Intimacy: Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking...

By Anonymous - 19/02/2011 21:29 - United States

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 099

You deserved it 44 834

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Same thing different taste

By Ah hell - 31/01/2009 14:43 - United States

Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 872

You deserved it 52 661

By holyshitbatman - 22/09/2012 14:06 - United States - Chicago

Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 529

You deserved it 29 757

By weirdesout - 05/06/2010 02:03 - United States

Today, I found out that my best friend kisses me while I sleep. We're both guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 969

You deserved it 8 742

By homewrecker - 01/08/2009 13:44 - United States

Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 070

You deserved it 64 012

Alexa, play "Asleep" by The Smiths

By Anonymous - 01/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 661

You deserved it 220

By Anonymous - 20/11/2018 17:35

Today, my best friend and my ex-boyfriend went on a business trip, got drunk, and ended up sleeping together. Now they want to start dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 845

You deserved it 351

And today on Maury…

By Anonymous - 24/04/2020 20:00

Today, I was driving my best friend home when he admitted to being gay. I was glad he could trust me with a secret like this. Until he admitted to having sex with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 703

You deserved it 207

By Anonymous - 25/11/2010 13:41 - United States

Today, my best friend, with whom I have been in love for years, kissed me, hugged me, held my hand, hooked up with me and told me that he loved me more than anything and wanted to be with me... until he sobered up and his girlfriend got back to town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 679

You deserved it 8 220

By drunk - 06/03/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 279

You deserved it 40 946

By tequilashot - 20/09/2016 04:40 - Brazil - Porto Alegre

Today, I finally had sex with the man with whom I've been in love for months. Too bad I was too drunk to remember a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 620

You deserved it 4 819

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Sunday 20 February 2011 0:32

No ****.

blackbird31 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 0:36

You may want to reconsider the "straight" part.

Comments

manda83 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 7:47

not anymore you're not

kisweetie2001 3

Sunday 20 February 2011 8:15

Serprize buttsecks!

nikki9tails 3

Sunday 20 February 2011 8:18

iNsANity510 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 8:30

therz jst thingz yur nt to share all over tha internet...thatz jst very sad

Autoshot 9

Sunday 20 February 2011 8:33

Yea sorry to say, but my internet sources confirm that you are gay if you have gay sex.

Sodahpop 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 8:44

u must feel so conflicted man

ZomKi 3

Sunday 20 February 2011 9:09

been there, done that. Did it again....

JoeMarie1996 13

Sunday 20 February 2011 9:19

haha, yeah... not anymore dx"

slinginmac14 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 9:25

not anymore..... fags

jeffmotu 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 9:36

haha!

Keywords

Embarrassing Work Accident Health Relatable Love LGBTQIA+ Annoying Inappropriate AITA My ex Relationship advice Animals Cute Cats Friends Transportation Awkward Cars Dogs Money Scams Miscellaneous Kids Family Drugs Public freakouts Cheating Sex Intimacy

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Today, I was watching a movie with my parents. They were both on the bed, and I was lying on the floor next to their bed. Halfway through the movie, apparently forgetting that I was in the room, my parents started getting… friendly. Three feet away from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 768

You deserved it 4 848

Today, after working for over a decade at the same place, I was formally written up with two days of leave without pay for refusing to work extra overtime. I've been working over 80 hours a week for four months now and even cancelled some very important plans so I could work every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 79

The Top

Today, my mother spent over $5,000 to fly in a Feng-Shui master, put him in a five-star hotel, and had him walk around our house with a compass, moving things to help improve the "energy flow." Now all I have in my room is an old mattress and lamp. He's coming back tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 406

You deserved it 3 310

Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 744

You deserved it 4 440

Today, I paid a surprise visit to my parents, after having moved out for university last year. My room had been stripped bare and all the family photos featuring me were missing from the wall. When I asked why, my mom asked me in return why I was asking stupid questions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 759

You deserved it 2 250

Today, I got a job in my university library. My job title is technical services. My actual job is pulling off the book label for the scanner and putting a new one on. For six hours a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 979

You deserved it 4 648

Today, I went to Waffle House to talk to the manager about getting a job. My boyfriend now wants to beat up the manager for giving me his number so that I can call him whenever I'm done filling in the application. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 778

You deserved it 3 410

Today, I found out that my father asked my best friend to marry him. He's 38 and we're 18. She said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 822

You deserved it 3 251

Same thing different taste

Alexa, play "Asleep" by The Smiths

And today on Maury…

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