Sex and Intimacy: Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were...

By Noname - 25/02/2009 01:20 - United States

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box saying, "Love, mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 135 974

You deserved it 24 461

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Same thing different taste

Busted

By Stacy - 21/03/2009 00:43 - United States

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 801

You deserved it 121 801

By Mary - 04/12/2011 22:47 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 022

You deserved it 4 100

By MenstruallyFrustrated - 23/07/2013 17:18 - United States - Surprise

Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 014

You deserved it 6 223

Repent!

By Mauro - 22/03/2022 16:00

Today, I told my ultra-Catholic mother that I was hanging out with a girl. While walking out of the flat, I didn't realize that I'd dropped one of my condoms out of my pocket. My mother saw it and ripped it apart, then yelled at me that, "Sex is for having children! You're giving yourselves to Satan!" I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 264

You deserved it 337

TMI FML

By eugh - 07/05/2021 14:01 - United States - Midlothian

Today, I discovered the brand of condoms my parents use. It was in the same grocery bag as my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 778

You deserved it 576

Kinda awkward

By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 01:18 - United States - Tampa

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 257

You deserved it 37 892

By Catholicguy - 20/12/2009 08:14 - United States

Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 311

You deserved it 4 553

Quickshot

By anon - 31/08/2014 15:14 - United States

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 408

You deserved it 6 030

By condom_kid - 27/07/2009 14:34 - United States

Today, my father pulled me aside right before heading off to my girlfriend's house. He said "Next time you have sex, don't leave the tied up condom in its wrapper inside your short's pocket, otherwise your mother might find it again as she's folding laundry." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 415

You deserved it 73 589

To do what?

By Anonymous - 02/04/2022 02:00 - Australia - Shailer Park

Today, I opened my boyfriend's bedside table drawer. There was a condom wrapper in there. We don't use condoms. He claims he didn’t have sex with anybody, he just wanted to put the condom over his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 065

You deserved it 204

Stupoopy 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 9:13

You should go to your mom in two weeks and be like "MOM I THINK THE CONDOMS I HAD DIDN'T WORK! NOW IM PREGNANT!" and then we'll see who's laughing.

curious_missy 1

Wednesday 25 February 2009 9:19

bill her for the replacement condom! Also write Love, Your Safe Daughter

Comments

Reddeaded 5

Friday 1 July 2011 19:14

cockblocked FTW! that sucks

mofran 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 6:14

they make Jesus pins?

Krennicus 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 18:05

Everyone should have a few so someone is prepared.

Krennicus 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 18:17

Since when does not having condoms stop kids from having sex? Look at Texas. Biggest supporter for abstainance only education; highest unwanted pregnancy, abortion, and STD spread rate. This is true for all areas; the less support for contraceptives; the more unsafe sex.

fuxxx_fml 0

Tuesday 20 December 2011 23:28

You should have had sex anyway and gotten pregnant

Darwin03 1

Wednesday 21 December 2011 15:14

Taking it a little far. But I still like the ideas. Did you get "some anyways"?

OctoberRainfall 13

Thursday 5 January 2012 19:53

you can get jesus pins?

zandraswagg 1

Wednesday 25 January 2012 22:24

That is ******* awesome.

charliewetsidege 2

Thursday 2 February 2012 3:35

shes just religous, if i were her i would of poked holes then let you use them. thats how i tricked my sister into having 3 accidental children. needless to say she got kicked out of the house, gave up on her dream to become a nurse, and now has 4 jobs. be glad your moms not has mean has me.