Intimacy: Today, I went to my girlfriend's sorority formal, we were both...

By Lootz - 03/05/2009 17:10 - United States

Today, I went to my girlfriend's sorority formal, we were both drunk. We went into the bathroom, she started to give me head. After about 30 seconds the song changes and she jumps up and goes out to dance, leaving me there. Door open. Penis out. It was the song she requested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 389

You deserved it 20 166

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Same thing different taste

By depressed - 22/02/2010 07:23 - United States

Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 823

You deserved it 26 498

Crazy best friend

By Anonymous - 05/12/2019 18:00

Today, I was in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, and my drunk best friend knocked on our door. We screamed 'go away' and she still opened the door. She then saw us, and asked if she can join. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 725

You deserved it 744

By H-B - 28/04/2009 08:53 - United States

Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 603

You deserved it 88 957

By Bliss - 09/02/2009 18:24 - United States

Today, I gave my drink to a girl who I got with previously and started to dance with her. She backed off after a few seconds, took my drink and danced with my friend who was standing right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 014

You deserved it 5 916

By scatter00x - 08/02/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 094

You deserved it 7 095

Tasty

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 20:00

Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 297

Karaoke Dinner Disaster

By Jonathan Park - 05/03/2020 09:06 - Canada - Richmond Hill

Today, I went on a first date. She got plastered within the first hour, then a song came on in the restaurant and she told me, "This song's about meeeeee." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 444

You deserved it 177

By cumguzzler - 06/03/2009 16:14 - United States

Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 711

You deserved it 11 940

Careless Whisper?

By InsultToInjury - 28/12/2018 04:00

Today, I had a one night stand. After her laying there without moving for ages, she impatiently asked if I'd finished. Once she got bored and told me to just finish myself off, her song playlist began playing "Never Gonna Dance Again". Very romantic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 110

You deserved it 1 247

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 05:20 - United States

Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 623

You deserved it 4 799

trackrunner525 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 23:05

lmao, that sucks man...blue balls :-p

coloradodude12 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 23:06

Ouch. But she was drunk.

Comments

coolbeanz90 0

Monday 4 May 2009 7:24

HAHA! Did you expect her to finish when her SONG came on? pfft. C'mon!

satanicminnow1 1

Monday 4 May 2009 8:17

70 you're ******* retarded.

Audio828 2

Monday 4 May 2009 9:37

Hey 96 thanks for the wall of text. Your critical analysis of a FML is severely needed.

Subtext 10

Monday 4 May 2009 9:48

Yeah, and while we are bashing him, let's put on a nice fire and burn the damn witch!

randomyup 0

Monday 4 May 2009 10:39

ohhh wow that sucks for you!! better luck next time bud!

babydoll86_fml 0

Monday 4 May 2009 12:27

Requested song being played >>>> ******* End of story, buddy. Sorry.

humpty_dumpty_fml 0

Monday 4 May 2009 14:14

everyone knows you can't trust a drunk chick, there's no surprise there...:)

ammali 0

Monday 4 May 2009 14:30

I would say she's a bitch, BUT seeing as you were both drunk, she may not even remember doing it. I'm sure she wouldn't have done that if she were sober.