Intimacy: Today, I went to the bathroom and used the urinal. When I was...

By randm1 - 02/12/2009 19:09 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom and used the urinal. When I was done, I closed my zipper on my foreskin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 116

You deserved it 8 725

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Same thing different taste

By Bobby M - 16/05/2011 16:33 - Ireland

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 525

You deserved it 10 688

By loser - 10/10/2009 20:45 - France

Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done I went to zip up when I realized I never unzipped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 604

You deserved it 61 299

By Anonymous - 15/05/2018 01:30

Today, I really had to pee at work and rushed to the urinal. I unzipped but couldn't find the hole in the front of my boxers and ended up pissing my pants. I had put my boxers on backwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 464

You deserved it 3 713

By Anonymous - 21/03/2012 04:50 - Canada

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 596

You deserved it 22 043

By itwaswarm - 25/09/2015 21:04 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 619

You deserved it 1 755

By not cool - 28/06/2013 05:16 - Australia - Sunnybank

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 825

You deserved it 3 178

By DrewK - 14/05/2013 20:09 - United States - Great Falls

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 888

You deserved it 4 526

By NotALuckyGuy - 07/04/2015 16:19 - United States - Columbus

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 033

You deserved it 47 400

By Anonymous - 01/05/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, I had to pee really bad so I tried to unlock my door as fast as I could. I put my key in and turned it too hard, the key snapped inside. I ended up peeing on myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 898

You deserved it 13 670

By pantyripper - 24/03/2014 12:39 - Australia - Essendon

Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 312

You deserved it 21 673

blland 0

Wednesday 2 December 2009 23:45

lucky. imagine doing that without foreskin...

ChristinaLuv 0

Thursday 3 December 2009 18:07

penises are ugly either way.. and i think they're nicer with a foreskin

Comments

abudali911 3

Wednesday 16 December 2009 4:35

39 got that from manswers

AmyLovesJoel 0

Sunday 20 December 2009 9:39

ew foreskin

rasello 0

Thursday 24 December 2009 5:32

ah god that sucks... i'm curcumsised and have done that before...let's just say that masturbation was NOWHERE to be found in my mind for a week

everyone1232 0

Saturday 26 December 2009 9:28

ahh, that made me cringe

Drago1 0

Saturday 26 December 2009 15:29

I belive I read that in a military hand book some were actully. Not sure which military hand book tho. But yes was on that tv show to.

LongLuk 0

Monday 28 December 2009 1:43

xxxrawrxxximxxx 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 21:00

is that like, forehead skin?

nobridgejustwate 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 1:10

....*facepalm*

minenotyours 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 8:24

"There's Something About Mary" anyone?

Bertha5 0

Thursday 31 December 2009 5:52

have u ever used a urinal b4? haa loser.

Macadamia_fml 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 5:10

There's Something About Mary, much? Hahahahaha

Keywords

Awkward Lonely Love Party Cars ADHD Transportation Ironic Vacation Work Mental health Accident Miscellaneous Grandparents Annoying Covid Health Kids Shopping Cute Coworkers Dogs Animals Photography Art Videos Exhausted Sex Intimacy Money

The Top

Today, a girl was tailgating me, even though I was going at speed limit. Annoyed, I drove 10 mph under the speed limit, and every time she honked, I went 5 mph slower. Too bad she got the last laugh… I was pulled over for "reckless driving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 007

You deserved it 47 415

Today, I invited my mom over for lunch so we could discuss how she broke my trust while she last babysat for me, and that as a result she won’t be babysitting for a little while. She then yelled at me and told me I was being disrespectful and dramatic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 111

The Top

Today, I accidentally deleted my YouTube account because I was trying to eliminate distractions from school. My dumb self eventually realized all I had to do was stop uploading, and return to it during my vacation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 1 025

Today, I had a nasty headache so I tried to take a nap. Unfortunately, my college had a homecoming parade a block away from where I live. I never knew our marching band sounded that awful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 427

You deserved it 298

Today, I decided to surprise my wife at her softball game. I saw her distinctive motorcycle jacket through the canvas dugout wall and decided that I would feel her up from behind, to surprise her. She lent her jacket to a friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 172

You deserved it 11 512

Today, I went to the local street fair and ran into my boyfriend of five years. He was with his girlfriend of ten years. We both had no idea about each other. His family knew we both existed, and never said a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 619

You deserved it 139

Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he dated me was because he was lonely, and I looked lonely enough to like him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 724

You deserved it 161

Today, I discovered my water bottle had leaked and spilled water all over my backpack, ruining my notebooks, soaking my schoolbooks, and destroying my midterm portfolio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 807

You deserved it 5 724

Same thing different taste

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