Intimacy: Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing...

By Ned - 29/08/2009 23:36 - United States

Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 518

You deserved it 3 884

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Same thing different taste

By Nighty-nitrogen - 10/05/2016 00:07 - United States - Hollywood

Today, I was trying to sleep, when I felt someone rattling my bed from underneath. Petrified from shock, I lied there for what felt like hours, waiting for a murderer to spring out. I must've finally fallen asleep, and when I woke up in the morning, I found out it was a minor earthquake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 525

You deserved it 1 869

Morning motivation

By thermos - 03/02/2009 23:47 - United States

Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 191

You deserved it 53 420

But I didn't! I wasn't!

By I didn't though - 10/09/2015 04:07 - United States

Today, I arrived at a camp and met one of my roommates. At bedtime, I had energy still, so I did push-ups. The guy was asleep or so I thought because he was facing the wall. The guy thought I was jacking off and told everyone I did it in the middle of our room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 863

You deserved it 2 846

By killmyself - 23/01/2009 19:50 - United States

Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 371

You deserved it 47 203

By Anonymous - 04/08/2009 00:25 - United States

Today, I was woken up by a loud noise, which I thought was an earthquake. It sounded like a car had driven right into my living room. Which was exactly what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 308

You deserved it 2 688

By Anonymous - 17/01/2016 18:41 - United States - Valparaiso

Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 710

You deserved it 3 993

Lock your doors

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 00:14

Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 471

You deserved it 764

Frustrated

By skipper - 12/02/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 814

You deserved it 12 089

By 44haley44 - 12/07/2011 17:25 - United States

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 750

You deserved it 57 262

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 21:35 - United States

Today, I woke up and rolled out of bed. I'm on the top mattress of a bunk bed. We have tile floors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 802

You deserved it 8 683

redbluegreen 40

Sunday 30 August 2009 7:27

So, did you hop in his bunk afterwards.... And take in the aftershocks?

MadeOfAwesome 1

Sunday 30 August 2009 7:30

Apparently it's never too early in the morning to pleasure yourself

Comments

girlsnotgrey 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 17:09

how come no one has commented on the fact that he has a roomate and a bunkbed still?!?

liquidbunny 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 17:13

Haha dude was beating his dick like it was trying to escape to freedom.

liquidbunny 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 17:19

Haha dude was beating his dick like it was trying to escape to freedom.

blondegirl_fml 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 17:24

OMG, was he trying to rip his penis off or something?

Trollkiller 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 17:30

#78 lol.....u winn one I tried to jerk in public bus and the driver saw me. but yeah that's it

Jessticle85 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 18:16

hahaha. that sux. did u kick him in the head?

cLaAaNdEsTiNe 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 19:29

and imagine if he was on the top bunk... it might have come crashing down on you....

scottyrocks123 21

Tuesday 29 March 2011 3:02

you got that off of 1000 ways to die . . . when the jock got all the girls and the nerd that was sharing the room with him finally got a girl and crashed down on the jock

Egotistical 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 19:54

Is his dick the size of a tree branch or something? **** a branch more like the while tree!!! How awkward. I agree too many fratties"dude,bro,man?" seriously that's aggravating. Op...life goes on.