Intimacy: Today, I went to my new gynecologist. He has an eye twitch, and... - FML

By Anonymous - 15/08/2014 03:35 - United States - Brandon

Spicy

Today, I went to my new gynecologist. He has an eye twitch, and every time he asks about my genitals, he winks at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 025

You deserved it 4 342

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Same thing different taste

Jim Henson lives

By Anonymous - 20/04/2009 17:55 - United States

Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 468

You deserved it 5 128

By Anonymous - 06/12/2010 14:38 - United States

Today, I found out a guy I work with has an eye twitch. I thought he was just a winker. I have been winking back all week. He either thinks I'm an asshole or am trying to seduce him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 435

You deserved it 23 525

By Anonymous - 09/04/2013 18:01 - United States

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 052

You deserved it 5 410

By manlyman - 05/04/2009 13:32 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I are having some fertility problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said, "Mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 309

You deserved it 5 309

By jons - 17/02/2009 21:54 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 518

You deserved it 3 608

By Brianna Michelle Ferrell - 18/09/2018 13:30

Today, I went on a date with a guy and he kept winking at me. I thought it was really sweet until later that night he told me he had Tourette's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 550

You deserved it 353

Of course not

By Mona Lisa was a skank-ass ho - 24/05/2015 15:56 - United Kingdom - Cheadle

Spicy

Today, my new doctor asked if I'm sexually active. I said no. He nodded and murmured "No surprise there." Thanks, mate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 504

You deserved it 2 722

By blehhh - 04/04/2009 03:10 - United States

Today, I went to see my gynecologist. She was writing my symptoms up in my chart on her computer. After a little while, I noticed that she had a confused look on her face and was reading something instead. When I took a peek at the computer screen, I saw that she was Googling my symptoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 246

You deserved it 4 583

Fingered

By Anonymous - 03/07/2023 19:00 - Finland - Tampere

Spicy

Today, I went to see a doctor because of some blood in my stool. Not only is the matter embarrassing enough as is, it turned out the doctor was a young, crisply dressed, extremely handsome man. I then had his finger in my ass for a check-up, all the while him being very nice about it. I'm still mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 215

It's been a while

By Anonymous - 03/10/2021 05:00 - United States - Perkasie

Spicy

Today, I finally had someone else touch my man parts. It was my doctor, checking for testicular cancer and a hernia, as part of my yearly physical. He's the only person other than myself to touch my junk in the last 4 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 124

You deserved it 227

Next

Top comments

RenoTheRhino 30

Friday 15 August 2014 18:43

Wink back at him next time and see what he does.

CeCe184 17

Friday 15 August 2014 18:43

What a good excuse.

Comments

Jonasbrink1 5

Saturday 16 August 2014 1:40

Plot twist, he doesn't have an eye problem, he just likes winking!

octinate 17

Monday 18 August 2014 0:57

#43 that's not really a twist

mosquito19 14

Saturday 16 August 2014 3:36

he may have mild form of Tourette syndrome.

martin8337 35

Saturday 16 August 2014 4:13

Giggity? Not sure.

ZTPartin 17

Saturday 16 August 2014 4:58

"Twitch"

csjmcc 11

Saturday 16 August 2014 9:27

"Eye twitch" riiiight ;)

jerryj 27

Saturday 16 August 2014 9:36

At least it's only his eye twitching and nothing else.

kimespinosa 13

Sunday 17 August 2014 10:33

ONFFJJFJSJ

ladydemoon 8

Sunday 17 August 2014 20:09

I would find a new new gynecologist

AcieMcG 21

Monday 18 August 2014 5:36

Why I don't like going to a male gyno

Kamp_West 11

Monday 6 October 2014 9:34

for my first pap smear, the doctor was cross-eyed. every few minutes he would pop up from between my legs to talk to me, but he wasn't looking at me. freaked me out so badly that it took a couple years before i could convince myself to go back.

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend was on top in reverse cowgirl. After she orgasmed, all I heard was, "Oh fuck" and she clenched her butt to try stop, but it was too late, she shot diarrhoea up my stomach, chest and neck. The only reason I didn’t get any in my mouth was because it all got caught in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 079

You deserved it 410

Today, and ever since I told my wife I had sacked my secretary, a pretty redhead, I’ve noticed my wife has started reverting to her old habit of getting headaches on Fridays, which is normally sex night. Funny how this wasn’t a problem when I had a pretty secretary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 994

You deserved it 1 050

The Top

Today, I met a guy in a bar. He was sweet and funny so I asked him out for coffee later. He quickly turned me down, saying that I didn't even meet his first requirement. His first requirement was "looks like a girl." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 377

You deserved it 4 420

Today, I got reprimanded by my boss for saying "It's a stab in the dark, though." According to him, it's a euphemism for anal sex and I was being offensive to a gay colleague, the same one who kept insisting it was no problem. I got written up anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 527

You deserved it 2 470

Today, in an effort to save some money, I attempted to paint my own house. Instead, I fell off the ladder and broke my dominant arm. Now I can’t work, brush my teeth, or even wipe my ass. My house is half-painted with stuff everywhere and I have 6 weeks to recover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 777

You deserved it 270

Today, I took my Spanish test, and I felt very confident. I got the test back later, and saw my teacher had written on it: "Congrats on the 94%, but I know you cheated." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 934

You deserved it 7 453

Today, my 20-day summer break started. It was also the day my entire family, including me, tested positive for Covid. I'm typing this in an isolation ward. There goes my summer break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 165

Today, I got a report telling me how I had handled a mystery shopper at work. In this report, I found out that instead of saying, "Thank you" I'd said, "Have a nice day, take care." This kept me from getting a $150 bonus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 315

You deserved it 3 012