Love: Today, I went to a dance with the boy I like. To my delight,... - FML

By michellemoyah - 25/02/2012 05:04 - United States

Today, I went to a dance with the boy I like. To my delight, he tried to pick me up. To my dismay, he couldn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 366

You deserved it 6 907

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

The Lady in Red

By Anonymous - 08/06/2009 01:36 - United States

Today, I was at a party. The music changed to a slow dance. Everybody grabbed a partner and I was left on the dancefloor alone. Suddenly, this guy walked up to me. I swore that he was going to ask me to dance. He then said, "Could you hold me my drink?" and went to dance with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 202

You deserved it 3 918

By Anonymous - 08/01/2014 00:39 - United States - Salem

Today, a guy I like asked me to a dance. Trying to act modest and at the same time compliment him, I told him, "You could do so much better, though." After thinking for a moment, he replied, "You're right, I could. Never mind," and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 419

You deserved it 60 994

By Anonymous - 04/10/2009 04:06 - United States

Today, I went to my Homecoming dance. I had a great time until some fat girl kept trying to dance with my date, even though he politely asked her to stop. I decided to intervene. I found myself pinned to the floor by a fat girl crushing on my date, who was cheering her on as she tackled me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 725

You deserved it 8 795

By kylie - 15/11/2010 21:17 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were in my backyard goofing around when he tried to pick me up. He couldn't. I jokingly tried to lift him. I did so without much effort. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 485

You deserved it 7 210

By Anonymous - 21/04/2009 21:52 - United States

Today, I was at my senior dance dancing with this guy I really like. He was telling me how he likes a strong woman who's not afraid to make the first move. Empowered by what he said, I asked him out. He said no because he thinks girls shouldn't ask guys out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 063

You deserved it 5 094

Rave on

By poorclubgoer - 14/11/2009 10:11 - United States

Today, I decided to go to a club with my friends. I was flattered when an attractive guy started dancing with me. Later, I went to grab my money to pay for my dinner and realized while dancing, the very sneaky man pulled my forty dollars out of my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 701

You deserved it 5 944

By IcantDance! - 01/10/2012 16:05 - United States - Daphne

Today, although I can't dance, I decided to go to a club. A really cute girl asked me to dance, and I politely declined. She kept insisting, so I finally said okay. A few minutes in, she stopped, looked at me, and said, "If you're going to make fun of my dancing, I'm leaving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 348

You deserved it 2 731

Mixed signals, mixed results

By Anonymous - 07/09/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom - Doncaster

Today, the guy I'm in love with invited me out to a gig with him and his friends, only to then try to set me up with his friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 117

By Anonymous - 24/07/2013 16:05 - Canada - Neustadt

Today, I went to a dance and saw a really cute guy. Glow sticks were everywhere, so trying to be cute, I took a broken one and dripped some of the glowing liquid on my chest. It made him notice me, but only for him to point out that I'd managed to cut myself and was bleeding badly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 939

You deserved it 52 008

By clumsy - 07/05/2013 00:45 - United States - Murfreesboro

Today, I tried to "trip" and fall into this guy I've had a crush on. I missed and fell on my face. He stepped over me and kept walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 847

You deserved it 54 009

Next

Top comments

ambowew 7

Saturday 25 February 2012 11:50

I like 'em round, I like 'em chunky.

jerseyboy732 16

Saturday 25 February 2012 11:57

someone didn't eat his wheaties

Comments

llaman1gguhl4ugh 5

Saturday 25 February 2012 18:22

sounds like a weak boy.

williamcarter93 13

Saturday 25 February 2012 18:30

Why does it matter?!

arvale8802 1

Saturday 25 February 2012 19:55

My bf cnt lift me either :( and I'm not fat

studdmuffin1990 7

Saturday 25 February 2012 20:50

Well... I've taken a good look at Ur profile pic and I must say I don't think I could pick you up either haha

Breaker132 8

Saturday 25 February 2012 20:28

He sounds like a keeper... who gives a crap that he can't lift another person up! Certain people can do certain things better than others. For instanct, I myself can't lift another person up, no matter how much they weigh; but I can throw (any) ball very, very, very far. For all you know, he could be the world's greatest thrower. Besides, the fact that he danced with you probably means he likes you back. Don't screw up your chance.

Amajean 7

Saturday 25 February 2012 20:39

I remember when my ex tried picking me up and failed, then his little brother who is shorter and thinner picked me up over his head. Point being, just because a guy couldn't pick you up doesn't necessarily mean anything bad on your part, he could just be a weakling.

greatfirstdate 18

Saturday 25 February 2012 21:11

So what? My boyfriend tried to pick me up once and he dropped me. I took the opportunity to pull him down with me and we made out with me still lying on my back. It was awesome.

travs 0

Saturday 25 February 2012 21:42

yeeeeeee!!! studly way it's always the best when it just happens to happen perfect huh?? haha it happens to me and my girlfriend all the time but I don't drop her I lay her down and when I turn around she attacks me...she's a little feisty:D

irishman1989 0

Saturday 25 February 2012 21:34

Two things here. Either A: he's so weak he can't pick you up. Which is in no means calling you fat. Or B: you are fat and that's why he couldn't pick you up.

idspud 3

Sunday 26 February 2012 0:05

If you can pick her up you can take her home

holholmikan 11

Sunday 26 February 2012 1:17

could be a lot worse, such as picking you up then dropping you, injuring you in the process. then you wouldn't want to face him!;)

KiddNYC1O 20

Sunday 26 February 2012 4:52

I'm sexy and I know it. Repeat to self, op.

1
2
3
4
5
6

Keywords

Embarrassing Cars Transportation Relatable Awkward Work Mental health Love AITA Am I overreacting? Social Media Family Annoying Sex Intimacy Coworkers Poopoo peepee Health Dentist Cute Dogs Sleep Animals Shopping My ex Cats Clothes Job interview Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, my best friend of five years left cause I “followed them” and that made me depressed, then I couldn’t go outside or to class anymore cause I was too depressed, then my girlfriend, whom I was going to marry, left me because, you guessed it, I was too depressed. Now I’m in a mental hospital for trying to kill myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 189

Today, since I needed someone to talk to about it, I told my girlfriend how my dad was recently diagnosed with diabetes. My girlfriend's mother then told me, in graphic detail, how her father's diabetes led to his toes being hacked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 767

You deserved it 731

The Top

Today, I went to the doctor to see if she could check a lump in my vagina. She pushed the lump and asked, "Does this make you want to use the bathroom for a number 2?" I said yes. Turns out, it’s hard poop pushing against my intestines and the outside vagina wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 171

Today, my girlfriend of over a year broke up with me. Two weeks ago she complained that I didn't act like I really loved her. I then became more involved and caring just for her to show my love. The reason she broke up with me? Because I was "suffocating her with clinginess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 817

You deserved it 4 671

Today, I moved into a new apartment. While moving boxes, I ran into my supervisor from work. Guess who lives across the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 144

You deserved it 940

Today, it was my second day at my new job as a bank teller. I got locked in the vault while alarms were being tested. I was in there for an hour and none of my coworkers had even noticed that I'd gone missing. Gee, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 139

You deserved it 1 172

Today, I punched my wife in the face, because she jumped out from behind the bedroom door in the dark. I'm afraid of the dark. I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 213

You deserved it 42 104

Today, according to my doctor, I have the most stubborn case of chlamydia he’s ever encountered. It’s somehow survived three full courses of treatment, and I only caught it because my ex-fiancé is a cheating whoremonger. I may never have sex again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 364

You deserved it 172