Miscellaneous: Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance...

By Concert Flatulent - 10/07/2012 04:44 - United States - Marshall

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 992

You deserved it 29 179

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Same thing different taste

By Gob - 16/01/2009 14:36 - United States

Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 823

You deserved it 42 656

By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 05:01 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I farted at a crowded concert, and people started commenting on said fart. I specifically went out of my way to eat certain foods all day so that it wouldn't happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 306

You deserved it 2 800

By Smirky - 13/02/2017 02:30 - India - Bangalore

Today, while walking down the aisle of a movie theatre, I passed gas so loudly that the audience missed the climax of the film laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 642

You deserved it 1 720

Ight imma head out

By Anonymous - 10/10/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I was nervously observing a delicate medical procedure while training at my new job. I tried to stifle a sneeze and instead (as you can probably guess) ripped the biggest, most cartoonishly loud fart of my life. My ass sounded like a tuba and I was asked to leave the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 141

By American idol - 06/04/2011 06:19

Today, I was at a local talent show and during a piano performance I had to go to the bathroom. I sang along in the bathroom but was unaware how loud I was until I walked out and everyone started applauding me while the pianist was still playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 612

You deserved it 36 976

By anon - 04/06/2009 11:35 - United States

Today, I was performing in an orchestra concert. My stand partner and I commented on people in the audience the whole time, saying how fat they were, etc. Towards the end of the concert, I realized we were sitting right by a microphone, and the whole audience could hear us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 088

You deserved it 103 335

By gassy - 29/12/2012 09:32 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 498

You deserved it 4 634

By anonymous - 08/06/2011 16:47 - United States

Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 634

You deserved it 43 511

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 16:22 - United States - Union

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 365

You deserved it 8 112

Toot toot

By Anonymous - 08/07/2022 12:00 - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, I had a dictation test. The whole classroom was silent, but I suddenly needed to fart. Not to break the silence, I wanted to fart slowly in the hope it would be silent. It didn't make the fart less obvious, it just made it longer, so that everyone noticed and started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 399

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 10 July 2012 12:21

So you play a woodwind?

zachherbert 10

Tuesday 10 July 2012 12:22

"That's one weird sounding tuba..."

Comments

zandalee 19

Tuesday 10 July 2012 12:50

I bet there wasn't a dry eye in the house. Hilarious! Sounds like my husband.

LuckyLynx7732 5

Tuesday 10 July 2012 13:00

Classical timing you got there.

perdix 29

Tuesday 10 July 2012 13:05

Next time they do Tchaikovsky's "1812 Overture," you can volunteer to do the cannon part ;)

dewdotcom 1

Tuesday 10 July 2012 13:08

Fart in key next time

make_me_smile 4

Tuesday 10 July 2012 19:42

Fart ON key next time*

Clamcreepy 7

Tuesday 10 July 2012 13:10

You should've at least tried to make it apart of the dramatic sound like it was a punch line or in this case a fart line

dsl1123 8

Tuesday 10 July 2012 13:25

Just what is your definition of a "Dramatic Fart" ?

zandalee 19

Tuesday 10 July 2012 14:01

Very loud and sudden. Very hot and wet. Very runny and stinky. Take your pick.

Sooner5oh 3

Tuesday 10 July 2012 13:44

Always wrong timing!

nela25 23

Tuesday 10 July 2012 13:49

A lot of people on this website just have really bad timing :P

kicker42 0

Thursday 12 July 2012 7:07

you are correct nothing but bad timing and bad judgement.

abouttosleep 5

Tuesday 10 July 2012 13:57

And smell to your nose.

niall92 6

Tuesday 10 July 2012 13:57

"Since when did Mozart write for solo contrabass trombone?"

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Today, I went with my girlfriend to her parents' house. They told me I smelled of cheap vodka. When I told them I worked in a bio lab and used ethanol a lot, they said I was too stupid to do anything like that. My girlfriend broke up with me because her parents think I'm a drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 913

You deserved it 3 416

Today, I made my relationship with my boyfriend official. The guy who I liked, who'd ultimately friendzoned me, leaving me to find someone who would reciprocate my feelings, got irrationally angry at me. Didn’t he tell me just six months ago that we were “just friends”? Yeah, I'm confused too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 89

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 13 134

You deserved it 2 592

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I agree, your life sucks 35 638

You deserved it 9 555

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I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 170

Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 275

You deserved it 27 588

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I agree, your life sucks 49 741

You deserved it 3 492

Today, I discovered I'm allergic to the new perfume I bought and now I smell like a hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 149

Same thing different taste

Ight imma head out

Toot toot

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