Miscellaneous: Today, I went to Safeway. The security guard wouldn't stop staring...

By ilovezim29 - 03/06/2012 07:45 - United States - Windsor

Today, I went to Safeway. The security guard wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. When I confronted him about it he told me that they looked fake and he was making sure I didn't stuff my bra with stolen items. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 884

You deserved it 4 880

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Kinda sus

By embarrassed - 03/07/2010 07:14 - Australia

Today, I went out with my boyfriend and thought I'd wear two bras under my singlet-top to make my chest look bigger. Upon leaving Target, one of the security guards noticed the extra straps and accused me of shoplifting. I had to spend the next 20 minutes explaining the situation to security. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 347

You deserved it 47 114

Smugglers unite

By atang - 09/04/2009 09:16 - United States

Today, I was leaving a clothing store when the security guard stopped me and demanded that I surrender the clothing I was "trying to steal" by hiding it under my shirt. It turns out, he was just looking at my pot belly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 941

You deserved it 11 455

By what_the_hell - 20/06/2013 08:35 - Finland - Helsinki

Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 864

You deserved it 3 600

J'accuse !

By Anonymous - 10/08/2010 21:34 - United States

Today, I was shopping at a store from which I had previously bought a shirt. The clerk accused me of trying to steal my own shirt and called security. They examined it and argued with me for so long I was late to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 188

You deserved it 3 011

By yeasty - 06/07/2009 00:06 - United States

Today, I went to the drug store to pick up some Monistat for a yeast infection. As I was leaving the store, the security alarm went off. The attractive security guard asked to see my receipt, smiled, told me I looked nice, so I handed him the receipt. His face then abruptly changed to a look of disgust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 072

You deserved it 4 547

By Anonymous - 27/11/2013 17:51 - United States - Poquoson

Today, I was visiting a family member at a women's prison. The staff wanted to search me, basically claiming that my breasts looked suspiciously disproportionate, implying I was smuggling something in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 391

You deserved it 4 235

By Anonymous - 02/04/2011 21:05 - United States

Today, while shopping, I was grabbed and dragged off to a security room with no warning. Apparently, the way I was dressed and walking was suspicious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 529

You deserved it 5 067

Check these out

By doubleds - 03/06/2009 19:39 - Canada

Today, I was buying an expensive pillow for my mother from a store clerk who wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. After paying, I saw an elderly lady who had dropped a bag, so I walked to help. I walked back to the clerk, who refused to believe I paid. The reason? He didn't recognize my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 540

You deserved it 5 680

It is though

By Timv86 - 16/02/2010 08:18 - Australia

Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yelled at the top of her voice, "Stop following me, you freak." I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 989

You deserved it 3 093

The cat's out of the bag

By Anonymous - 26/03/2024 14:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I was shopping with my husband. At the self-checkout, one of the items I was buying for him as a gift didn’t register. As we were walking out, I get stopped and escorted to the loss prevention office, where I was accused of stealing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 368

theamazingone_12 7

Sunday 3 June 2012 16:43

you obviously have nice boobs

Rommel1942 9

Sunday 3 June 2012 16:42

Hahaha. Gotta love the stupid excuses people make these days

Comments

XxAnnie23xX 15

Sunday 3 June 2012 16:46

I clicked yes to this :D! But seriously fyl he just wants an excuse to look at your boobs.

brunogtz 4

Sunday 3 June 2012 17:14

thank you, without your comment i would have never known that

esines 9

Sunday 3 June 2012 17:19

Oh no a man was looking at her boobs :(. Her life is ****** for sure now

ghostlilac 25

Sunday 3 June 2012 16:47

Either that happens a lot, or he's just a quick thinker lol

Zomg_Okay 26

Sunday 3 June 2012 16:48

Secutity? I see what you did there, OP.

Zedd_fml 8

Sunday 3 June 2012 19:24

Or a FBI- female boob inspector.

BumbleBug 0

Monday 4 June 2012 0:50

OP wrote security

SliceOfCake 9

Monday 4 June 2012 1:10

136 - we realize. Read the comment again and facepalm.

Zomg_Okay 26

Monday 4 June 2012 1:52

136 - One of the mods corrected the spelling but the original FML read "secutity".

BumbleBug 0

Monday 4 June 2012 3:30

I knew something was wrong. Thanks for the info

valdancer99 0

Sunday 3 June 2012 16:48

Well... Are they fake?

TattleTale 8

Sunday 3 June 2012 16:51

Well obviously he had to check your boobs if he is the secutity guard.

melons 44

Sunday 3 June 2012 17:49

I was wondering if anyone would notice that...

Jumpingmal2 7

Sunday 3 June 2012 22:20

^ melons Has the perfect name and picture for this FML

debbster7 18

Sunday 3 June 2012 16:51

You've got to admit though. That was pretty clever. ;)

Awsumuzzie 12

Sunday 3 June 2012 16:52

That's so depressing... Here, let me take this problem off your chest and I'll carry it for you.

itsme1321 3

Sunday 3 June 2012 16:54

You probably should've splurged for the good surgeon...fake **** aren't supposed to LOOK fake :/

perdix 29

Sunday 3 June 2012 16:55

My interest in this story depends on the suspected stolen items: Raisins - not interested Plums - a little bit interested Apples - getting more interested Grapefruit - very interested Cucumbers - grossed out Watermelons - fascinated, but more comically than sexually.