Intimacy: Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing...

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By Ned - 29/08/2009 23:36 - United States

Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 532

You deserved it 3 890

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

By Nighty-nitrogen - 10/05/2016 00:07 - United States - Hollywood

Today, I was trying to sleep, when I felt someone rattling my bed from underneath. Petrified from shock, I lied there for what felt like hours, waiting for a murderer to spring out. I must've finally fallen asleep, and when I woke up in the morning, I found out it was a minor earthquake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 528

You deserved it 1 873

Morning motivation

By thermos - 03/02/2009 23:47 - United States

Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 195

You deserved it 53 438

But I didn't! I wasn't!

By I didn't though - 10/09/2015 04:07 - United States

Today, I arrived at a camp and met one of my roommates. At bedtime, I had energy still, so I did push-ups. The guy was asleep or so I thought because he was facing the wall. The guy thought I was jacking off and told everyone I did it in the middle of our room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 870

You deserved it 2 849

By killmyself - 23/01/2009 19:50 - United States

Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 381

You deserved it 47 235

By Anonymous - 04/08/2009 00:25 - United States

Today, I was woken up by a loud noise, which I thought was an earthquake. It sounded like a car had driven right into my living room. Which was exactly what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 313

You deserved it 2 692

By Anonymous - 17/01/2016 18:41 - United States - Valparaiso

Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 725

You deserved it 4 005

Lock your doors

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 00:14

Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 499

You deserved it 767

Frustrated

By skipper - 12/02/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 821

You deserved it 12 095

By 44haley44 - 12/07/2011 17:25 - United States

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 776

You deserved it 57 291

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 21:35 - United States

Today, I woke up and rolled out of bed. I'm on the top mattress of a bunk bed. We have tile floors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 804

You deserved it 8 685

redbluegreen 40

Sunday 30 August 2009 7:27

So, did you hop in his bunk afterwards.... And take in the aftershocks?

MadeOfAwesome 1

Sunday 30 August 2009 7:30

Apparently it's never too early in the morning to pleasure yourself

Comments

Nonotyouher 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 9:46

Earthquakes in Ohio? Since when?

Brittface 6

Sunday 30 August 2009 9:48

Haha that's funny as shit! FYL! that sucks for you

mubaki 18

Sunday 30 August 2009 9:50

lmao. p.s. I might be missing something here, but why is it significant that it was 6am?

Puolukka 4

Sunday 30 August 2009 11:59

Because the OP was still sleeping and the shaking was what woke him up, so he was confused and his first thought was "earthquake"...if he hadn't specified that it was 6 am, everyone would have been assuming that they were both awake, chilling on their beds and the roommate was masturbating even though he knew the OP was in the top bunk and awake... -_-

Dahlia_F 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 13:10

i was thinking about that too lol.

IFUCKINLOVETEA 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 16:10

but he said ''i woke up'' smartass. i think the reason 6am is significant is cause its very random time to get funky!

zpicci 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 10:00

this is the best fml i've ever read. thank you to whoever moderated this. fml's have sucked lately and I needed a funny one that belongs there to keep me from deleting the fml app

brasileirinha 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 10:04

LMAO @ "catastrophic masturbating"

cocky 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 10:18

Does the time really matter? And learn to spell **********. Moron.

summerboy18 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 10:49

that's sick

tori_ellen 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 10:51

Damn earthquakes...a friend of mine texted me a few nights ago to ask me if the quake woke me. It was 2:15am, it was his text that woke me, and we don't even live in the same city.