Intimacy: Today, I woke up and realized I'd experienced my first "nocturnal...

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By Anonymous - 30/12/2009 04:58 - United States

Today, I woke up and realized I'd experienced my first "nocturnal emission". I'm a 24 year-old guy who has been married for 3 months. Guess who isn't getting any. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 426

You deserved it 3 114

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Same thing different taste

Inactive

By inbogota - 06/03/2021 15:30 - Colombia

Today, I had the most action in months when I woke up to a wet dream. I'm married, I guess that tells you all about my sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 177

By brokedick - 12/12/2011 06:23 - United States

Today, after 5 years of no intimate, sexual contact with a woman, I finally got my chance. Unfortunately, I also discovered that I have full-on erectile dysfunction. I'm 23 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 403

You deserved it 4 093

Just once

By Anonymous - 19/02/2020 20:00

Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 992

You deserved it 208

Nocturnal emissions

By James - 16/11/2022 06:00 - United States - Warner Robins

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my man juice all over me. I'm 40 years-old, and haven’t had a wet dream since my early high school days. The worst part is that the only dream I remember involved going to the DMV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 246

Leave Me Alone

By gordogs 25 - 04/04/2012 10:53 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I woke up for the third time in a row from a wet dream about my ex-girlfriend. I'm currently on my honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 138

You deserved it 13 049

By Anonymous - 02/02/2011 21:47 - United States

Today, I woke up from my honeymoon to discover the love of my life is a bed wetter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 714

You deserved it 9 449

Frustrated girl

By Anonymous - 30/06/2025 22:00 - United Arab Emirates - Al Ain City

Today, as a 26 year-old woman, I had my first orgasm. I gave it to myself. None of my long-term relationships even came close. For almost 26 years I thought I would never have one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 96

By Wet dreamer - 17/01/2018 19:00

Today, I slept in my boyfriend's room for the first time. I also wet the bed for the first time in a decade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 953

You deserved it 783

Not going well, is it?

By Anonymous - 24/03/2021 20:00 - United States

Today, I've been married for six months, my husband and I are in our early twenties, and not only does he have absolutely no interest in any kind of sexual act with me, he actually becomes angry and irritated when I try to come on to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 450

You deserved it 258

By homewrecker - 01/08/2009 13:44 - United States

Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 087

You deserved it 64 051

vrock 0

Monday 1 August 2011 5:11

Wow, its bitches like you that make me love my girlfriend

allmidnighteyes 10

Thursday 31 December 2009 5:23

Is your "BF", by any chance, the hamster in your profile picture?

Comments

alicia_was_here 3

Thursday 31 December 2009 22:07

let me guess. since you got yours in a dream, id say your wife isnt getting any. FHL :(

anfernizzay 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:48

@meepmeep it's true though, any 15 year old who "gets action all the time"=***** whether male or female.

hazelkee 0

Thursday 24 June 2010 23:00

whrobins431 4

Monday 4 January 2010 8:59

hey he must be getting some in his dream hahaha

tightshot 0

Wednesday 6 January 2010 4:05

Dude if ur married and having so little sex that ur creaming ur pants at night it's time for a hooker o an affair

sparkleprincess 0

Friday 15 January 2010 20:30

thats really sad. is this why my bf doesnt wanna marry me . he's convinced something "changes" yeah this is gotta be it.. your girls a b i t c h

heyitsexxiibabii 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 3:37

wooow...my 13 year old boy friend had his first 3 years ago

TheCalendarGirl 5

Wednesday 22 June 2011 2:27

You're thirteen, shut up.

mc1900 4

Sunday 14 February 2010 11:10

you suck - your life sucks. if you've been married 3 months and are not ever having sex there is something seriously wrong. you most likely have no libido.