By Anonymous - 15/07/2012 19:09 - United States - Littleton

Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 502

You deserved it 3 511

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Same thing different taste

By eww - 13/06/2012 06:13 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I was at a big family reunion at my aunt's place. Before dinner, I went outside in the garden for a smoke. Through the kitchen window, I saw my cousin spit in the soup. Twice. My aunt patted his back and continued stirring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 883

You deserved it 2 608

Don't mention it

By PoorGramps - 09/12/2009 07:39 - United States

Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 462

You deserved it 3 147

Pissed

By TJ. - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - India

Today, my friend whacked me in the family jewels while I was washing my hands in our college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 671

You deserved it 3 079

By girlmeetsworld - 18/02/2009 23:27 - United States

Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 137

You deserved it 13 658

By sillymink - 20/08/2016 02:06 - United States

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of my grandfather's funeral and my cousin started cracking up. It caused a chain reaction of laughter throughout all of the other cousins and my siblings. Now my aunts won't speak to any of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 741

You deserved it 2 420

By NaKreen - 30/07/2012 22:21 - Sweden - Bor

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 138

You deserved it 32 057

By Monroe - 23/06/2011 22:30 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my cousin when I realized my aunt didn't tell me where the diapers were. I searched the entire house, but I had no luck. Then my cousin ripped off the diaper she was wearing and peed on the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 333

You deserved it 4 249

By MisterBrown - 15/02/2010 07:08 - United States

Today, while at a family get together, my bowels suddenly decided they needed to be emptied. Straight away. I felt bad enough using someone else's bathroom for this, but later, my sister came in and loudly said "God, Brian, what the hell have you been eating?" in front of everyone at the get together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 772

You deserved it 3 361

By pissed off - 17/05/2014 00:33 - United States - Brentwood

Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 708

You deserved it 14 969

By buttpain - 01/12/2016 18:29

Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 613

You deserved it 844

ali671 1

Monday 16 July 2012 2:12

Don't be such a tight ass about it

coolbrony12 3

Monday 16 July 2012 2:13

Hm. Shocking.

Comments

andreaaax3 5

Monday 16 July 2012 2:47

My question is why is there a electric bug zapper in the bathroom?

Michael_92 20

Monday 16 July 2012 2:59

I can't believe you called him a little shit for something that isn't even a big deal.

jayfreeman80 0

Monday 16 July 2012 3:01

Wow OP you sure seem to have more odd things happen than anyone else on the site......amazing!!! At any rate - what the **** - the kid was experimenting - didn't you when you were younger???????

KiddNYC1O 20

Monday 16 July 2012 3:06

You're a huge shit. Help him out.

VampObsessed 16

Monday 16 July 2012 3:14

You're being really cruel. He's your little cousin and stuff happens. How is this at all affecting your life for the negative?

EmoBitchRock 0

Monday 16 July 2012 3:17

If he's peeing, then how would he have the ability to zap himself, let alone have a reason to be holding one in the first place?

greenie213 23

Monday 16 July 2012 3:24

"Hmm I wonder what happens if I... AAAAAAGH!"

TehMaskedWarrior 0

Tuesday 17 July 2012 7:46

Oh, Man... Made me literaly Lol...

ohrlly7457 7

Monday 16 July 2012 3:25

Kids and there masturbation these days.

andiewithlove 21

Monday 16 July 2012 8:10

*their

flutter4 7

Monday 16 July 2012 3:27

I thought this FML was funny as hell. I don't think your life is ****** because he is a moron. It will be a funny story to tell at future family dinners.

TheJester12 15

Monday 16 July 2012 3:31

Quite the feat If you ask me, maintaining a bullseye in the pot while simultaneously fending off the Persian army of mosquitos swarming his Leonidas.

StaminPrimer 0

Monday 16 July 2012 8:25

holy shit 39! that is funniest comment ever. But please do tell me who wins: the kid who somehow managed to zap his dick while pissing or the bugs he was possibly trying to swat. Oh yeah, that`s right, OP said he zapped himself while pissing, never said there were bugs. Still love the possibility. Must have taken some concentration to do this shit.