Intimacy: Today, I woke up after a dream where I got it good from none...

By Anonymous - 04/12/2010 11:23 - Sweden

Today, I woke up after a dream where I got it good from none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem? I'm a guy, and straight. Apparently my subconscious has a fetish for old Austrian bodybuilders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 063

You deserved it 6 654

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By wtfdreams - 17/05/2009 12:33 - United States

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193 143

You deserved it 50 229

By urgg - 05/09/2010 14:20 - United States

Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 917

You deserved it 5 025

No no fap season

By WhatTheactual - 15/10/2022 04:00

Today, I had a very hot sex dream about my female coworker. It was so good I woke up practically rock hard, jerked off, and had an amazing orgasm. There’s just one problem: I’m a gay guy, in a committed relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 453

You deserved it 662

By L - 16/10/2012 22:59 - Norway - Trondheim

Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 631

You deserved it 6 909

By damnit - 16/10/2009 17:27 - United States

Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 719

You deserved it 4 273

By Anonymous - 18/08/2015 13:26 - United States - Manchester

Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 337

You deserved it 4 027

Totally? Really?

By honk honk, fuckwad - 06/11/2015 22:39 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had a dream where I was giving Justin Bieber a blowjob. I'm a totally straight male. I have half a mind to bill the little bastard for therapy sessions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 965

You deserved it 6 005

By Anonymous - 10/07/2012 10:03 - United States

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 876

You deserved it 41 383

By Anonymous - 12/04/2019 20:00

Today, I dreamt I had a secret admirer whom I met in person. She had red hair, a plus size body and a beautiful smile. This would've been great if it weren't for the fact I was a straight woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 742

You deserved it 387

By Anonymous - 07/06/2012 17:41 - United States - Oregon City

Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 191

You deserved it 6 724

rldostie 19

Saturday 4 December 2010 19:22

Maybe you're not as straight as you think.

JessieMongoose 11

Saturday 4 December 2010 19:20

LMAO.

Comments

FlashBurn 13

Saturday 4 December 2010 19:41

Dude, Schwarzenegger may be old, but he's still in good shape. Lay off the tequila, that's all I can say.

brootalxkeni 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 19:43

O.O eewwwwwwwww

L3g4lPl4typus 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 19:43

that sucks. but I'm sure he flexed one of his muscles for you. lol

tex_mex13 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 20:44

haha win!!!!!!

sexycookies 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 4:09

ya his love musle

EllieB123 5

Saturday 4 December 2010 19:44

Mickey D is right! Sorry to crush your dreams OP. Haha(:

perdix 29

Saturday 4 December 2010 19:49

Are you sure it's Austrian bodybuilders you are into, or former governors of US States? If it's the latter, you might get Sarah Palin next time. Or Eliot Spitzer (who will give you $3000 an hour) Or George W. Bush. Or Bill Clinton.

ImaginaryFoe 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 19:56

Seems to me McGreevey would be more up OP's alley.

sourgirl101 28

Saturday 4 December 2010 20:14

And which "alley" are we speaking about?

raithex 0

Sunday 5 December 2010 14:55

Perdix, your comments never cease to amuse me. :D

ktrose 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 20:01

What a beauty haha.

Stockholm06 3

Saturday 4 December 2010 20:10

Åh, din stackare....du behöver nog terapi nu :/

lilponygurrl 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 20:23

are u sure your straight? lmao

bizarre_ftw 21

Monday 10 October 2011 1:22

Apparently not or he wouldn't be so freaked out

Pawned71 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 20:30

im cumming NAOOO!!!(Schwarzneggars accent)

_krispy 0

Sunday 5 December 2010 3:12

HAHAHAH ROFL :L

Vayt 2

Saturday 4 December 2010 20:42

The good news is that Freud generally didn't know what he was talking about, when it comes to his conceptualization of the subconscious, and sometimes a random firing of synapses performing reconstructive and crystallizing tasks on your neurons is just a cigar.