Intimacy: Today, I went to the midnight premiere of Angels and Demons....

By Langdon - 15/05/2009 07:08 - United States

Today, I went to the midnight premiere of Angels and Demons. A hobo wandered into the theater and sat down behind me. I paid $10 to spend two and a half hours listening to a crazy man talk to himself and kick my chair while he loudly masturbated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 782

You deserved it 9 618

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Same thing different taste

By beachbumb8538 - 15/07/2011 17:01 - United States

Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 751

You deserved it 5 271

By dcait_1196 - 16/10/2010 13:14 - France

Today, I went to see Jackass 3 in 3D. While the previews were playing, some guy sitting next to me leaned over and began telling me what happens in every scene, completely ruining the movie for me. He tried to get my number afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 187

You deserved it 4 433

By Anonymous - 13/09/2010 20:52 - United States

Today, I was late to a sold out movie in the theater, so I had to shuffle in during the previews in the dark. I sat down in what I thought was the last vacant seat, but I'd really just sat in a small woman's lap. She was not happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 414

You deserved it 13 003

This isn't very romantic or comedic

By Anonymous - 09/08/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I went to the movies and accidentally walked into the wrong theater. I sat through an entire horror film, thinking it was supposed to be a rom-com. I kept waiting for the romantic twist. It never came. Satanic haunted dolls or whatever they were did, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 589

Dude, STFU!

By Cyberdeeder - 13/10/2008 08:19

Today, at the cinema, I sat next to a guy who couldn’t stand a minute without laughing or making comments about the film. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 132

You deserved it 20 269

By anonymous - 17/12/2011 02:06 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 036

You deserved it 2 529

By Nikki - 15/10/2009 01:47 - Canada

Today, this guy and I went on a date to the movies. We got up to the desk and I asked for one ticket for 'Jennifer's Body.' The guy moved his way in front of me and said, "make that two tickets." He then walked away to look at movie posters and left me with the $22.50 charge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 240

You deserved it 6 724

By Anonymous - 24/01/2011 00:07 - United States

Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 877

You deserved it 7 163

By zaynemaliksvagina - 24/06/2015 17:10 - United States - Shrewsbury

Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 423

You deserved it 1 891

By sheyo - 05/03/2009 01:13 - Canada

Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 506

You deserved it 315 130

nuked 0

Friday 15 May 2009 16:07

Maybe get him kicked out? Idiot...

WickedAwsum 0

Friday 15 May 2009 16:06

Well #1, we don't like you. You could have gotten a person who worked there to get him removed or something, or move seats?

Comments

GemmARR 0

Friday 15 May 2009 22:24

Ewww. That guy must really love Tom Hanks.

rukusrazor 0

Friday 15 May 2009 22:26

so did he finish in your hair?

littlemuffet 0

Friday 15 May 2009 22:26

Bullshit. Who the hell wouldn't leave that situation immediately? And if it were a premiere, there probably wouldn't even be an available seat for the hobo to wander into.

goldfalsebond 0

Friday 15 May 2009 22:27

okay, number 148, bullshit. see? I said it. ITS THE ******* INTERNET!!!!! look I just said ****. I will also say ****, **** bitch, *****, shit, dick, ass, hell, pussy, douche, fucktard, dyke, and global warming does not exist. Yeah I went there.

pete275 0

Friday 15 May 2009 22:30

YDI for watching "Angels & Demons"

BVWhiTeBoY 0

Friday 15 May 2009 22:32

I highly doubt the guy was whacking it. Talking to himself, yea, kicking your chair, ok, but beating his dick in a movie theater packed full of people where no one said a god damn word, bullshit.

leero 0

Friday 15 May 2009 22:34

I'm pretty sure you could have gotten yourself a free ticket somehow. Then you could have seen the movie twice.

Sgt_Schadenfreud 0

Friday 15 May 2009 22:38

Probably more entertaining than the actual film.

star_ver 0

Friday 15 May 2009 22:41

YDI. By the time this comment gets posted, you should know why so I'm not even going to say it. YDI.

_mcs_ 0

Friday 15 May 2009 22:48

YDI for so many reasons. If he was a hobo, why would he be spending his little money (if any at all) on a movie? You could have told one of the employees there that you think he snuck in, and they'd check him for a ticket. You also could have complained to one of the employees and he would have been removed from the theatre. You even could have just moved seats.