Miscellaneous: Today, I witnessed my dad spreading his ass cheeks to show my...

By smf_ds - 31/07/2015 20:48 - Portugal - Rebordosa

Today, I witnessed my dad spreading his ass cheeks to show my mom the rashes his hemorrhoids are giving him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 074

You deserved it 2 225

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Same thing different taste

By imblue42 - 24/06/2015 05:16 - United States

Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 246

You deserved it 3 701

By not as scarred as he should be - 18/10/2012 18:19 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 766

You deserved it 3 342

By Anonymous - 19/02/2010 00:44 - United States

Today, I had to help my dad remove a splinter. From his butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 067

You deserved it 2 805

By maruskasommers - 09/01/2012 09:39 - Czech Republic

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 309

You deserved it 2 711

By Anonymous - 23/09/2018 17:30

Today, my dad's new medicine for his bad intestines makes him fart so hard I can feel the vibrations through the floorboards. The whole house smells like an open sewer and he thinks it's funny. He now has to change his undies several times a day from repeatedly shitting himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 032

You deserved it 194

By RectalSteve - 10/09/2017 20:00 - United Kingdom - Belfast

Today, I showed my girlfriend some old home videos of me as a kid. My dad must have taped over one though, because halfway through it cut to extremely graphic footage of his colonoscopy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 564

You deserved it 286

By Anonymous - 02/03/2016 05:06 - United States - Miami

Today, at work, man who was buying medicine for his son came up to me for help. He didn't know how to explain it to me, so instead he showed me a picture of a rash on his kid's butthole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 777

You deserved it 1 686

Digging it

By blech - 08/12/2014 23:08 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I witnessed my dad rummage through his nostrils, thoughtfully examine the contents, and flick them nonchalantly onto the carpet. All of this he did with the biggest demented grin on his face. Sadly, this has become a regular occurrence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 766

You deserved it 2 560

Mortifying

By whatashame - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my dad was on the couch and I sat down next to him. As I was reading a text message, I saw my dad's fat stomach sticking out so I patted it. After the first two pats, I realized I was patting in the wrong place. I patted the family jewels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 557

You deserved it 80 740

By Anonymous - 13/03/2016 04:31 - United States - Havertown

Today, my dad had fun embarrassing me as much as possible in my parent-teacher conference by moaning whenever the teacher talked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 494

You deserved it 1 513

NotGabe 28

Saturday 1 August 2015 8:28

That's true love.

5secondsofvvifi 21

Saturday 1 August 2015 8:30

Pass the brain bleach.

Comments

iiTzNeeNerz 26

Saturday 1 August 2015 8:55

That's the kind of image that gets burned into your brain. I mean, etched into your eyeballs so deep that you see it every time you close your eyes... *shudders in horror*

Catdragon 40

Saturday 1 August 2015 8:58

just earlier today my mom asked me to help her pour peroxide on her ass wound. no way was I going to dig through her ass cheeks to find the wound.

little_aliceee 17

Saturday 1 August 2015 8:59

Relationship goal!!! I want to marry someone who won't get disgusted when I get sick, even after many years being together.

NineeCat 32

Saturday 1 August 2015 8:59

Oh, the bliss of married life!

worldclassrager 39

Saturday 1 August 2015 9:47

Please say you walked in at the wrong moment...or did he just randomly just think of that...

Xion0014 20

Saturday 1 August 2015 10:02

Awkward..

KhaleesiKitten 14

Saturday 1 August 2015 10:50

I have to help me SO with their heat rash... shit like that happens. just remember, your mom had sex with him.

chuchusheep 19

Saturday 1 August 2015 12:53

me too.

lovelockdown23 23

Saturday 1 August 2015 12:53

aww. That's true love right there. Relationship goals =)

bradoiler 15

Saturday 1 August 2015 12:57

ahhh love

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Gross Animals Cats Awkward Smells Love Miscellaneous Embarrassing Painful Health First Dates Work Christmas Grieving Social Media Music Boredom Anniversary Intimacy Ironic Abuse AITA Transportation Am I overreacting? Alcohol Drunk Kids Gun control Parents

The Top

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 64

Today, was my birthday. My friends love to play pranks on me, so when I entered the door for my surprise party, I became aware of the surroundings. There was nothing. Everyone was staring as I slowly entered the room. When I closed the door behind me, a freaking bucket of pee fell all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 205

You deserved it 5 718

The Top

Today, I'm still freshly circumcised. My penis is still very sensitive, and I can't squat to grab stuff off the floor because of the pressure against my jeans. Kicking the objects up into my hands was working well, that is until I spilled a pack of 300 toothpicks all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 998

You deserved it 7 882

Today, I discovered the effect the cream has that my mom gave me. It was for my acne and it worked, in a way. Instead of having a lot of little pimples, I now just have a few gigantic ones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 188

You deserved it 817

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 625

You deserved it 48 840

Today, while discussing my grades with my mother, she told me that when she was my age she was dumb but hardworking, and my dad was lazy but very smart. She then added, "You managed to get the worst out of each of us." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 811

You deserved it 3 746

Today, one of my students corrected the problem I had solved on the board, explaining that you do multiplication before subtraction. I teach the second grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 308

You deserved it 54 650

Today, after weeks of wondering if my cat has a fetish for licking my bed covers, I finally witnessed him licking up an ant off of the covers. Turns out that my bed is infested with ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 865

You deserved it 5 380

Same thing different taste

Digging it

Mortifying

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