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I love how everyone thinks that making a small penis joke works in these situations. Doesn't even matter, cause he still got to smash, and she probably enjoyed it. Probably.
Stroke his arm and say "Christ, I really need a different boyfriend"
I'm amazed by the number of people with Acne who don't feel it will clear up as they get older... it really does. I had a theory that dating a hot girl with some spots gets you a hot girl a few years later, and it did work out, although I only came up with it afterwards (i.e. I've never used the theory). Okay, she did then go off with someone else...
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That's actually my worst fear.. To be in a vulnerable state and have the guy I woke up next to say something about my appearance. I'm sorry, OP. That must have hurt.
Touch his balls and go " WHAT ARE THOOOOOOOSE"