Intimacy: Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking...

By Anonymous - 19/02/2011 21:29 - United States

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 099

You deserved it 44 834

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Same thing different taste

By Ah hell - 31/01/2009 14:43 - United States

Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 872

You deserved it 52 661

By holyshitbatman - 22/09/2012 14:06 - United States - Chicago

Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 529

You deserved it 29 757

By weirdesout - 05/06/2010 02:03 - United States

Today, I found out that my best friend kisses me while I sleep. We're both guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 969

You deserved it 8 742

By homewrecker - 01/08/2009 13:44 - United States

Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 070

You deserved it 64 012

Alexa, play "Asleep" by The Smiths

By Anonymous - 01/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 661

You deserved it 220

By Anonymous - 20/11/2018 17:35

Today, my best friend and my ex-boyfriend went on a business trip, got drunk, and ended up sleeping together. Now they want to start dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 845

You deserved it 351

And today on Maury…

By Anonymous - 24/04/2020 20:00

Today, I was driving my best friend home when he admitted to being gay. I was glad he could trust me with a secret like this. Until he admitted to having sex with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 703

You deserved it 207

By Anonymous - 25/11/2010 13:41 - United States

Today, my best friend, with whom I have been in love for years, kissed me, hugged me, held my hand, hooked up with me and told me that he loved me more than anything and wanted to be with me... until he sobered up and his girlfriend got back to town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 679

You deserved it 8 220

By drunk - 06/03/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 279

You deserved it 40 946

By tequilashot - 20/09/2016 04:40 - Brazil - Porto Alegre

Today, I finally had sex with the man with whom I've been in love for months. Too bad I was too drunk to remember a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 620

You deserved it 4 819

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Sunday 20 February 2011 0:32

No ****.

blackbird31 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 0:36

You may want to reconsider the "straight" part.

Comments

CkMystic 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 4:01

not anymore...

babbsy 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 4:04

WTF!!!!

antsinmypants199 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 4:18

not straight anymore!! hahahha

rlatpffl86 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 4:20

Err, you sure about that?

rees13 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 4:22

wow Go to church........(SMDH)

BugsBunny1 4

Sunday 20 February 2011 4:23

Wow 46, you used "win" and "fail" as nouns AND adjectives...... You sir, are a rebel.

ScrabbleBabe2010 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 4:23

Ya...about that...are you sure? Straight guys would never ever ever do that no matter how drunk unless 1 forced the other.

xxochristineox 3

Sunday 20 February 2011 4:25

you've got some 'splainin to do...

fearthereaper79 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 4:29

So who was the taker and who was the giver haha

Meaningless 1

Sunday 20 February 2011 4:37

LOL.

Keywords

Embarrassing Work Accident Health Relatable Love LGBTQIA+ Annoying Inappropriate AITA My ex Relationship advice Animals Cute Cats Friends Transportation Awkward Cars Dogs Money Scams Miscellaneous Kids Family Drugs Public freakouts Cheating Sex Intimacy

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Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 114

Today, my new neighbours moved in. I've neither seen nor spoken to them yet; all I know is that they enjoy hammering at the walls for hours on end and repeatedly setting off the fire alarm. All this in the small hours of the morning. I got two hours of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 449

You deserved it 2 080

The Top

Today, as I was walking down the street, a car full of hot girls pulled up and asked if I wanted to party; obviously, I said yes. They then shot at me with party poppers and threw party food all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 414

You deserved it 9 705

Today, my mother offered to pay for my tickets to go see my girlfriend who I haven't seen for 6 months. She was happy to pay for the £130 flight, but then refused half way through the purchase because she wasn't going to "let the buggers charge £13 extra" for using her credit card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 032

You deserved it 3 546

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try role play. She suggested I be a robber, so I went outside and tried to break in my window, wearing nothing but my underwear and a ski mask on. She decided it would be funny to call the cops, because it would, "add to the mood." They came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 607

You deserved it 455

Today, I moved back in with my parents in order to help them with the mortgage, so they don't lose the house that has been in our family for three generations. I also found out that I now have a curfew, and so does my husband and our 3 year old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 579

You deserved it 5 134

Today, during a job interview, I was offered a sandwich. I politely declined, explaining that I'm a coeliac and would probably get very sick. He said coeliac disease "isn't real" and that gluten-free eating is just a fad. I had to leave when he kept pushing me to accept it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 784

You deserved it 3 917

But mooooom! I'm a grown man!

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 60

Same thing different taste

Alexa, play "Asleep" by The Smiths

And today on Maury…

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