Intimacy: Today, I went to the bathroom and used the urinal. When I was...

By randm1 - 02/12/2009 19:09 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom and used the urinal. When I was done, I closed my zipper on my foreskin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 121

You deserved it 8 726

Women's Day: Equality and Laughter
Stories that celebrate women in a light-hearted and humorous way, because equality can also be a source of joy! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Bobby M - 16/05/2011 16:33 - Ireland

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 534

You deserved it 10 688

By loser - 10/10/2009 20:45 - France

Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done I went to zip up when I realized I never unzipped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 605

You deserved it 61 301

By Anonymous - 15/05/2018 01:30

Today, I really had to pee at work and rushed to the urinal. I unzipped but couldn't find the hole in the front of my boxers and ended up pissing my pants. I had put my boxers on backwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 467

You deserved it 3 719

By Anonymous - 21/03/2012 04:50 - Canada

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 601

You deserved it 22 047

By itwaswarm - 25/09/2015 21:04 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 629

You deserved it 1 756

By not cool - 28/06/2013 05:16 - Australia - Sunnybank

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 825

You deserved it 3 178

By DrewK - 14/05/2013 20:09 - United States - Great Falls

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 888

You deserved it 4 527

By NotALuckyGuy - 07/04/2015 16:19 - United States - Columbus

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 034

You deserved it 47 407

By Anonymous - 01/05/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, I had to pee really bad so I tried to unlock my door as fast as I could. I put my key in and turned it too hard, the key snapped inside. I ended up peeing on myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 902

You deserved it 13 670

By pantyripper - 24/03/2014 12:39 - Australia - Essendon

Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 316

You deserved it 21 680

blland 0

Wednesday 2 December 2009 23:45

lucky. imagine doing that without foreskin...

ChristinaLuv 0

Thursday 3 December 2009 18:07

penises are ugly either way.. and i think they're nicer with a foreskin

Comments

twisted775 0

Sunday 1 July 2012 23:17

"is it the frank or the beans?"

vlaws17 5

Friday 20 July 2012 23:59

No underwear, huh?

MrSarary 26

Saturday 1 September 2012 16:40

That's why I got rid of my foreskin

deathbydaniel 9

Monday 15 October 2012 18:48

And that's why you wear underwear.

t_fml 11

Sunday 10 March 2013 21:55

Wtf? Why do you have a foreskin?

HitchHiker42 18

Sunday 7 April 2013 0:43

Every guy just read this and cringed.

CzarLaval 9

Wednesday 28 May 2014 23:43

What are you 5 and sorry if you are .. But pay attention to your junk ***** important man!

EliceCarlin 8

Thursday 19 June 2014 6:47

Something about Mary style

CrusherKitty 17

Sunday 7 September 2014 10:14

The stuff Jewish males don't have to worry about, eh?

HUGBUG 23

Monday 8 June 2015 3:09

OUCH

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Break-ups Love Relatable Work Engagement Coworkers I need your advice Awkward Parents School Parenting Kids Birthday Miscellaneous Cooking Cats Food Messy Embarrassing Weddings Dance Texting Health Poopoo peepee Clumsy Clothes Mental health Annoying Noise Money

The Top

Today, I was making love to my wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 221

You deserved it 11 928

Today, I was eating whilst driving. I tried to stop sauce from spilling on the console and instead smashed into a parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 1 421

The Top

Today, I found out why you never leave wet leather shoes in a van when it's over 90 degrees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 1 268

Today, a guy took me out on a date. His imaginary friends joined us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 284

You deserved it 3 680

Today, I sent a voice memo of me singing off-key to my boss instead of the actual work-related attachment. My boss replied, "Don't get your hopes up, so stick to your day job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 718

Today, I’m bisexual. My straight friends think it’s a phase and I should just "pick one". My LGBTQ friends think I’m straight and should stop "posing". I’m regularly accused of trying to steal people's partners or asked to join marital threesomes. Can’t I just be a regular person? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 512

You deserved it 443

Today, I got a phone call from the psychiatrist I had an appointment with next week, telling me that they need to postpone, and the next available session is in three months. This is the fourth time this has happened to me in the last year, with the third doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 75

Today, I dug out the 5 fancy, extremely expensive candles I bought during Black Friday. I lit one up, and was delighted that it smelled so great. My mother then walked into my room and stated that it smelled "like shit". The other four were going to be a Christmas gift for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 592

You deserved it 3 710

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Comments