Intimacy: Today, I went to the bathroom and used the urinal. When I was...

By randm1 - 02/12/2009 19:09 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom and used the urinal. When I was done, I closed my zipper on my foreskin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 121

You deserved it 8 726

St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Bobby M - 16/05/2011 16:33 - Ireland

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 534

You deserved it 10 688

By loser - 10/10/2009 20:45 - France

Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done I went to zip up when I realized I never unzipped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 605

You deserved it 61 301

By Anonymous - 15/05/2018 01:30

Today, I really had to pee at work and rushed to the urinal. I unzipped but couldn't find the hole in the front of my boxers and ended up pissing my pants. I had put my boxers on backwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 467

You deserved it 3 719

By Anonymous - 21/03/2012 04:50 - Canada

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 601

You deserved it 22 047

By itwaswarm - 25/09/2015 21:04 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 629

You deserved it 1 756

By not cool - 28/06/2013 05:16 - Australia - Sunnybank

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 825

You deserved it 3 178

By DrewK - 14/05/2013 20:09 - United States - Great Falls

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 888

You deserved it 4 527

By NotALuckyGuy - 07/04/2015 16:19 - United States - Columbus

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 034

You deserved it 47 407

By Anonymous - 01/05/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, I had to pee really bad so I tried to unlock my door as fast as I could. I put my key in and turned it too hard, the key snapped inside. I ended up peeing on myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 902

You deserved it 13 670

By pantyripper - 24/03/2014 12:39 - Australia - Essendon

Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 316

You deserved it 21 680

blland 0

Wednesday 2 December 2009 23:45

lucky. imagine doing that without foreskin...

ChristinaLuv 0

Thursday 3 December 2009 18:07

penises are ugly either way.. and i think they're nicer with a foreskin

Comments

macancheeese 0

Friday 2 September 2011 8:47

Circumcision FTW!!!!

downie98 1

Friday 14 October 2011 9:56

Unlucky hahaha but that hurts like a bitch!!!

Goodlife918975 6

Sunday 16 October 2011 2:59

Been there done that

bagleface 6

Friday 9 December 2011 7:45

One of the worst pains a man can feel

BullletProof 5

Friday 27 January 2012 4:49

Sucks, but ydi a bit for not being more careful. make sure its in your pants all the way before you zip silly :)

ImTheAlpha 30

Sunday 4 March 2012 7:16

Oooh, I'm a girl and even I knøw that's gøtta hurt a LOT. Ouch...

shinshoku13 19

Saturday 21 April 2012 19:10

No underwear?

gfoxx17 0

Sunday 29 April 2012 23:55

That would mean you weren't wearing underwear....bullshit

cheeseman801 4

Friday 11 May 2012 7:37

Ooh,I hear you. That's happened to me before and I'm circumsized!!!

trollololurface 2

Monday 18 June 2012 6:30

Ahh circumcision is the way me friend

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Work Break-ups Love Relatable I need your advice Awkward Engagement Coworkers School Parenting Kids Parents Birthday Food Messy Miscellaneous Cooking Cats Dance Embarrassing Weddings Texting Poopoo peepee Health Clumsy Clothes Mental health Annoying Noise Lonely

The Top

Today, I got home at 2am. It was dark but I heard my fiancé in the kitchen, so I went and kissed her, and grabbed both ass cheeks. Normally this would turn her on, but she screamed and turned on the lights. It was my sister. I groped my sister's ass. Why was she in my house in the dark at 2am? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 245

Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 435

You deserved it 30 648

The Top

Today, I was cut off from my government-funded drug program that used to pay half of my medication costs. They said I don't pay enough of a percentage of my wages on medication. I'd be on a higher dosage if I could afford it. I'm still poor and I'm definitely still bipolar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 109

Today, returning home from a party, I realised I'd forgotten my keys. My roommate was sleeping so soundly that after an hour of throwing gravel and ringing the doorbell, I had to give up and get a room at the hotel over the road. For €85 I had a view of my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 109

Today, I found out, after having my third and last child, that I'm balding. I'm only 23 and quite frankly It's very much noticeable. How did I find out? My four-year-old daughter pointed it out to me, saying, "Mommy, why you shed like the dog?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 250

Today, my mom proudly told me that she found the perfect thing to combat my B.O. Extra strength degreaser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 317

You deserved it 232

Today, after getting home from work late last night and feeling lazy, I'd put my leftover dinner in the microwave, spoon and all. I wake up to find one of the kids started the microwave and it blew up because of the metal spoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 2 680

Today, at the soup kitchen I volunteer at, a guy called the food crap and threatened to shove his bowl up my ass if I didn't give him something better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 229

You deserved it 2 694

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Comments